Oral Sex for Every Body: Giving and Receiving for Men and Women (7 page)

Short Cut. This consists in cutting the pubes short for comfort, hygiene, and esthetics.

Contour Cut. A really close shave. Undies are getting skimpier, and we must adapt!

Brazilian. This is a complete removal of hair, very popular in erotic films.

Shapes. One can employ any myriad of geometric shapes.

Before beginning pubic or genital depilation (either male or female), you must keep in mind that this is a very sensitive area, unaccustomed to razor irritation. If you wish to avoid the nuisances associated with “intimate depilation,” it is best to remove the hair gradually.

To start, remove some hair every day, over the course of a week, with a pair of small, sharp scissors. The idea is that the skin of the area will become used to the shearing and not become irritated. If you notice any stinging or chaffing, stop cutting and wait until the annoyance subsides.

When you decide to go ahead with a pubic shave, first give the area a good shower with warm water. This way you will soften the hair and facilitate cutting it with the razor. Speaking of razors, always choose models with a swiveling head and use a new one each time that you shave yourself. Do it at night or when you don’t intend to leave home. This way you can dress yourself in something baggy and comfortable and avoid your clothes rubbing the area for several hours.

To depilate the pubis, apply abundant shaving cream and pull the skin with one hand, as you shave with the other. Take your time on the first pass, slowly going in the direction of the hairs (usually downwards).

Before you return for a second pass with the razor over the area not completely shaved, apply more shaving cream. Once you’ve finished, apply lotion or cream.

If you prefer to go to a salon which specializes in this type of hair removal, the most common depilation techniques for this most intimate area are:

Traditional Method. Done with hair-removal wax at low temperature. This is the most sought-after method.

Sugar and Lemon Amalgam. This is done using an ancient Egyptian technique that doesn’t cause nicks or bruising. It is best for sensitive skins.

Laser. This method is used when one wishes to avoid the possibility of nicking sensitive mucosal tissue with a razor. Its advantage is longer-lasting depilation compared to the above-mentioned methods and, to a large extent, the pubic hairs do not re-grow. It is recommended for deep depilation or for decorative depilation where precision is required. It is the most expensive of the methods.

Clitoral Hood. The clitoral hood corresponds to the foreskin of the penis of a man and is formed by the joining of the labia majora and labia minora of the vulva. Its function is to protect the glans and shaft of the clitoris. It is arrayed with sebaceous glands which make it shiny and allow it to easily slide over the glans, so as to allow constant stimulation without irritation during coitus.

This organ varies in size among women and is one of the most erogenous and pleasure-inducing zones available to a session of oral sex. The act of licking the hood, and withdrawing it gently to stimulate the clitoral glans, is usually extremely exciting for the majority of women. The best way to do this is to separate the lips, or lift the mons pubic.

Outer Lips. The outer or “big” lips are two fleshy folds which cover and protect the most delicate parts of the vulva. The outer face is covered with hair and the inner side is shiny. During sex, the lips swell and become red, due to the concentration of blood in this area.

Inner Lips. The inner or “little” lips are also two fleshy folds situated within the outer lips. They surround the clitoris and vaginal opening. They join at the top of the vulva and form the prepuce or hood of the clitoris.

The inner lips are extremely sensitive and vary in size and shape for each woman, so much so that it can be said the labia minora are as personal as a woman’s fingerprints.

Being formed of spongy, erectile tissue, the little lips become excited and swell during the sex act. The structures of the little lips change greatly throughout the phases, from excitation to restoration; above all, they change in size and color. They are not excessively sensitive, but their elasticity allows the inner parts of the clitoris to expand outwards when they are filled with blood.

Clitoris: That Great Unknown. Up to this point in time, it seems impossible, but many men still do not know the anatomy, function, and way to stimulate this little button of feminine pleasure. It is a hooded structure, formed of erectile tissue, which acts like a big sponge and fills with blood when it is excited. In this regard, it acts just like the penis and grows in size. Stimulated, the visible part of the clitoris grows to three times its normal size. Its normal length is approximately one quarter-inch (7.5 mm), but most of it is hidden within the body. The most visible part is a rosy glans, small and smooth, and covered with a hood of skin.

The clitoris contains six thousand to eight thousand nerve endings, the same number as in the penis, charged with producing sexual pleasure in a woman. As such, we are talking about an area of high sensitivity and a structure with

the greatest concentration of nerve endings in the body. It is joined to the labia minora of the vulva and is partially covered by them. In fact, only the prepuce and glans of the clitoris are visible, being found at the top part of the little lips, and which form scarcely a tenth of its size.

The visible part of the clitoris begins at a point where the big lips join, at the base of the Mount of Venus, and continues into a protuberance named the glans. The surface of the glans is covered with a hood whose function is to protect it from over-stimulation and irritation. For its part, the hood is joined with the glans underneath the skin.

