Second Lies (The Second Life Series) (8 page)

“It’s complicated,” he took my face in both of his hands and pressed his forehead against mine. “Don’t leave.  Stay here with me.  I don’t want you to go.”

I pulled away sensing a new found realization.  Behind the lies and the cover ups, behind the money and the good looks, there lies one, brilliant truth that burns as bright as the sun: You could
not
trust the Holdens.

Just like before, I uttere
d, “Goodnight,” and I was gone.

My phone was ringing for the third time in a row.  It was Craig,
and I was determined to ignore his phone calls for the day.  After eating a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream, smoking a shit load of weed, and calming myself down, I realized I was such an asshole for leaving Declan last night. I just wasn’t ready to apologize.  I was still loathing myself, drained in self-pity.  I couldn’t believe I saw
him
last night.  I couldn’t believe I hooked up with a married man…and not just any married man but Garrett
fucking
Holden.  All of that and a perfectly nice guy was left on the dance floor who in no way deserved that. Great job, Adriana.

The intercom went off, and I buzzed Gloria up.  After a series of pathetic text messages I’d sent her, she decided to skip her class and check up on me instead.  Within minutes, she was barging into my apartment.  She came into the bedroom and found me tucked away under the comforters.

“What happened?” She dropped her things to the floor and climbed into bed with me.  She wrapped her arms around my waist and leaned her head against the back of my shoulder. “Honey, why are you so sad?  Was your date that bad?”

“Declan was great,” I sniffed. “We were having a blast, but then I saw
him
there, standing over the crowd, watching us dance.”

“Shut the fuck up.  Do you mean-?” Gloria knew better than to mention his name out loud.  We had established that rule months ago. “What the fuck was he doing there?”

“He bought the bar with Garrett after we broke up.  He probably thinks I knew it was his bar and that I did it all on purpose,” I grabbed a tissue and dabbed at my eyes. “He probably thinks I’m the biggest bitch in the world.”

“It was an accident.  That was completely out of your control.”

“There’s more,” I exhaled, preparing myself for the extreme, judgmental reaction of Gloria Colon.  She had already freaked out once when I told her about the kiss in the lobby. “Garrett was there, too….and we did some things.”

“
Things?
” Gloria shrieked. “What kind of
things
did you do?”

I couldn’t face her.  I knew she was totally disapproving of me having anything to do with
Garrett.  She thought I was just transferring my emotions for one brother to another. “Um, we just did some things.  Can we leave it at that?  I promise we didn’t have sex.”

“Adriana, you need to use your brain,” she tightened her squeeze around me the way she did whenever she was about to lecture me.  She knew I had a tendency
for leaving the room whenever she started up. “Garrett’s using you.  He sees that you’re hurting, so he’s swooping in for the easy fuck.  You don’t want to be that girl.”

“It’s not like that.  When I’m around
Garrett, it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before.  We’re like magnets, completely drawn together.  Nothing else matters except that moment.  I’ve never felt such a raw, sexual attraction to anyone else like that,” I was such a poet whenever I was depressed, but it was true and it was out there now.  Garrett could so easily control me if I let my guard down.  His power over me was completely undeniable.

“
Never
before?  Not even with…?” Her voice trailed off.

I
nodded my head. “Not even with him.”

“I think you’re just confused because you
’re vulnerable, and even if you’re not, too fucking bad.  He has a daughter and a pregnant wife.  You don’t want to be the ‘other woman.’  You don’t want to ruin a family.  Promise me you won’t see him again, Adriana,” there was the Gloria Colon judgment session.  Fuck, she was always right though.

“Seeing him is never my intention,” I replied. “He just keeps popping up, but I can’t say I’m too surprised.  He’s friends with a lot of
Darth’s friends.  It’s bound to happen again at some point,” she eyed me disapprovingly, “but I promise not to seek him out myself.  I’m never going to that bar again.”

“I guess I can accept that as an answer,” Gloria sat up in my bed
and grabbed a magazine that was on the end table.  She started flipping through it.

