MC: LaPonte-Karr: Book Three (21 page)

One week

Patches

"Doc, thanks for coming we wanted to talk to you about Tess."  I tell him as he slides into the booth.

Rich laughs, "Let's get him a drink first Patch."  Rich gets out and goes to the bar.

"Sally says Tess is doing great.  She has some little things that haven't been addressed but for the most part she's integrating very quickly."  I nod looking at the bar for Rich.

Rob gets Rich our drinks, he makes his way over and sets the drinks in front of us sitting down.  "What did I miss?"

Doc laughs, "I just said Tess was doing great."

"She is but we had a couple of questions.  The first is her dreams or visions or whatever you want to call them.  What if she has one while she's driving?  They come out of nowhere."  I ask thinking of the worst case scenarios.

"That's one of Sally's concerns.  She's had a couple at the daycare.  She held a baby during one, she kept the baby close to her chest and it only lasted for about a minute but the baby was sleeping and Tess was sitting down.  The concern is what if it was a toddler?"  Fuck!  She loves her job.

"Fuck Doc.  What do we need to do?" Rich asks.

"She loves her job but it might be better for her to be with the older kids.  Sally thought with Ally getting older she would have a need for girl activities that Tess can make happen for her.  This was something I was going to talk to Kate about later this week."  I nod.  Fuck she's been through so much, now her dreams are going to fuck with her happiness.

"I think it's a great idea.  She's happy with any of the kids.  I'm not sure it would bother her so much if she moved as long as she had someone to take care of."  Rich tells him.  I didn't see that coming.

I look at him, "Really?  You don't think she's going to resent the dreams for taking away her job?"

"No.  She wants to feel useful; she doesn't really care how she's useful.  I bet if Peg needed help she would jump at the chance to make coffee.  She just wants to be needed showing she's worth something."  He tells me.  Fuck he has a point.  Maybe I'm looking at it wrong.

"What are your other concerns?"  Doc asks.

"When she rolls in bed she doesn't spread her legs.  If one of us touches her to roll her, her legs always spread.  Is that going away or is there a way to stop it?  It's a fuckin constant reminder of what they did to her."  Rich asks him.

"That's one of the first questions I asked Sally when I got your call.  I knew it would come up again.  There's not a lot you can do.  You could try hypnotic suggestion but Sally is completely against it.  First you'd have to tell her she's doing it.  This could set her back because she'll start worrying about everything she does that she's not aware of, this could cause her progress to stall.  The other thing is adding more suggestions to her mind for something that is not life threatening is doing just what you want to stop.  Sally thinks it needs to stop on its own, she'll get there herself."  That's not really what I wanted to hear.

Rich looks at me.  He's thinking what I am.  I look at Doc.  "The last is her trigger words.  We still haven't seen anything but 'sweet treat' trigger a reaction."

"That's another one of those 'you have to wait it out' things.  Sally made a good observation.  It could have been the words paired with the Dom demeanor."

"But we got the same reaction."  I tell him.

"I don't even have to ask.  Rich said the words that got the reaction right?"  He asks.

"Yeah." He answers looking into the bar.

"Rich, there's nothing wrong with dominant people.  It's not exclusively a demeanor or personality that is bad, wrong, or entirely male."  Doc says looking at him.

Rich looks back, "there's not a fuckin bone in my body that wants Tess to ever feel like she's owned or has to follow someone else's orders because of a punishment threat."

"You are the last person I see as trying to dominate her.  Your whole relationship is based on love and protection.  You're not about control and domination.  Sure you control your life and situations that cross your path, but not people.  You’re about teaching them to grow and think for themselves.  You do it with the kids, some of the Brothers, Patches and now Tess.  Your whole fuckin job is to protect and teach Rich.  It's who you are."

Rich smiles and looks at me.  I laugh.  "I knew it all along."  I tell him making Doc laugh.

Rich looks at him.  "Thanks, I never thought about it that way before."

