Make Me Weak (Make Me #1) (24 page)

“He did, why?”

I shrugged but couldn’t hold back my smile. “Because that’s the sort of person he is. He’s amazing and I think you would really like him.”

“If you do, I do.”

My heart was about to burst. Thinking of Onyx, holding Daisy, and even in a way bringing my worlds together.

“Would you like me to read you what he wrote?”

“Yes please!”

I pulled the envelope out of my pocket and then the lined pages from the envelope.

“My dearest Daisy,” I began, praying dearly for the strength to make it through this letter before losing it.

My Dearest Daisy,

I’m not sure when you will be reading this letter. I left this in your mother’s care to discuss me as she is ready. Maybe it will be never and these words will remain lost and restricted to the paper I wrote them on. Either way, every word I say I mean and it doesn’t matter if they remain unread.

I want to start by saying I was beyond honored to know about you. You should know Daisy, your mother loves you very much. She never stops working to provide for a better life and she protects you more than anyone other mother I know. You may not be together right now but I know that will change soon. You’re destined to live a full happy life with your extraordinary mom.

There is something I’d like to tell you that I have not told anyone before. I am in love with your mother. She is inspirational to me, someone who lights up my world, and is so full of life. I imagine you are talented like her and just as beautiful. I wanted to tell you before I told anyone else because you are the one person in this world that has always had a place in her heart. If anyone else is to become a piece of her world they would need the permission of her little girl.

You may not know me, Daisy but I will do everything in my power to help you come home. With your mother—right where you belong.

Love,

Onyx Ramsey

My tears dripped onto the pages as I clung to every single word Onyx wrote. He loved me. There were plenty of suspicions that he did but to read the words were different. A whole new world seemed to open up around me. Everything felt better and more magical. I wished more than anything that I could hold Daisy and Onyx in my arms and feel just how much love surrounded me. This was the first time in my fucked up world that I found myself wanting a family. Not just any family but this one.

“Mommy?”

I looked through my tears to Daisy’s beautiful little face. “Yes baby?”

“It’s okay for you to love him. He makes you happy.”

“He does.” I confirmed. “I love you too, Daisy. I’ll be back soon.”

I shoved the letter and her torn up bag into my hoodie pocket. Gave Daisy one final hug and kiss goodbye and shimmied down the tree. I made my way through the neighborhood until I saw the silhouette of my dark knight on his bike, waiting for me to return. I burst into a run, Onyx maneuvered onto the pavement and I jumped into his arms. Our lips sealed together instantly and all that love I felt while reading the letter was magnified.

His fingers dug into my shirt as I caressed his face. He backed away a bit but only to speak and that didn’t stop my lips from continuing to kiss his mouth repeatedly.

“I take it you read the letter?”

I nodded, sealing one more kiss before answering. “You love me?”

“I do, Alexandria. I may have loved you the moment I watched you crawl across the table toward me. You are fiercely sexy, incredibly talented, and one of the strongest people I have ever known. How could I not be in love with you?”

“I’m not all those things.”

“You are and you’re more.”

My heart beat quicker than a humming bird as a tingling sensation raced through my bloodstream. Everything was heightened and intensified—this must be what it feels like to be in love.

“I love you, Onyx Ramsey.”

With a final kiss I felt for the first time everything was going to work out. With Onyx in my grasp and Daisy in my future. For once I no longer felt like the weak little girl—scared and lost. I felt this undeniable strength that I couldn’t recall ever feeling before. I believe it to be true that life is darkest just before the dawn and sometimes you need to be at your weakest in order to be strong. You need to feel pain and hurt before you can feel love. You need to have faith before you can have forever. And there is no better place to start than right here with the only man I have ever truly loved.

Three Months Later

It was hard to believe in just a few months my life could change so much. My days were no longer spent in my own bubble, hating my past, and fearful of my future. A few nights a week I danced at the club but those were rare occurrences as I wanted to spend all my time with Onyx. Not long ago I thought staying the night at a man’s house was crossing a line but that was nothing compared to my current predicament. After revealing all to Onyx he took it upon himself to pack up my life and move me from my rundown place into his home. I put up a minor stink because well, that’s just what I do. Truthfully though, the thought of living with Onyx was something I only pictured in my wildest fantasies.

