But how it’s blended can mean all the difference between racing hearts—and raging heartburn.
So what’s the best recipe for mixing the most potent passion cocktail? Easy! Tweak the ingredients. Add new spice. Leave out the bitters. Pop a cherry on top. Then shake well, pour with pride, open wide—and down you go!
Let’s Get Physical
Are your best efforts in the sack producing hot’n’heavy breathing —or is that just a lot of huffing and puffing?
Whatever you do in life, you do it better when you’re fit and healthy. That’s especially true in lovemaking—a natural heart-pumping, lung-expanding, pore-opening workout. But is sex your only physical activity? C’mon! That eager person in bed with you is your lover—not your personal trainer!
Try using that free sidewalk outside your door for a brisk 20-minute walk every day. Or hop on a bicycle. Or join a gym. Even better, join a gym with your lover. You’ll look great. You’ll feel great. And you’ll feel great to each other.
What’s more, once you start exercising, the pleasure and intensity of your orgasms often get healthier, too. You’d think they’d print THAT on fitness center billboards!
Scoring Sex Etiquette Points
No one ever teaches you the finer points of sex etiquette. You either know it—or a disappointed lover lets you have it.
You can avoid this senseless humiliation by remembering and practicing Dr. Sadie’s Golden Rule of Sexual Passion:
Do others as you would have them do you.
Please read that again…slowly.
Being a good lover is easier than many people realize, because the secret is as much about giving good orgasms as it is about everything that comes before and after, too. For instance…
Clean up. Natural pheromone-y body scent is arousing; sweaty funk is not. Try to shower close to sex time, lathering up well in every crevice. Short on time? Spritz your pits with deodorant or try a light body spray. Don’t forget to brush your teeth, and rinse with a minty mouthwash.
Wash up. Dirty fingers don’t belong in intimate areas. Wash your hands thoroughly with hot soapy water, file your nails smooth, and don’t play with the dog on the way into the bedroom!
Groom up. Are you growing a pubic jungle? Whether you’re a trimmer, shape-shaver, clean-shaver, or somewhere in between, grooming minimizes trapped odors and looks stylish, too.
Spritz up. Lightly scented perfumes and colognes can be a turn on—but too much tastes bad and can actually give your lover a headache.
Cowgirls Only!
How To Score Etiquette Points With Him
Be penis friendly. He’s up for any attention—except icy-cold hands, jagged fingernails, hard dry-jerking, sharp teeth-scraping, zipper sideswiping, and hearing unfavorable comparisons to your ex-lovers!
Ease up on yourself. Try being less preoccupied with your not-so-perfect magazine-model body. After all, he isn’t thinking about the size of your thighs—he’s thinking about how good he’ll feel inside you.
Be snag-free. The sensation of your jewelry against his skin can be a real turn-on. The exposed hooks and clasps that can snag and yank pubic hairs will be a real turn-off. Be careful!
Open your mouth. How will he know what you want if you don’t tell him? (And he does want to know!) Just don’t blurt it out like you’re ordering a double latte—whisper it seductively into his ear, and seal it with a hot, wet, tongue-tip finish.
Cowboys Only!
Etiquette Points Count Toward Fabulous Prizes!
Shave yer shadow. Your manly five o’clock stubble can feel like needles on your lover’s face, breasts, thighs and especially her vulva. Don’t risk irritating her. Slip a new blade in your razor and get as close as a man can get.
Explore. How does she like your touch: fast or slow, hard or deep, teasing or NOW? Spend more time getting to know her and show her you care—and feel the heat of passion come right back to you.
Don’t rush. It’s a scientific fact: a woman’s body takes longer to warm up for intercourse than yours will. Spend more time exciting her body, and she’ll reward you by spending more time exciting yours.
Hold yer horses. Resist the urge to place—or wrestle—her reluctant hand onto your burning crotch. She detests that almost as much as having her head shoved you know where….
Cure your EDS. That’s Eager Dick Syndrome, where a huge, throbbing penis due out in the middle of the Second Act makes its grand entrance as the curtain rises. Keep it in your pants, Romeo, and savor the foreplay. She knows where it is.
Juice up. Nothing dampens a woman’s mood more than premature, painful ramming with a dry finger or unlubricated penis. Start her juices flowing with your best foreplay, and slather on saliva or slippery sex lube before trying to insert anything.
