Second Lies (The Second Life Series) (3 page)

“I can’t believe you did that to Mom,” I bit my bottom lip.  As far as secrets go, Nick took the cake.  I don’t think I could live with myself if I ever did what he did.  No wonder he ran away from everything and everyone he loved and knew. “She’s probably living in hell.  She thinks she almost killed herself driving home drunk.  No matter what our childhood was like, she doesn’t deserve to go through life thinking that.”

“Don’t get all holier than thou on me right now,” the words squeaked out, fighting through his heart wrenching cries.  He rambled on. “It was never reported, and she made a full recovery.  There’s no record of this.  It’s like that night never even happened.  Besides, she has more than one DUI earned on record, so this whole thing isn’t exactly farfetched.  Think about it.  Her life never changed even when she thought she almost killed herself from drinking.  You would have thought this would’ve been exactly what she needed to change her life for the better, but I can bet anything she’s drinking just as much as before the accident.  Not even this could change her.” He shook his head. “I’ve kept this a secret for almost a year.  Don’t pull away from me.  We’ve watched out for each other our whole lives, and from the sound of it, you have your own demons.  Are you going to tell me what that is or did you suddenly forget that I’m not the only one with a closet full of skeletons?”

“Don’t be an asshole, Nick,” I buried my head in my hands and fought to accept this secret.  My brother betrayed my mother and possibly killed an innocent man.  Dennis covered the whole thing up; he didn’t think twice about it.  I was playing with fire, trusting Darth.  Nothing he said could be trusted.  Finally, when I was unable to think about Nick anymore, I blurted out. “I danced!  I’m a fucking stripper!”

After everything that was just said, I was somehow able to shock Nick.  Amazingly, he laughed, “You’re fucking kidding.  There’s no way you could do that.” I nodded my head.  He became suddenly serious. “Why?  Mom and Dad would give you anything.”

I shrugged my shoulders and continued in a hushed voice, “My friend’s a dancer.  She got me into it.  I started doing drugs while I was there and drinking all the time.  It was all about control and letting loose.  It was amazing, losing all my inhibitions like that and making a shit
load of money.  No one ever thought the daughter of the saint, Dr. Thomas Ward, would ever snort a line of coke, but all of a sudden it became a regular thing for me.  It became regular, and no one at the club judged me.

Well, one day my boss wanted me to do this photo shoot with my friend, and I didn’t feel comfortable with taking semi-nude pictures to have up on the web.  He gave me some pills, and then, I was so high I really didn’t give a shit any more.  I was standing in just my underwear with another girl.  I bought all of the photos back except one…and now, Dennis has it.  The funny thing is I quit just a couple days ago.  I had a plan to get the last picture back, but Dennis has it now.  I have no fucking clue how he even figured out I worked there.”

“Face it, Adriana.  We’re two fucked up people, must be in our blood,” he sat down next to me again, and I somehow found the ability to look at him.  As much as I wanted to run or scream at him or call my mom and tell her the truth, I couldn’t.  Nick was right.  We were broken, sad individuals.  We were broken, and we needed each other. “So can I count on you to keep my secret?”

“Can I count on you to keep mine?” I shot back.  We both stared at each other for a second until finally I cracked a sadistic, appalling, possibly crazy grin.

He smiled back, “Yes.”

“Then, yes,” and just like that, we were one in the same.  His demons were mine, and mine were his.  Maybe it was crazy, maybe it was too soon, but Nick was right about one thing.  Our blood was the same, and I could never deny protecting my brother.  I’d do anything for him, and he’d do anything for me.  This was a sick test to prove that, and there was no way I could fail him.

I woke up in the guest bedroom in Nick’s apartment.  Honestly, I couldn’t even remember getting to this point.  Yesterday was exhausting, yet I was sure it was a day full of topics that we’d never discuss again.  I was just glad everything was out on the table, and we could kind of go back to how things used to be.

When I climbed out of bed, I flipped through my bag until I found a gray, long sleeved dress.  I pulled on some tights and knee-high boots and stepped out into the hallway.  Nick’s door was still shut, which wasn’t surprising.  He always slept in, even more so than I did.  Today was different though.  I had a killer headache, and I needed a change of scenery.  I wouldn’t go far, just to the restaurant downstairs, and then I’d grab something to eat.

It was only a couple minutes later that I was sitting in the upscale restaurant.  They were serving lunch, so I scanned the menu for something filling.  Suddenly, someone caught my eye.  The girl from Nick’s place was walking by, wearing a canary yellow cardigan, jeans, and some flats.  Her long hair was braided down one side of her shoulder.  Her makeup was very light, maybe only some mascara and some lip gloss.  She was naturally gorgeous.  I think her name was Angela.  Yes, that was it.

I waved her down, and she stopped dead in her tracks.  She smiled and walked into the restaurant.  She greeted me, “Hey, I didn’t expect to see you down here,” she looked at my table set for one, “especially without Nick.  Did he abandon you?”

“Not quite, he was asleep, and I didn’t have the heart to wake him up,” I gestured to the empty chair. “Please, unless you had plans, sit with me.  I literally just got here.  I didn’t even order yet.”

She nodded her head and took a seat.  A few moments later the waiter appeared with a second menu and glass of water.  As soon as he was back out of earshot she rambled, “Look, I’m really sorry about yesterday.  I was so embarrassed when I realized you were his sister.  I felt like I could just die.”  I shook it off. “No, but for real, it was like the worst possible way I could’ve met you.”

“Believe me
; it’s fine,” I smiled, completely thrilled that I was just having some girl time.  Gloria seemed to be a thing of the past, or at least, she was at this second while I was in Boston.  Once I got back to Philly, I planned on doing everything possible to repair my friendship with her. “Nick and I kind of lost contact with each other as of recent, so I knew showing up at his apartment uninvited would be opening the door to a million possible surprises.  If seeing you walk out of his bedroom was the biggest one, I’ll take it.” She exhaled and forced a smile on her face although it was still apparent that she felt uncomfortable. “So how long have you and Nick been seeing each other?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” she clarified quickly.  That didn’t surprise me.  I think the last time Nick had a girlfriend was
when he was in the third grade. “We’ve been dating though since February.  He sat next to me in one of my classes.  That’s how he met.”

“Yeah, that sounds like my brother.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen him commit to anyone in his adult life,” as soon as I said my thought out loud, I regretted it.  I didn’t want to ruin anything he had with this girl.  Although from what he said last night, she wasn’t exactly his main priority.

“Actually, it’s not him.  It’s me,” she smirked and shrugged her shoulders. “I love Nick.  I really do.”
Love?
  My mind went back to that tattoo I saw on her.  Maybe she was delusional.  “He’s the best thing that ever happened to me, but I can’t be with someone who won’t let me in.  I’m an all or nothing kind of girl…but he makes me break my own rules.  We do everything couples do, but I refuse to give him the title.  It drives him crazy.”

The waiter returned, and we both realized we hadn’t once looked at the menu.  I picked a random thing, and Angela followed suit.  I turned my attention back to her, “What do you mean?”

“Look at me.  You haven’t seen your brother in how long, and I’m already bitching about my relationship with him,” she said, shaking her head. “That’s not fair.  I’m sorry.”

“No, please, I really want to know,” I took a sip of my water.
“It’s okay.  Whatever’s said at lunch stays at lunch.”

After a long pause she said, “He came over to my family’s house for my birthday and Easter and every possible holiday in between.  He has my brothers’ phone numbers and hangs out with them like he’s one of the
boys.  My dad even likes the guy, and my dad
never
likes anyone.” She rolled her eyes. “It was such an easy transition bringing him into my life, but what about me?  He says he loves me,” my eyes grew with shock, “but how can he say that and not want me apart of
his
life?

I know how much he loves you and your dad because he tells me stories all the time about your past, but this shouldn’t be the way that I’m meeting you.  I wish I could just figure out why he’s so embarrassed of me.” She gulped. “He says it’s all him, that for whatever reason he’s created the distance between you guys.  At first, I wanted to believe him, but after seeing
his reaction towards you showing up, I can’t.  If he really wasn’t ready to see you, then why would he look so happy?  That makes me think that I’m the real reason why he won’t take me back to his home.”

She bowed her head, and my heart ached for her.  Nick clearly hadn’t been honest with me about his relationship with Angela.  Now that all of his secrets were exposed to me, I didn’t see why there was any reason why I couldn’t accept her into my life the way he was accepted into hers.

Finally, I said, “Believe me when I say Nick was telling you the truth.” She perked up. “All you saw was the happy, wonderful greeting.  Pretty much once you left it went downhill very quickly.  He’s not lying when he says we have our own issues as a family, but the good news is we got a lot out last night.  We screamed.  I cried…more than once.  We
laid everything out on the table, and I think we’re doing a lot better.”

“He’s been telling me the truth?” Relief washed over her face. “Really?”

I nodded my head, and the waiter returned with garlic noodles for me and a chicken salad sandwich for Angela.  Considering we put absolutely no thought into our meals, we were both extremely pleased.  The food looked delicious.  After spooning some food into my mouth, I nodded enthusiastically.  Angela perked up and took a bite of her sandwich.

For the remainder of our meal, Angela and I dropped the subject of Nick.  It turned out we had a lot in common, so it was an easy transition.  Angela was
twenty-one, and a senior at Boston University with Nick.  She grew up right outside of Boston with her parents and three brothers.  She was the only girl and the youngest.  I loved all the stories she told me about growing up with such a large, connected family.  It was so different, yet it was so similar to the way I grew up.

We also spent a good bit of time talking about fashion and hair.  It was another shared obsession.  For the length of a meal, it was nice to have someone fill the void left from the absence of my best friend, and after the blowout and makeup between Nick and I last night, it was just good to relax.

The waiter returned with the check, and I slipped my credit card in immediately, sending him off.  Angela contested, “No, please, this should be my treat.  You’re the guest.”

“No way, I was already here.  I’m the one who stopped you from going wherever you were going,” I waved her off as she hunted through her purse for some money. “Seriously, it’d be my pleasure.  You saved me from lunch by myself.”

“Are you sure?” I nodded, and she reluctantly closed her purse.

“So were you on your way up to Nick’s room?” I asked as the waiter returned with my card and receipt to sign.

She nodded and blushed, “I wasn’t sure when you would be leaving, so I wanted to see if I could spend some time with you before you left.  Mission accomplished.” She grinned. “Nick kind of just sent me off yesterday, and like I said before, this was my first opportunity to meet anyone from Nick’s family.  I’m really glad I did.”

“Me, too,” just as I said this, my phone started ringing.  I dug through my purse, and when I found it, Wes’s name lit up the screen.  Shit, it felt like forever since I’d last spoken to him.  I shook the ringing phone in my hand. “Why don’t you go upstairs to wake up Nick?  I have to take this phone call, and then I’ll meet you up there in a few minutes.”

“Good, once I wake him up, maybe I can coax him into taking you on a tour of the city or something fun like that.  I’ll see you in a little bit,” she went upstairs and left me to the phone call.

“Hey,” I greeted into the phone as I found an empty seat in the lobby.  It was still pretty busy in the hotel but surprisingly quiet.

“I’ve been worried about you,” Wes said with an edge to his voice. “You haven’t talked to me once since you got to the city.”

“I’m sorry,” I breathed.  I knew I should’ve probably found time to call Wes.  If the roles were reversed, I’d probably be nerve ridden, too, but I was so drained.  None of my normal steps were taken during this very long day. “It’s been crazy up here.  Nick and I got in a huge fight last night, and by the time I got to bed, I just passed out.  Then, I had lunch with his girlfriend today, and I completely lost track of time.  She’s really great.”