Waking up in his arms each morning and falling asleep next to him each night was a dream come true. We spent our days making music, painting, and everything in between. We were inseparable and no matter what I couldn’t get enough of him. Onyx was the best inspiration, my confidant, and without a doubt my best friend. Well, one of them. I could never forget Kayne. After I first moved in with Onyx, Kayne made a point of it to ignore us both. We didn’t talk about Kayne’s absence too much but there was no doubt how much we missed him.

A few weeks after the move in Kayne came by and everything felt right. The three of us would go to the beach, out to the bar, and everywhere in between. It was surreal, in all honesty. There was just one thing missing—Daisy. I’ve gone by to see her a couple more times but something isn’t right—I feel it. I’m scared I’ll lose her and I don’t know how to make it better.

On a beautiful Sunday morning I was doing one of the most domestic things I’ve ever done—cooking breakfast for Onyx. Fast asleep in bed still and after staring at his peaceful sleeping face I became inspired to do something special for him. The sun was peeking over the horizon and as I cooked up eggs and pancakes I became lost in my thoughts. I hated the gut wrenching feeling that something bad was coming especially when all I wanted to do was revel in the good.

Out of nowhere Onyx wound his arms around my waist, pressing his face into my back. It was almost instant that the bad feelings slipped away I let my eyes close to feel the warmth of him spread throughout me.

“I was hoping to bring you breakfast in bed.” I whispered.

“That would have been lovely.” His sleep laced voice was thick and raspy. I doubted he even had his morning cigarette before stumbling into the kitchen to see me. “But your thoughts were so loud they woke me.”

I snorted. “What are you talking about?”

“I sensed something was wrong, love.”

I switched off the stove and slowly twisted in his arms to get a look at him. There was more scruff on his face than usual and his eyes were hooded with the sleep that hadn’t shaken off yet.

“But you were asleep.”

“Alexandria, do you think I need to be awake and looking at you to know when something isn’t right? I love you, I’m in tune to you. I sense when there are burdens you feel or terrors that haunt you. That was why I never let you slip away from me before.”

My fingers slid down the side of his face. There was a reason I never knew real love before, it was because I had never met Onyx. I have never met another person so intuitive and caring especially of me.

“I love you.”

“And I you, love. Now tell me, what’s troubling you?”

“There’s something wrong with Daisy. I’m not really certain what it is but I have a feeling there is something going on.”

“Do you think she is sick?”

“No, nothing like that. Daisy herself is fine, but I can’t explain it.”

Onyx thought about it for a moment, letting his fingers curl around the ends of my hair. “Then maybe what you need is to back away for a bit. We need to start planning a way to get your daughter back. You have been lucky when it comes to her, love. You cannot expect to continue this sneaking in bit for much longer. One night someone is going to see you and this whole charade will be up. It will be that much harder to get Daisy back too if a judge knows you’ve been breaking in to see her.”

“I know you’re right but I don’t want to just leave Daisy behind.”

“Darling, I know you hate your grandmother but so far it seems that Daisy has at least been safe. I have no doubt she would have told you if she was in danger. Take comfort in that. I think in the back of your grandma’s mind she knows that if she did anything to that little girl she’d lose her. As screwed up as the old woman sounds, something tells me she’d never do anything to hurt her.”

Despite every part of me hating my grandmother I knew he was right. If she hated Daisy she would have pawned her off on me a long time ago. Onyx was right about everything I just didn’t want
to believe that what was best would require leaving her alone. I needed to get her back and the only way to do that was through the legal system.

“It’s not going to be possible to be without her.” My bottom lip began to quiver but before anything could break free, Onyx pulled me into his arms. I buried my face into his chest, breathing in the scent of Onyx I had grown to love.

“You’ll get her back, love. She’ll be safe we both know it. But to take your mind off of it let’s take a month to travel a bit.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, pulling away from him.

“Do you remember how I told you that me and my father would travel around together?”

I nodded. “You said you played music together—anywhere you wanted.”

“That’s right. Let’s do that again. I’ll play, you paint and we’ll make money to continue our journey. Just for a little bit to let this feeling of something being wrong settle in your heart. We’ll be together, live a little, and find a way to be happy. What do you say?”