"Back to what you asked, her triggers haven't been found.  It could be that they never will be or it really is a combination of words and the demeanor or voice that sets it in motion.  It's another wait and see answer."

He looks back and forth between us.  "You’re not full of answers like I thought you'd be Doc.  I was hoping for at least one easy fix."  I tell him, he spits his drink across the fuckin table spraying me.  Rich laughs jumping to get a towel from Rob.

Once they fuckin calm themselves Doc says, "You're not asking about a cut that's infected or shots.  You’re talking about Tess' mind.  Nothing is as it seems because her past was so fucked up.  Preacher’s daughter, homeschooled, secluded, slave.  On top of that she has a will of steel, the courage of ten men and visions.  You could have picked someone that was a little easier.  Fuck, the battered women don't have half her baggage.  Instead you brought me Tess.  It's a good thing there's two of you, that's a heavy fuckin load, it takes both of you to carry it.  You want easy, break your fuckin arm."

Rich laughs hysterically.  I shake my head.  "It's not like we had a choice and you met Sally."

He smiles.  "Yeah, I did.  If you're done I'm getting back to her."  I look at Rich, he nods.   Doc stands to leave.  "Next time you can ask Sally all this.  She won't do anything to hurt Tess and she'll answer truthfully without breaking confidentiality.  Tess gave her permission to answer any question you ask." He throws chin and walks away.

"Fuckin Doc."  We say at the same time and laugh.

Christmas

Rich

We go to my dad, Ben and Kate's to open presents with them.  The kids are taking turns, they are so fuckin patient.  I want them to tear into the presents but they wait their turn.  Tess is loving every minute of it but something is bothering her.  I'm waiting her out.  Something tells me it's big.

They finally finish and start playing with their new toys.  Thank fuck they don't have a million things to open.  The 'rents, our new word for my dad, Kate and Ben didn't go overboard.  They were thoughtful and generous but didn't buy gifts just so they'd have more things to open.  My dad has always been that way, I'm glad to see it hasn't changed.  We hand Ben a box.  We had Penny make him a LaPonte shirt with James on the bottom.  We got one for Jessie too.  We'll let Ben give it to him later.  He loves it.  He hugs us telling me it means something.

My dad and Kate give him an envelope.  We watch as he opens it.  He is stunned. I want to see what he's got but I wait.  This is something that means something to him too.  He looks between them then hugs them both.  I look at Patches and Tess.  Patches shrug, Tess has tears.  She knows.  They're talking low so we watch the kids.  My dad gets everyone's attention and looks at Ben.  "My Christmas present is this."  The kids gather around him looking.  They look at Kate, she's smiling.  Jessie launches himself at her.  What the fuck is it?  I get up and go look.

"Fuckin Kate."  I laugh hugging Ben.  "Welcome to the family, officially Ben!  I'm so fuckin glad we got the shirt now."  He laughs.  The kids start hugging everyone they can reach.  Patches and Tess join in.  "Mrs. Kathryn Marie LaPonte-James, I'm so fuckin happy for you."  The kids put their hands out.  Everyone laughs.  I dig for money giving them a twenty; I'm going to be here all fuckin day.

The kids go back to playing.  Ben says there's only one gift left handing Tess an envelope with our names on it.  She looks at him saying thank you.  We laugh until she opens it.  The deed to his house, I'm floored.  Tess jumps up and hugs him.  My dad wants to know what it is.  Patches hands it to him laughing.  We all do the hug thing again.  Fuck he gave us a house.  "You gave us a fuckin house Ben."

He smiles.  "With it, Tess gets a home that's hers.  Patches has his bigger house.  You're close to your siblings and Danny and Kate know I'm all in.  It was a multi-purpose gift."  My dad and Kate hug him again.

"I fuckin love you guys.  I hug them all."  They laugh.  I don't care.

Me, Tess and Patches get coffee cake, fruit, muffins and drinks on the table.  Tess looks sad.  "Baby what is it?"  I can't take it.