“What about Nick?  Is everything okay with that?” He asked. “You said you guys were fighting.”

“Yes, as in past-tense,” I twirled my hair around my fingers, watching the people walk by. “We made up quickly.  We got a lot figured out.  I’m glad I came.”

“I’m glad to hear you’re okay.  I’ve been worried about you,” his velvet voice cooed in my ear.  It made me miss him more than I even knew was imaginable.  It was like my brain and heart were on hibernation mode, but as soon as I was reminded of my delectable boyfriend back home, they both woke up with a ravenous fury. “Did you decide when you’re coming back home?”

“Yeah, I’m leaving late tonight.  Nick has class early in the morning, and he’s insisted on being able to take me to the airport,” I answered. “I guess I’ll take a cab home since it’s going to be really late when I arrive back in Philly.”

“Don’t be crazy,” he said. “You’re not taking a cab in the middle of the night.  Just text me before you get on the plane, and I’ll meet you at the airport.”

“Thank you,” I had to admit I was thoroughly excited to have Wes pick me up.  After spending some time apart, it would be more than welcomed to sleep in the same bed together.  It still amazed me how quickly I latched onto him, but no one had ever gained my trust so fast before. “I’ll see you later tonight.  I miss you.”

“I miss you too, baby,” I cringed at how much I loved hearing him call me that.  I still couldn’t believe I was in a real relationship. “Enjoy the rest of your day.”

“Thank you, bye,” I clicked off the phone and returned back to the world of Boston.  Here I didn’t really mean anything to anyone.  I was just another face in a sea of people.  Once I got back to Jersey, I’d run into Wes’s arms where I belonged.  Tonight couldn’t come fast enough.

Angela got the idea to take a bus tour of Boston, so I could see as much as possible in a reasonable amount of time.  Nick and I didn’t have the heart to tell her I’d been in the city plenty of times in the past.  She was just so excited to show everything off that we couldn’t take that away from her.

After the tour, we ate a huge dinner and went out for drinks at a couple of bars.  I met a few of their mutual friends who welcomed me with open arms.  The day was amazing.  Seeing Nick so affectionate with another person was better than I could have imagined.  He was so careful and considerate of Angela now that he opened up to me about last year that I was slightly envious.  I only hoped Wes and I looked as good together.

Once the festivities were over, we swung back to the hotel to pick up my things.  Angela decided to stay in Nick’s apartment while he drove me to the airport.  As he inched his way through heavy traffic, I stared out the window, completely happy with my short trip to Boston.  We had confronted some huge obstacles in our lives, but the good thing was we were now facing them together.

“You should come back when I go on Thanksgiving break,” Nick switched lanes and took the exit towards the airport. “We’ll have more fun.  I’ll make plans to do stuff.”

He pulled into a parking space and shook his head without saying anything to me.  In his eyes, I was still his baby sister that followed him around everywhere he went.  He still felt like he needed to watch after me, and hell maybe he did.  Ever since he left, I did things in my life that I never thought I’d ever do.

“We can talk more thoroughly about everything the next time you come to Boston.  I just think we need a break, clear our heads, deal with life first,” he said.  I nodded in response. “Be careful when you get back there.  Call me if you need anything, and don’t forget what I said to you about Dennis.  You can’t trust him…and, just so you know, I was serious about Virginia.  I think it might be better if you got away and lived with Dad.  I don’t want you doing coke ever again.  You hear me?” I nodded my head solemnly.  He shook it off as if he remembered that I had a flight to catch, and, as he said, we should probably continue this conversation another time anyway. “I love you.”

“I love you, Nicky,” I gave him a hug and grabbed my bags.  Once I got my things together, I made my way into the airport and prepared myself for a flight home.