Negotiate
? “What about what I wa—”
Jason cut her off again. “Then may the best man win.” He raised his chin.
Gregory nodded and stalked away, evidently set on composing some kind of battle plan. Haley stood there, too shocked to do or say anything.
“I can’t believe you let him show you off like that,” Jason growled at her. He shook his head.
Haley took a deep breath. “I enjoy being shown off, Jason. That’s something you’ve yet to understand.” It was part of the reason she liked Gregory so much. He loved showing her off in all types of situations.
Jason just shook his head again and spun on his heel. Haley stood there, not knowing if or whom she should pursue.
Margot rushed over, her bare boobs bouncing. “They just announced you won the costume contest, Haley. You need to go get your prize.”
Haley blinked at her friend. “What?”
“The prize,” Margot repeated.
Haley glanced up at the stage and realized all the eyes in the audience were on her.
Oh great
.
Margot retreated to her dom, and Haley watched as he enveloped her in his arms. She wanted that for herself but didn’t feel like she’d ever attain it. At least, not with one man.
She scanned the crowd, looking for either Jason or Gregory. She could find neither. Reluctantly Haley walked up to the stage and accepted her prize. She felt numb as she took it from Lady Corneille, and she left as quickly as she could, even in the face of all the cheering and shouts. She made a beeline for the exit.
The moist Louisiana night air rushed over her body. She looked up at the waning moon, just a few days this side of full, through the branches of an oak tree. She took a deep breath and fought back tears.
Everything’s ruined
. Sure, they wanted to fight over her, but that was not what she wanted. She wanted both. Haley didn’t dare imagine what life would have been like with both men in it, knowing each other, working off each other. For a moment, the idea sent a shiver of desire through her, but reality quickly quelled it. That would clearly never happen now. Had she only told them…
But Haley could have no time for regrets. Best to move on, forget about them.
But could she?
She headed down the street to her borrowed car. She didn’t often drive the art car—an old Buick that an artist friend had covered in a mosaic of Mardi Gras beads portraying the stations of the cross. Adorning the hood—in the vibrant metallic colors of plastic beads—was the Crucifixion. The vehicle was huge, cumbersome, completely unsuited to New Orleans’s narrow streets, and drew people’s attention, but the air conditioner worked. Her friend had left it for her for the summer when he went north to pick crops. She climbed in and stared down the street, debating whether she really wanted to go back to her empty house. Inside the hall she could find some distraction, but she decided she didn’t feel into the whole thing anymore. Her reason for being into it at all was gone. She started up the car, turned the radio up, and drove off toward home.
* * *
Haley snapped shut her cell phone, slipped it in her pocket, and put on her sunglasses. Margot wanted to meet for coffee in fifteen minutes; Margot absolutely needed to dish about what went on the night before. Haley wasn’t sure she felt like talking about it, particularly with Margot in her recent overly bubbly state.
She decided to walk to the coffee shop. It was a few blocks away, but she could use the time to clear her head and get her blood pumping. After last night, her mind still raced, playing through scenarios of what she should have said or done. Both Gregory’s and Jason’s faces would float up and shout condemning things at her, phrases they’d never actually say in real life, but ones Haley had no trouble fabricating. She’d ruined two good things last night and had no one to blame but herself.
She passed Markey Park and listened to the kids playing on the jungle gym and the dogs chasing each other and yapping on the baseball field. It really was a beautiful Sunday morning—or early afternoon, she corrected herself.
She crossed the railroad tracks and passed the grocery store and the abandoned house that looked like it could fall forward onto the sidewalk at any moment. She found Margot sitting in one of the café’s chairs on the sidewalk, a brown shopping bag at her feet and two iced mochas already on the table.
Haley sat down and helped herself to one of the drinks. She took a long sip, then looked across the table at Margot.
“Night didn’t end so well for you, huh?” Margot asked.
Haley shook her head and took a deep breath. “I’d had so much fun too. What a drag.” But “drag” didn’t even begin to cover it. She still fought tears at the thought she could never be with her men again. She wanted to talk to Margot about it, but she didn’t know where to begin. To an outsider, Haley had two-timed Gregory and Jason. Was there any way to make it look rosier than that? Probably not. She was the villain here. She'd played two guys to cater to her own selfishness.