Clearly, we were done with my pity party.  Gloria never let me mope around her for too long, which was good in a way.  It forced me to break out of my slump even though I wanted to continue crying into the pillow.  I asked, “How was last night?”

She shrugged, dramatically flipping the next page, “It was okay.  The movie was great, but we got into a fight over dinner.”

“About what?” I got out of bed and stretched.  My body felt exhausted.

“Vicki found out about the photo shoot,” my eyes grew with shock.  I gulped. “No, no, not the one you and I did.” Thank God, Gloria never told Vicki she once had feelings for me.  She said it wasn’t her business, and she didn’t want to cause any friction between us.  Besides, I was straight, so there was nothing to worry about. “Charlie had me do another photo shoot for the site in this sexy Santa costume.  She went online, saw the pictures, and freaked out.”

When I told Gloria I had purchased all of the pictures, I thought she’d be mad at me, but surprisingly, she was relieved.  I guess neither of us wanted to be reminded of that day or that dark time in our friendship.  Besides, without me, she got to model by herself for the homepage of Lux’s website.  It was better all around.

“She knows you’re a dancer.  This is your job,” I said while brushing out the tangles in my hair.

“At first she didn’t care, but now, she’s more possessive.  I mean, yeah, I get it.  She’s my girlfriend, and I wouldn’t want anyone to be looking at her like that,” she shrugged her shoulders, “but this is how I make my money.  I thought my job wouldn’t get in the way of my relationship, but now feelings are involved and everything’s intensified.”

“Now, you know what I was going through,” I started changing into some tights, a sweater and Uggs.

“Yeah, it’s hard balancing everything.  I just hope Vicki doesn’t lose her shit when I tell her about the calendar,” my eyes widened with surprise. “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you.  Charlie’s doing a calendar and giving it away during the New Year’s party.  Guess who’s gracing the cover?” She posed, and I laughed. “I can’t turn it down.  He’s paying us a lot of money to do it, and tuition is crazy high right now.”

“Well if it means anything, I will be the very first person begging you to autograph my naughty Lux calendar,” I picked up my grandmother’s ring out of the jewelry box and pulled it on my finger.  Seeing that thing always made me smile. “I feel like I need to go apologize to Craig for last night.”

“You definitely should,” Gloria climbed out of my bed and slipped her sneakers back on, “and there’s no time like the present.  Besides, I have tons and tons of studying to catch up on tonight.”

Gloria and I walked out together but went our separate ways once we were out on the streets.  It was a quick ten minute walk until I was at the gym.  When I came inside, Craig was training with a client.  He spotted me almost immediately and after giving an instruction to the guy who had absolutely no rhythm on the bag, he met me by the door.

“What the hell happened last night?” He said in a harsh, whispered voice.  Oh, we were getting straight to the meat of things. “Declan said you just left him at the bar for no fucking reason.  What the hell was that about?”

“My ex-boyfriend was there,” I crossed my arms, fighting hard to combat the memory of
him
standing before me, watching me grind on another guy. “Turns out he’s the owner of that bar.”

That seemed to break through Craig’s anger a little bit.  He laughed, “You should have told Declan.  He can handle himself, and I’m sure he wouldn’t have turned you down if you wanted to make your ex jealous.”

“That wasn’t necessary,” I rolled my eyes.  The last thing I needed was for some guy I barely knew getting in a fight with my ex over me. “I need to apologize to Declan for last night.  Can you pass along the message?”

“I could, or you could go deliver it yourself,” Craig pointed to the other side of the gym.  Declan was lifting weights in front of a mirror dressed in a t-shirt and basketball shorts that exposed all of his glorious, glistening muscles.  Craig patted me on the shoulder. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, kid, I have to get back to work.”

After a moment of debate, I joined Declan over by the weights.  He paused when he spotted my reflection in the mirror, but then immediately picked up his count as if I wasn’t even standing there.  I cleared my throat, “Can we talk?”

“
You
can talk,” Declan said, still pumping the weights. “You’re the one who should explain running off like an asshole for no fucking reason.”