“I say yes—just as long as I can say goodbye to Daisy. I want to tell her what’s going on so she doesn’t think the worst has happened.”

“Of course, love. Do what you need.”

“I’ll see her tonight and tomorrow we can start our journey.”

“Perfect.”

The rest of the day I spent packing as I was filled with nothing but complete excitement. It saddened me to leave Daisy but I was anxious to travel with Onyx. See the world a bit, I’ve always
wanted to leave this place. I had only hoped that as I crossed over the city limits I’d be doing it with Daisy next to me. Someday though, I had to believe it would happen.

Onyx insisted on driving to the same spot he had every time for the past few months but I refused. There was more packing that needed to be done with his guitars and I knew I’d need the space once I left her. All day I had been trying to prepare myself for a long goodbye but I knew it wasn’t going to be that easy. This way at least I had the walk home to try and compose myself.

For once I didn’t try to race to Daisy. I took my time on the walk, crept carefully between the houses and stared up at her window for a long time. I was only prolonging the inevitable but I couldn’t just get myself to hurry up. No mother wants to tell her child goodbye, especially since I was sure I wouldn’t be able to see her until after we went to court. Onyx was right—sneaking into her room was no way to be a mother. It was time I stood up against my grandmother and proved myself to a judge that I was Daisy’s mother and rightful guardian.

I finally worked up the courage, climbed the tree and hopped into her room. The second my feet touched the floor the overhead light turned on and standing before me I saw my grandmother. I glanced around the room but saw Daisy wasn’t here.

“Well, well, I knew you’d be back soon. How lovely to see you again, Alexandria.” Her wicked grin made every bone in my body shake. My heart was pounding as I slowly realized my biggest fears were staring back at me.

“Where is Daisy?”

“Not here, but I do have something I want to give you.”

“Unless they are papers signing my daughter back over to me then I don’t want them.”

She let out a chuckle that made my skin crawl. I stood my ground, teeth clenched, hands in fists, ready for anything. She took a few leisurely paced steps toward me and held out a manila folder. A smile never faltered from her face as she waited patiently for me to take it. Nothing good could come from whatever was inside. I felt my stomach start to rot with queasiness and uncertainty.

“Take it, Andie. It’s fair of me to show you. It is in place regardless of you seeing the papers or not.”

“What’s in place?”

“Only one way to find out.”

I snatched the folder from her hands, praying it left a wicked paper cut at least. As soon as I looked at the documents my heart sank. My eyes found the key words necessary before I had to stop looking at the pages.

“You’re giving me a restriction order?”

“Oh yes, as soon as I noticed something was off. You know, Daisy was always tired the next day. She always
had
to have her window open at night and her teacher mentioned that one day Daisy mentioned a mother in class. I guess it was just a little slip up but it all started to make sense. Once I had the order drawn up I just had to wait for a night to give it to you.”

“You can’t keep me from seeing
my
daughter!”

“Don’t kid yourself, Andie. You may have given birth to Daisy but she is in no way yours.”

“You’re wrong!” My blood boiled, I wanted to rip the smile from her face and tear it to shreds. “She has always and
will always
be mine!”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself, Andie. But for now, I’ll give you two minutes to get off of my property before I call the police.”

I was seething mad but knew I couldn’t stay. Not just because of the stupid restriction order but to keep me from lashing out. That would
not
help me get back my daughter.

“You’ll be hearing from my lawyer.”

She let out a boisterous laugh as if I had just cracked the funniest joke she ever heard. I was sick, furious, and needing Onyx. I climbed down and ran to the spot Onyx usually met me. I felt my throat tightening with the onslaught of approaching tears. Luckily I had my phone with so I pulled it out to send Onyx a text to come get me. I slipped my phone back into the pocket of my leather jacket and crumbled to the ground.

I wasn’t sure how long I sat there crying before the roar of Onyx’s chopper. Yet the instant I did hear the sound fresh tears sprung from my eyes as I knew I’d safely be in his arms soon. My body felt weak, drained, but I still managed to get to my feet. Onyx was off his bike and raced to me a moment later. I let myself fall into his weight while he rubbed my back in soothing circles.