Margot leaned over and pushed the paper bag toward Haley. “Your clothes and things are in there. You left them behind.”
“Thanks.” Haley wished she knew how to ask for help.
“I don’t think you should give up on either of those guys,” Margot said as if Haley had requested advice already. Haley breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe her friend did know how to help. “I mean, I talked to Jason after you left, and he—”
Haley raised her eyebrows. “I thought he’d left before me.” Was there some hope of recovering here?
“Well, I guess he came back for you or something.” She leaned in conspiratorially. “I think I may have convinced him to give you another chance.”
Haley knew he’d give her another chance. Problem was, she didn’t want him alone, and how did you tell someone nicely that he just wasn’t enough? Obviously she hadn’t gotten it right last night, and clearly Margot didn’t understand what she wanted. Haley didn’t know how to tell her. “You shouldn’t have bothered. It’s over. I blew it.”
“But you could—”
Haley held up a hand as she took another sip of the mocha. Margot couldn’t possibly know her frame of mind right now. She’d turned quite monogamous with her new guy. Haley thought back to a party they’d both attended just a couple of weeks ago, before Margot had met Maxwell. She’d had strangers fuck her while strapped to a cross. Even Haley had never been that submissive. Margot was clearly not the person to ask for advice on this particular topic. She set her cup down and said, “Drop it.”
Margot seemed to deflate. “If you say so.” But then she smiled. “Maxwell asked me to move in with him.”
Haley felt her eyes go wide. Doesn’t that just figure?
As soon as Margot gets her life together, mine falls apart
. “Isn’t that a little fast?”
“I don’t think so.”
Haley finished her mocha, picked up the shopping bag with her things in it, and stood. “Thanks for bringing my stuff anyway.” She turned away and started trudging back down the street, not even waiting for Margot to reply. Haley felt happy for her friend, but she needed some time to herself right now. After all, two good relationships had ended the night before. If she could call them relationships. But she’d felt so tied to those men, even if she didn’t go to the movies with them or clean the kitchen together. Losing two men… Wasn’t that worse than just one? Shouldn’t she feel twice as upset as someone who only loved one person?
Love?
That’s not what it was, Haley told herself. Of course, both men possessed many things to love about them, but she didn’t really love
them
, did she?
If not, then why the sting and the heavy feeling behind her breastbone?
Chapter Two
Haley awoke Friday morning to the sound of her cell phone ringing. She groaned. Neither Jason nor Gregory had called her since Tuesday or Wednesday, but she immediately worried that one at least had reignited the onslaught. She reached over, took her phone off the bedside table, and read the screen. Cyn’s number. She flipped the phone open.
“Hey, Cynthia.” Haley had met Cyn through Gregory, and they’d grown to be friends.
“We’re picking you up at four.”
“What?”
“To go to Mossy Oaks.”
Haley shook her head, then said, “No, I couldn’t possibly.” She could keep herself nicely wrapped up in her work this weekend. No distractions. Besides, she’d never gone there without Gregory. She wouldn’t know what to do to fill the time.
“It’s okay. I know what happened, and Todd told me Gregory’s out of town on business this weekend, so he won’t be coming. I just want you to come along to get out of the house. Maybe we can find some time for girl talk.” She paused. “I already called Hank Guidry, and he can’t wait to see you.”
Haley loved Mr. Guidry; she didn’t want to disappoint the owner of the plantation, and Haley knew Cyn had some threesome experience. Maybe she could get advice on how to proceed with her own problem. “Oh, okay. That would be great, then.”
“Good. Now don’t be late. You know how Todd is.”
She knew exactly how Todd was, and the last thing she wanted to do was start the trip with him ticked off. “Okay.” Haley clicked the phone shut and dropped it on the bed. She sighed. She could definitely use a weekend away, but she didn’t know if she wanted to spend two hours in the car with Todd. She liked Cyn fine, but he had a habit of correcting everybody, and he’d always start in with “Ac…tually,” with a long pause and then rushing down the rest of the words as he got on a roll, rattling off statistics or facts.
Got to pack the MP3 player
. Haley sat up and climbed out of bed. She’d have plenty of work to do at the studio before she could leave town.
She wrapped her robe around her body and headed toward the kitchen. Her new roommate, Gel, was standing at the stove frying an egg.
“Morning,” she said.
He turned and offered her a big smile and a wave of his spatula. “How’s my girl this morning?”
Not yet ready to engage in conversation, she smiled and shuffled on toward the bathroom.
How am I anyway
? She didn’t know. She heard Gel humming as she turned on the shower. She was glad she had a place to offer him when his old landlord had raised the rent last week. He did lean toward being a melodramatic queen at times, but he was always there for her too.
Haley stepped into the tub and let the cold water shock her into full wakefulness. Then she leaned over and turned on a little hot water. She appreciated the heat more after the jolt of cold.
She looked down the length of her body. She certainly could tell that it had been nearly a week since she’d had a partner. Only last Saturday, she’d strutted proudly on the stage, showing off for everyone, proud of her owner at the show, and now…
Well, now she wasn’t suitable to show off for anything.
I need a nice shave
. She’d been so busy all week working on the
Madame Butterfly
costumes that she hadn’t taken the time for a proper shower. She lathered soap up and down both legs and across her mound, then quickly and deftly drew her razor over most of the lower half of her body, rinsing the blade frequently.
When she finished, she ran her hand over the renewed smoothness of her pussy. She didn’t really shave it for the men in her life. She did it for herself. She liked the way it felt when…
She slipped a finger into her smooth folds, relishing in the slickness that came only right after a shave.
She dived her finger in and out, then circled it around her clit. Haley balanced one foot on the edge of the claw-foot tub in order to give herself better access. With her left hand, she pulled and tweaked at her left nipple and tapped the piercing she had there.
Then something occurred to her.
Jason’s
and
Gregory’s faces swam into her vision. She imagined Jason beneath her as she faced up toward Gregory. She reached her left hand down, then around her ass, and fingered her puckered rear entry. She’d played with it plenty—as had others—but what would it feel like to have real live cocks in both holes?
She insinuated one finger slowly as she worked the fingers of her right hand into her pussy. She thought about Jason’s slim, long cock taking her from behind, how he’d drive into her—issuing commands as he did, making sure her attention never wavered—how he’d play with her nipple piercings as Gregory—propped up on his strong, large arms—towered above both of them, thrusting into her cunt.
Gregory may be bigger, but he’d treat her gently. He’d quietly correct her, guide her position with his large hands…
Oh God, I want
both
of them!
The combined sensations—and the terrible realization of her fantasy here in her mind—shot to her womb, causing her to come in no time.
Feeling slightly less tense than she had all week, she rinsed off and grabbed a towel. But as she dried off, melancholy replaced her momentary satisfaction. She could never have both of them. They would never go for it. And could she ever find two men as perfect as Gregory and Jason? That she had such a base, instinctual connection with? Probably not.
* * *
By three forty-five, Haley sat on her stoop, waiting for Todd and Cyn. A small duffel bag rested at her feet. She hadn’t packed much, particularly in regard to play gear. Would they think her unsocial? Probably, but right now she needed some time on her own. It certainly didn’t help that Gel was around the house, and while she could spend more time at the studio, the other artists, designers, and visitors always poked their heads in the door. It seemed no location would meet her needs, and she had to choose the lesser of the evils.
Across the street, an old man and woman walked arm in arm. Haley watched them and sighed. She wondered if she’d ever have that. She imagined herself—tattoos and piercings and all—in fifty years, on the arm of an equally old man. She just couldn’t see it. She couldn’t envision herself with one man.
But who could she see herself with? Could she even look at fifty years and see anything? She ran through her list of friends in her mind, her exes, her platonic friends—both male and female. No one person could give her what she needed. She closed her eyes and tried to picture an older version of Jason and an older version of Gregory, one on each side, helping a graying and bent Haley down the street.