"Tracey is coming.  We need to eat before she gets here."  She says with tears in her eyes.

Fuck!  That's not what I expected.  "We have to tell my dad."

"No.  I already told Jessie.  I thought he needed time to prepare.  He doesn't want them to know.  I promised him.  It will be ok but it's so sad."  She wipes her eyes and takes a breath.  I'm torn here.  I look at Patches.

"Jessie will do what feels right Rich.  We need to let him handle this his way.  I'm glad you told him Tess.  I think we need to let it play out."  He fuckin surprises me. I nod calling everyone in.

My dad and Ben know something's up.  We eat chatting with the kids and each other but our hearts aren't in it.  Tess stands and starts cleaning up so me and Patches get up and help.  She tells everyone to stay while we clean up.  They fuckin listen.  The kids talk about the deliveries yesterday.  They have us cracking up.

The doorbell goes off and I freeze.  Tess puts her hand out for Jessie.  They open the door together.  Jessie says hi then steps back.  Tracey walks in looking like shit.  She's surprised seeing us all here and leans against the counter.  "This is Tess, she's Rich and Patches wife."  Jessie tells her.  Ben stands, he's pissed.  Jessie looks at him.  "Dad you have to let it happen so it can be done.  Patches can you sign for Darren?"  Patches nods.  Everyone just looks at Jessie.  Kate puts her hand on Ben and he sits down watching.  "What did you want to talk to me about Tracey?"  Patches signs for Darren.

She takes in a breath.  "I'm your mother.  Can we go somewhere and talk in private?"

"No, Tracey.  From when I was little you always said you're not my mother.  I never told anyone, but I remember it.  This is my family.  They love me even though we don't share blood.  I got a mom for Christmas; she loves me like a mom should.  Anything that you want to say you have to say in front of them.  You forgot that we take care of our own.  They'll help me if I need it.  I just have to hold my hand out for them to reach me.  You have to talk where I can reach help if I need it.  What did you want to talk about?"  He says so sure of himself.  I'm so fuckin proud of him.

Tracy is crying.  "I wanted to say Merry Christmas and I miss you."

"Merry Christmas.  You don't miss me.  If you did I would have known.  You would have called to say so.  You miss having people that love you around when you want them.  I'm sorry you're broke and our strong wasn't enough.  But I'm just a little boy.  You need to fix yourself and find your own family now.  We can't be it anymore.  Sometimes you have to let people go in order to be happy.  You have to let us go and we have to let you go.  It's time."  Holy fuck Patches is right.  He's an old soul.  Tess has tears running down her face.  I hold on tighter.  Patches gives her a napkin then brings one to Kate.

Tracey looks at everyone.  "I guess you turned him against me."  Ben moves to stand.  Jessie stops him lifting his hand up.

"They don't talk about you at all.  That's how they are.  They didn't have to say anything to me.   Your actions are what I have to go by.  You didn't earn anything because you didn't give anything.  I think you should leave now."  He puts his hand out to the side.  Everyone goes to him.  Ben lifts him up holding him while he cries.  Everyone puts a hand on him.  That was the most profound and the saddest thing I've ever fuckin seen.

"I am so fuckin proud of you Jessie.  I'm so sorry she said that to you."  Ben tells him.  Jessie nods and looks for Kate, Ben turns him around and he grabs on to her.  Ben lets him go stepping back so Kate can hold him.  My dad hugs them both.

This is fuckin unbelievable.  I look down at Tess.  She's still crying, she looks up, “It had to be this way."  She says quietly.  I nod.  I guess it did.

Jessie stops crying holding on to my dad.  "I'm sorry I didn't want Tess to tell you."  He looks at Ben and Kate.  "I thought if you knew you wouldn't let her in.  She needed to see that we're all done."

Ben nods.  "I agree with you on this one.  You should have told me what she said to you Jessie."

"You were hurt enough dad."  He tells his father.  I look at my dad.  I did the same thing.

"It's not your job to cover me Jessie.  I have family and a whole fuckin club of Brothers to cover me.  You need to be a kid and let me be a dad.  Promise me you won't hide things from me."

Jessie looks at him like he’s nuts, "Jeesh dad I'm a kid."  Everyone cracks up.  "Tess knew about today and saw no one was going to get hurt or she would have told you."

Ben nods looking at my father.  "Fuckin eleven year old boys.  They're good kids and too fuckin smart.  What are you going to do?"  He shrugs.

Jessie wiggles down and tells the kids it's Christmas.  They go back to their presents.  As soon as they're out of the room Kate lets out a breath.  "Holy shit!"  I smile.

Steve, Te Jess and the kids walk in.  I look at Tess, she laughs.  Ben tells Steve Tracy just left.  "Heard."  Is all he says.  Te Jess goes to Kate and hugs her.

"Jessie handled it."  My dad says.  They look at him.  Ben and Kate are smiling.

"Told her it's time to move on.  She did."  He says.  Fuckin Dad.  I laugh, Patches joins me then Ben and Kate.  Steve looks at us and nods.  Little Ben says Merry Christmas and he needs to check on his Brother.

"Fuckin kids."  All the guys say.  The women roll their eyes.

Ben comes over to Tess.  "You told him so he wasn't hurt?"

She looks right at him.  "Yes.  I told him she was coming.  I didn't give him details.  Nothing bad was going to happen, it was just so sad.  I saw what happened after I told him.  It changed but didn't change the sad.  You stayed calm with Kate and Danny's strong and Jessie got strong from all of us.  I'm sorry I didn't tell you but no one was in danger and I promised him."

"If I would have known he wouldn't have handled it.  He needed to do that."  She nods.  "This is going to happen a lot with you.  Promise you will never shield us alone.  If there is any danger you have to promise to tell someone so they can help you decide what's right.  I would suggest Peg or, if Sally is staying, Sally.  Can you make that promise to me?"

"Oh yes.  Sally is staying and she's going to help me."  She says so matter of fact I crack up.  Ben smiles and nods then kisses her head.

"Fuckin Tess."  Everyone laughs.

Tiny, Nancy and Sandy come in.  Then Rob, Digs and Bob.  Then Amanda and Penny.  Fuck, it's getting bigger every year.  The guys go to the garage to see the bikes Ben and my dad got.  I've seen them they are fuckin Badass as it gets.

Tess has been calm the rest of the day.  Patches is happy.  I watch them play with the kids from the doorway.  Fuckin beautiful.  Kate wraps her arms around me.  "She's so happy Rich.  You and Patches are happy; you're perfect for each other."

I take my arm down from the frame and hug her to me.  "Thank you.  You're so happy you glow Kate."  She pulls me down by my shirt.  "I'm pregnant."  She whispers.  Oh fuck!

I pick her up spinning her around.  She covers her mouth.  Shit!  "Sorry.  I got carried away."  She takes a breath and laughs.  "Is it a secret?"  She nods telling me for now.  She needs to see a doctor to confirm.  I just look at her.  It hits me and I look at Tess, she smiles nodding and signs 'girl'.  "Fuckin Tess."  I laugh.  I get another sister.  Ally is going to be over the moon.  "Do they know?"

She shakes her head no.  "One year ago next week we've been together.  I'm waiting.  I was hoping you'd take the kids so I can tell them."

I hug her, “Of course.  I'm so fuckin happy Kate.  Thank you for bringing us all together.  You're the best fuckin mother ever."  She cries.  Ben comes to her.  He looks like he's ready to rip my fuckin head off.  I crack up.  "Just told her she is the best mom."  He melts holding her to his chest.  My dad’s smiling, I tell him "Happy tears.  Ben needs a fuckin book."  He nods, all the guys laugh.

"So what."  Ben says.  I laugh harder.  Fuckin Ben.  I need to get Penny on ‘So What’ shirts.