The term “clitoris” comes from the Greek “kleitoris,” which means “little mountain,” and it is the only organ whose sole function is to provide sexual pleasure, pleasure which is the result of either manual or oral stimulation, as well as penetration. Let’s take a moment to consider this point. For many women, stimulation of the clitoris by means of penetration alone proves to be insufficient. According to studies conducted by Shere Hite (Hite Report on Female Sexuality), 30 percent of women who have orgasms during coitus have them due to direct or indirect stimulation of the clitoris, and not to penetration alone.

In other words, every woman is different and has her own needs for stimulation of the clitoris. So, while some prefer firm pressure, there are others who melt with pleasure from the simplest of rubs, or rapid tapping. Some get excited when their lover licks or sucks their clitoris, while there are others who go wild when the penis presses it. In addition, there are different reactions of the clitoris after orgasm. With some women, it is necessary to wait a while before being able to

touch it again. With others, you can start right away to stimulate it for a new climax, even several more times. In this case, it can happen that the sensations become even more intense with each succeeding orgasm.

Vaginal Opening. Located under the urethral opening, it is the beginning of a cylindrical tube, namely the vagina, which extends from the vulva to the neck of the womb.

The vagina’s walls are muscular and covered with a mucosal lining, being very elastic and readily lubricated. The most erogenous areas are situated near the vaginal opening. Due to its inherent pliability (it can open and close, allow entry or stop it, depending on the level of its excitation), oral sex is very pleasurable in this area. Stimulating the perineum while engaging in oral sex is extremely enjoyable.

The Perineum. Not far from the clitoris and pubic mound is one of the most erotogenic areas of the female genitals. It is a strip of muscular tissue situated between the vulva and anus. Its principal function is to support the organs housed in the pelvic cavity.

Though less sensitive than the clitoris, this area near the anus proves to be very erotic in some women, responding very readily to finger pressure or circular strokes. With oral stimulation, it is very pleasurable to run the tip of the tongue over the perineum while gently pressing the muscle with fingers. If your lover rests his hand over this area with the external lips of the vagina closed, and presses it vigorously or massages it, he can quickly excite you, due to the dense network of nerve endings which are gathered there.

The big secret of oral sex on a woman, cunnilingus, is tenderness, a delicate touch, and rhythm. We’ve already noted that women need foreplay, those preliminaries which little by little wake up desire and excitement. Female sexual response is slower than a male’s. And therein lies the big mistake of men. It’s just the way they think; they go full speed ahead, even sometimes roughly, turning oral sex into a clumsy and rushed affair. Again we insist: have your guy read the earlier chapters that deal with foreplay; the kisses, caresses, sensual massage, etc.

THE ART OF KISSING

Lips are extremely sensitive and erogenous, so much so that a good kissing session is the best way to “get her motor started.” It’s advisable to start sensuously, slowly, with lips half-open. Press them lightly against those of your lover (they will fit together better if you put either your partner’s upper or lower lip between yours). Kiss long, sweetly, savoring the moment. Little by little, separate your lips and let the point of your tongue begin to gently explore inside your lover’s mouth. Wait until both tongues meet, then let them entwine. Withdraw your tongue slowly and lick your partner’s lower lip, softly.

It’s usually just about now that his hands go straight for the breasts or, even worse, the genitals. What’s the rush? We’re just getting started, so don’t spoil it with your uncontrolled nervousness!

Take time to affectionately stroke her hair, her face, and her skin. Whisper to her how much you want her, how she excites you, and how you are going to make her melt with pleasure.

Let your imagination go; show her she is about to experience intense sensations she’s never had before.

Go down her neck, kissing, licking, and nibbling it softly. And don’t be ashamed when it comes time to ask her what she likes, what she wants; just don’t make a big deal about it. And don’t forget that you have a fantastic pair of hands and arms. Kisses paired with hugs and gentle strokes are much more exciting and seductive.

Now it’s time to go down the sides of her neck (be careful not to tickle her) and start stimulating her breasts. Do this without abrupt movements, with all the delicacy and care you muster. You are not kneading bread. Forget about pinches and nibbling here. The breasts are very sensitive; your warm breath alone can excite them. Cover the breasts with light kisses and licks, but don’t touch the nipples yet. Move your tongue in spirals, moving closer to the nipples with each successive pass.

To stimulate the female breasts, you can choose among the following techniques:

Hot Breath. Before touching her nipples, blow on them with your hot breath, but don’t even brush against them.

The Whirlpool. Move the tip of your tongue around the areola of her nipple, like a whirlpool, moving closer and closer to its tip. Start very slowly, increasing the rate of the swirls as you go along.

Trembling Tongue. Vibrate your tongue back and forth over her nipple. Start slowly, and then pick up the pace.

Suction. Gently, bring the nipple to your open mouth. Suck it; rub it with your tongue and lips. Squeeze it between your tongue and palate.