“You’re right.  I was a complete asshole.  You were so great last night, and I just took off.  I’m sorry.  I’ve never been put in the position where I’m running into my ex-boyfriend during a date before,” God, that last sentence left a bad taste in my mouth.  Despite my better judgment, I added. “Maybe, we could try for a movie or something tonight?”

Declan laughed and dropped his weights to the floor.  He turned to me and answered sarcastically, “Do you really expect me to go out with you again after you ditched me, at a bar, in Philly, when I barely know my way back to Craig’s place?” I stared back at him wide eyed and silent. “Maybe
you
should go back to the bar and find your ex.  Clearly, you’re not over him, and maybe he’ll have some time for you…because I don’t.” He trudged away from me, leaving my cheeks burning with embarrassment. 

I stormed out of the gym and into the cold, unforgiving Philadelphia streets.  Nothing was going my way.  I wondered what Dennis would do if I packed up my things tonight and
drove until I couldn’t stand being in the car anymore.  The prick would probably be thrilled if I left.  I needed to separate myself from my immediate friends and talk to somebody who was disconnected but aware.  Shit, I couldn’t believe I was doing this.  I scrolled through my phone and clicked Bethany’s name.

There was a knock at my door, and I exhaled.  I still couldn’t believe I had done this, but out of sheer desperation, I called Bethany Howell, former Haddonfield resident and current girl I usually avoided.  When I opened the door, she was dressed in a white sweat suit.  Her short, blonde hair was brushed the side, making her look years younger than what she truly was.  It reminded me of a distant memory of when we were freshman.  I think she got a terrible haircut a long time ago.

“Hey,” she leaned in for a short hug, patting me twice on the shoulder, “this was such a surprise.  I was starting to suspect that you didn’t want to hang out with me anymore.”

Desperation made me want to hang out with you again
.
“No way, I’ve just been swamped with life.  Things have cleared up a bit.”

“That’s good to hear,” I motioned into my apartment, and she stepped inside as I shut the door.  Silently, she gazed around the space through her large, endless, brown eyes. “It’s really nice in here.  It’s definitely a huge change from your dad’s house.”

“Yeah, when I was searching for a place, I made sure to tell the realtor that I wanted to see lots and lots of stainless steel.”

“This suits you,” she added thoughtfully.

“Take a seat,” I offered. “The remote’s on the coffee table.  Can I get you something to drink?  Wine?  Water?  Coffee?”

“Wine of course,” she scolded while finagling with the remote. “This is a
girl’s night
.  How can we not be slightly tipsy on wine during a girl’s night?”  She had a point.

At first, it was awkward having Bethany over my place.  She kept talking about the past when we were kids, about things I couldn’t remember, or maybe I just wanted to forget them.  She asked me how Nick was, and I told her about his girlfriend.  She looked surprised and admitted that she used to have a crush on him.  After a little while though, I started to warm up to her a bit.  As it turns out, she was a very good listener.

I rambled on about the breakup, Garrett, and then the dreaded date at the bar with Declan.  She nodded her head and made comments at all the right places.  She made me feel so comfortable that I even admitted to her why I was on a short leash, which was held by Dennis’s firm grip.  Well, if I’m being honest, I didn’t give her specific details.  That just felt too personal, and I was still learning whether or not I could trust her.

Finally, after I almost lost my breath from how much I’d been bitching, I stopped because I got it all out, and it felt amazing.  Bethany took a long sip of her wine, pulled away, and while staring at the stem of the glass, all she asked was, “What are you going to do about Garrett?”

All that and she only cared about Garrett?  I shrugged my shoulders and downed the glass, immediately refilling it afterwards. “I don’t know. What do you mean?”

“You clearly have feelings for him…despite the inconvenience of who his brother is,” she added quickly. “I can see it in your eyes, so when are you going to act on it?  If he’s that good with his tongue, imagine what he can do with his cock.”

For a brief few moments, I just stared at her.  I couldn’t wrap my head around sweet, innocent Bethany Howell saying the word “cock.”  I answered, “He has a pregnant wife and a beautiful, little girl.  I can’t screw that up.  Besides, I’m not going to be hiding around corners and slinking in the shadows just to spice up my sex life.”