Angle in. The delicate entrance to her vagina is not a funnel. Aim carefully when entering, and glide inside along the same angle as her vagina to avoid uncomfortable sideline poking—as well as keep you from slipping into the wrong orifice!
Dr. Sadie Sez: Are You Havin’ A Laugh?
During sex, you’re naked in more ways than one. You can greet the occasional slip-out, leg cramp, eye-poke, poot or queef with a grimace—or simply laugh it off together and continue on.
Don’t squash. No matter how strong she may be, she shouldn’t have to bench-press you! Spread your body weight across your knees, arms and elbows—not her chest. You want her to keep breathing, right?
Cowgirls & Cowboys!
Brighten Your Passion Picture
The big strokes of sex are easy—anyone can do them. But true passion is revealed in the fine strokes that turn lovemaking into an art. So which are you—a paint-by-the-numbers wannabe, or an original world-class artiste?
Kiss. Why not spend more time enjoying some of the best sensations of sex? Savor all the heat you generate through deep, wet, soulful mouth-to-mouth kissing. Are you listening, longtime lovers?
Touch. You already own a pair of the world’s best sextoys: your hands! Each set includes 10 warm, eager fingers ready to caress, stroke, pinch, spank, tease, squeeze and please. No batteries required!
See. Look into your lover’s eyes and you gaze into your lover’s soul. Keep your eyes locked during orgasm, and share this most intimate moment with your partner.
Listen. The sounds of lovemaking are cues to your partner’s state of arousal. Hot panting? Sensual moaning? Erotic screaming? Keep doing what you’re doing. Sighing? Whining? Snoring? Try something else.
Talk. Not about the weather—but about how turned on you are. Intimate talk during sex feels excitingly naughty, and can send your passions over the edge.
Ask. “Does this feel good?” or “Do you like when I do this?” or “What would you like to try next?” Ask an exciting question and get an exciting answer.
Tease. If you build sexual anticipation, you’ll raise your lover’s urgency for wilder sexual release. Try teasing before lovemaking, and feel new desires welling up deep inside.
Give. When you’re a generous lover, you think of your partner’s pleasure before your own. When both of you are generous, the passion comes back to each of you, surging stronger with every lusty touch.
Savor. Be patient! This isn’t a race. Live in the moment. Try going in slow motion for a while before passions naturally speed things into a heated sexual frenzy.
An orgasm is an orgasm, right? Sure. And ice cream only comes in one flavor!
If you’ve “come” more than once in your life, you know how each orgasm can vary in intensity, character and duration. Climaxes often feel stronger when you’re horny, softer when you’re tired, and off-the-charts when you’re tipsy, turned-on or crazy-in-love.
But what if you could supercharge ALL your orgasms? You’d not only amp up pleasure, you’d also lower your stress, burn more calories, ease menstrual cramps and enjoy deeper sleep—as well as plant an unwipeable smile on your face all day long.
This miracle is known as the mind/body connection—which simply means learning to be more in tune with yourself. And it all starts by knowing which sex organ is the biggest and most powerful.
The answer: your brain.
Cowgirls Only!
Are You Pre-Orgasmic?
Since most guys can orgasm in their sleep, this section is for every woman who has yet to orgasm, or would love to enhance orgasmic bliss.
You do have the natural ability to orgasm—most every woman does. If you think you might have orgasmed, you probably haven’t. If you can only orgasm on your own, but not with your partner, that doesn’t mean you won’t. There’s lots of good news up ahead for you.
First, what is an orgasm, exactly? It’s the climactic release of rising sexual excitement that you feel as a series of intensely euphoric and totally involuntary rhythmic pulsations throughout your vagina, uterus and rectum that can last as long or longer than it took you to read this entire sentence. And the next five words will actually help you experience them to the fullest: teach yourself by touching yourself.
Dr. Sadie Sez: Be In The Here And Wow.
It’s hard to come when you’re thinking about who’s coming for dinner tomorrow. As tough as it might be, cast off your ongoing worries and stresses, no matter how often they creep in. Instead, savor The Moment. The scents. Sights. Sounds. Touch. Textures. Fantasy. Your lover’s rising passion. And your own. Glorious orgasms await you…and are the best stress relievers in the world.
It’s Okay To Get In Touch With Yourself
Universally endorsed by physicians and sex therapists—as well as orgasmic women around the world, gentle masturbation is the key to strengthening your mind/body connection, while opening up a new world of pleasure, excitement and well-being.
Here’s the secret: Start by turning off the phones, tuning out your day, and maybe even drawing a hot, soothing bubble bath. Think sexy thoughts, perhaps about your lover, an old crush, a hunky movie star or even a forbidden acquaintance. Moisten a soft fingertip (or three!) with a few drops of slippery sex lubricant, then gently caress your clitoris while you squeeze your pelvic muscles in harmony with your fingertip motion. Vary your pressure, rhythm and touching styles till you find what feels best—then keep going. Now revel in all your satisfying feelings without straying from your lusty thoughts and fantasies.
It’s okay if you don’t orgasm for awhile—just get to know yourself by learning your private pleasure spots and discovering which stroking styles turn you on. Or try a small waterproof vibrator and feel it lift your pleasures! They’re well-known for setting off countless first orgasms.
Once you experience your first glorious orgasm, you can now share your discovery with your lover, gently guiding his fingertips to the sensual new joys you’ve uncovered. For a complete guide on female masturbation techniques, send for a copy of Tickle Your Fancy—A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Self-Pleasure, available in total confidence at ticklekitty.com.
If you are already orgasmic on your own, but not with your lover, try sharing the rest of this chapter with him, along with some of the delightful position variations throughout this book, and help him create the erotic clitoral contact you love during intercourse.
Dr. Sadie Sez: Rub-A-Dub-Tub.
One of the most popular ways women learn to achieve their first orgasm is in the tub. Place your hips under the flow of warm water for clitoral pleasures, or aim a jet of warm water from a handheld showerhead to open up to pleasureful sensations.
Cowgirls Only!
The Male Orgasm Menu
Understanding your partner’s orgasm is one sign of a generous lover, and knowing how to supercharge it is yet another. Did you know your guy can experience two different kinds of orgasms?
Penis Os. The most widely known male orgasm is triggered at the top of the penis, where thousands of erotic nerves cluster at the head. To bring out the most pleasure, treat this area to your most sensual rhythmic friction at the pace he desires, along with some deliciously slippery wetness.
Prostate Os. The alternate male orgasm trigger is his prostate gland, located behind the base of the penis, and reachable through his anus. The best sensations are achieved with direct stimulation using a finger or sextoy, together with heavenly penis stimulation from your hand and mouth. See more in chapter 12.
Cowboys Only!
The Art Of The Female Orgasm
Imagine your lover’s soft, warm, slippery fingers giving you a world-class handjob, but only to the bottom half of your penis.
How long before you’d go out of your mind?
It’s the same for your partner. She needs the same loving touch that you crave (and more!) in one special place: on or around her clitoris!
And with clitoral, vaginal, G-spot, multiple and liquid orgasms in her pleasure trove, your focus on how and where you touch determines whether she’ll go out of her mind with pleasure—or frustration. The difference often comes down to one small word: Ask.
Simply checking in with her about what she likes will show you’re truly a generous lover who’s unafraid to ask for directions.
Come…Meet The Clitoris
The clitoris is the only human organ designed purely for pleasure, and, sorry gentlemen, it’s a woman-only advantage. But we will let you play with it!
Here’s one good reason: it’s loaded with millions of the same orgasm-triggering nerve endings as in your penis, only they’re packed into an area the size of a pea!
Some women prefer soft, indirect caressing. Others love rapid, direct touching. And some crave both, depending on how near they are to orgasm. Remember, if you aren’t sure how your lover likes to be touched, ask! She may only be able to come if you stimulate her clitoris the way she likes it.
Once you’re tuned in to her perfect touch, you can then tailor the angles of your positions and motions to deliver the hottest erotic friction to her clitoris. To find out more about star-quality clitoral contact, you need look no further than chapter 9!
The Female Orgasmic Combo Platter
How many different ways can a woman orgasm? Let us count the ways…
Clitoral Os. Clitoral caressing is your path to her Big O. Vary the pressure, speed and stroke of your fingertip-touch till you find what melts her into orgasmic bliss. Respond to her non-verbal cues and ask her what feels good. Then apply this powerful carnal knowledge to your position angles and penetration motions during intercourse.