Suction and Whirlpool. Using suction to hold the nipple inside your mouth, move your tongue around the nipple in a swirling motion. Start slowly and increase the speed as you go along.

Nibbling. Nibble her nipple very gently. Don’t do this for too long; the nipples are super delicate.

Simply Edible. Take the nipple into your mouth, as far as you can, including as much of the breast as possible. Tenderly rub your tongue all around, pressing the nipple and breast against your palate.

A Fresh Breath. Finish by blowing on her moist nipples, giving them a pleasant, cool sensation. You can also use an ice cube held between your lips, running over her nipples as you softly massage the sides of her back.

CUNNILINGUS: ONWARD TO THE GRAND TREASURE!

At this point, your lady’s level of excitement will be very high. But don’t let yourself get carried away, not yet anyway. Go downwards slowly, covering her entire abdomen with kisses and caresses.

Next stop: the navel. Play with it; put your tongue inside, but just be careful not to tickle her; this is a very sensitive zone. At this point, you have two choices. You can go down to her

thighs (don’t even think about touching her genitals), or ask her to turn over so you can stimulate one of the body’s most forgotten areas during sex: the back. Go over her spinal column from top to bottom with your fingertips, tongue, and lips, eventually reaching her butt (for many women one of the most erotic areas of their body). You can even be a little bit rough with her here with your massages and sucking (just be sure not to be too rough).

Forget her anus, for the moment. Leave it for later. Run your tongue along the crack of her butt while you softly massage her inner thighs. Let your warm breath approach her vagina, but don’t touch her there yet.

Another erogenous zone that is relatively unknown is the backside of the knees. Run your tongue over them (this can cause considerable tickling) and then go down to her feet. Ask her or gently motion for her to turn over, face up.

Open her thighs and use your thumbs to separate the big lips of her vagina. Remember, the key to providing maximum excitation with cunnilingus is to make sure the clitoris and vulva are sufficiently lubricated before you start to stimulate them. Moisten your tongue and lips with saliva (you can also dab some on her sensitive area) and start kissing and sucking the lips of her vagina. Go over them with your tongue; lick them and play with them.

When this area is sufficiently lubricated and excited, begin to caress her clitoris with the end of your tongue (many men jump right on the clitoris without thought or previous preparation: a big mistake!). Press the glans with the tip of your tongue and use the tongue to go around it.

If you want to really boost the stimulation, try raising your girl’s legs (grasp her thighs and move her legs so they rest on your shoulders). Next, softly lick her vulva and then press up on her rump so you can sink your tongue into her vagina. In this position, the man can deeply stimulate his partner’s clitoris.

The key to successful cunnilingus is to start slowly, gently stimulating the area, and increasing the rhythm little by little. Each series of movements/stimulation should last about ten seconds: five seconds of licking a specific area, and then five seconds over the whole vagina itself. Use your fingers to elevate the Mount of Venus with each lick (this way the vestibule of the vagina will contract and the lips will move closer together) and release it when your tongue rests on the vulva.

Breathe all over her vulva and begin to caress the outer lips with the point of your tongue. Make long passes, soft and sustained. Remember you must start slowly and only then gradually increase your rhythm. Bit by bit, move your tongue closer to the clitoris, softly licking her little lips. Keeping your mouth slightly open on her vulva, make little circles around the clitoris with your tongue.

With your fingers, retract the hood of the clitoris (only if it’s sufficiently aroused) so you can stimulate it directly. You are in the most sensitive area, so be very careful with your movements and use only the tip of your tongue to stimulate it. You can even stop a while, letting her continue her rhythmic movements, and find the points that cause her the most excitement when they are stimulated.

Cunnilingus is not limited to using the tongue alone. Sink your face between her legs, exhale your breath on her, and hide your nose in her Venus Mount. Then rest your upper lip and mustache area on the edge of her sacrum.

Continue moving the point of your tongue back and forth over your lover’s clit. Start slowly, and gradually pick up the pace until you arrive at the velocity which excites her most.

Let her clitoris rest a bit, and introduce your tongue into her vagina. This is about penetrating as deeply as you can and keeping your mouth in constant contact with her. Go back to stimulating her clitoris, but this time suck it and rub it with tongue, lips, and mouth.

Don’t forget to use your hands and fingers. During cunnilingus you can also softly massage her butt, rub her inner thighs, stimulate her perineum and anus, etc.

And now the great, golden rule: keep up rhythmic stimulation, without stopping, until she explodes in pleasure. You’ll know she’s about to orgasm when her body tenses. This is the way to make sure she keeps on the road to climax!

THE BEST TECHNIQUES

Can you move your tongue in circles? Good. Can you move it up and down and sideways? Perfect. Can you speed up and slow down the rhythm? Incredible! Could you draw a “figure eight” with your tongue tip? If you can perform all these movements, your partner is in luck because you are ready for the following techniques: