Authors: Marilyn
He shook his head.
Dan sighed. “Just so you know, Carter, I don’t think she’s an easy lay. I only said that to get a rise out of you in an effort to help you admit the truth.” He placed a hand on his shoulder. “You and I have been through too much for you to feel the need to deny the obvious. If you can’t admit how you feel to me, who can you admit it to? You’re clearly in love with her. You’re both going to be miserable until you admit that and do something about it.”
“Look Dan —”
“If you’re not ready to admit how you feel, fine. I’m in this friendship for the long haul and I can wait until you’re ready. But do me a favor and don’t make the mistake of thinking she’ll be as willing to wait for you. Go after her before she decides you’re not worth the heartache you’re giving her and move on to another guy.”
“And if the magic is gone for her?”
“Then rekindle it. Maybe you haven’t been an ideal boyfriend but you haven’t done anything irreversible. You charmed her once. You can do it again. But make a move already because if you lose her, you’re going to regret it.”
“Even if what you say is true, she’s in her early thirties. She probably wants kids.”
“And?”
“My guys are almost fully cooked, giving me almost complete control of my life again. I’m not interested in starting over again as a father at my age.”
“At your age? Come on, Carter. You’re forty-three; not sixty-three. Men a lot older than you become fathers for the first time every day. If it happens with you, at least you already know the deal.”
“And what if the magic is gone for me?”
“If it were, we wouldn’t be having this conversation and you wouldn’t have slept with so many women since walking out on her in a vain attempt to fuck her out of your mind.”
“Who says the attempt was in vain?”
“I do. I know you love her. Don’t let a fear of her wanting a baby be an excuse to let her get away. That’s all I have to say. Now. Do you want to shoot some hoops?”
He shook his head. “I think I’d better spend some time alone thinking.”
“Okay. You know where I am if you need to talk. If you do, I promise no more preaching. I’ll just listen.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ll see you later,” he said.
Left alone, Carter sat on his terrace, listening to Al Green, guzzling beers, and trying to decide what if anything he wanted to do about Kira. To himself, at least, he couldn’t deny that the thought of developing a real relationship with her excited him. If Dan was right she was still in love with him. On the other hand, if he was wrong, she probably never wanted him to darken her door again. And he’d already ruined any chance of rekindling the magic they’d once shared.
I no longer find magic in your touch…
He closed his eyes.
You have to make a decision soon and stick to it or you really will have blown it. You know she almost certainly wants kids and marriage. If you’re not prepared to give her both, you’ll be a distant memory and she’ll be enchanting some other man… Oh hell no!
Chapter Nine
Two weeks after her confrontation with Carter, Kira stood in front of her bedroom closet mirror. She wore a dark rose-colored silk blouse with a light cotton lining. The neckline was embroidered with silver and sequined. The elastic waist allowed the blouse to flow nicely over the cream-colored skirt with its layered hemline. A pair of three-inch rose heels and a matching evening bag laid on her bed.
She put on a pair of diamond and gold hoop earrings Mark had given her for her last birthday, along with a simple gold chain she’d bought herself.
After studying her reflection for several moments, she decided she looked like a confident woman ready to light up the night for some lucky man.
She picked up her bag and walked out of the bedroom. As she entered the living room, her phone rang. She sucked in a quick breath, plagued by what she hoped was a last errant thought of Carter. Had he been interested in anything other than another drive-by fuck, he would have called her. It was time to try to embrace the future and forget about him. She picked up her phone. “Hello?”
“Hey honey, it’s Mark. I’m in the lobby. Are you ready?”
She had allowed him to talk her into accompanying him to single’s night at a local hotel. Although she had finally agreed, a small, aching part of her had longed for Carter to call her and tell her he wanted to see her again. But that was not going to happen. So she was prepared to make the most of the night.
“Yes. I’ll be right down.”
Mark let out a piercing wolf whistle when she stepped off the elevator five minutes later. He slipped his arms around her. “If you weren’t my best friend I’d be making plans to sweep you off your feet and into my bed tonight, you sexy, voluptuous woman. What do you say? Do you want to develop some benefits to go with our friendship?”
Knowing he had no more interest in sleeping with her than she had with him, she nodded. “Why not?” she teased and then laughed as he whirled her around until she came to a stop and found Carter, dressed in a dark suit with a white shirt and dark blue tie staring at them.
From the cool look in his eyes and the clenching of his jaw, she suspected he had heard their exchange but had failed to realize they were jesting with each other. Although he was a jealous bastard, he had finally come. She stepped away from Mark.
“I seem to have come at an awkward time,” he said, his voice as cold as dry ice.
“You seemed to have come too late,” Mark responded in a tone that more than matched Carter’s coolness. “So why don’t you go find some other woman’s emotions to toy with?”
“Why don’t you fuck the hell off?” Carter snapped.
“Why don’t you try to make me—if you think you’re
brave
enough?”
Carter’s right hand clenched and he took a step forward. “If you insist,
white boy.
”
Oh, hell no, they were not about to embarrass her by fighting and trading racial insults. Just her luck that two of the three most important men in her life clearly hated each other. She stepped between them, facing Mark. “Oh, dude. How could you?” she asked in a quiet voice for his ears alone.
“I don’t like him or the way he’s treated you so don’t expect me to apologize,” he said, making no effort to lower his voice. He looked over her head at Carter. “And I’m warning you. You hurt her again and I will kick your ass all over this city.”
“Fuck you.”
Mark tensed and she turned to face Carter. “Did you come to talk to me or to insult him?”
He inhaled and exhaled slowly before he spoke. “I came to talk to you, but you can’t expect me to take his shit without responding.”
“If trading racial insults with him is more important—”
“He started it.”
“And you’re determined to finish it? Fine. Don’t let me interfere.”
He reached out and caught her hand as she turned away. “Please. I need to talk to you.”
After a moment, she glanced at Mark. “Do you mind?”
“He’s treated you like shit. Of course I mind, but if you want to talk to the sorry bastard, so be it.”
“Mark! Please. Don’t.”
“Fine. Call me if you need me.”
She squeezed his hand. “I know you think this is a mistake, but I need to talk to him. Please understand.”
“I don’t, but I’ll support whatever choice you make—just as I always have.”
“Thank you.” She brushed her lips against his cheek.
Mark suddenly caressed her ass and kissed her directly on her lips.
She sucked in a surprised breath and jerked away from him.
Locking gazes with Carter, he deliberately slapped her on her ass before he walked away.
Oh, Mark. Really?
Carter stared after him with his jaw clenching for several seconds before he exhaled and turned to look at her. “You look lovely.”
“Thanks…what can I do for you?”
“Can I buy you dinner?”
She shook her head. “Just say whatever you have to say. As you can see, I’m on my way out.”
“Look, I know I fucked up, but I want to try again.”
Her heartbeat quickened. “Try what?”
“Seeing you again.”
“Why? With what goal in mind?”
“With the goal of trying to establish a relationship— a real one this time.”
Don’t get too excited yet.
“Why?”
“What do you mean why?”
“I mean why, Carter.”
He glanced around. “Do we really have to have this conversation here in public?”
If he were serious, she should at least attempt to meet him half way. “Would you like to come upstairs for a quick talk?”
“If you like, but I’d prefer to take you out to dinner.”
She was not going to make this too easy for him this time. “I already have plans.”
He arched a brow. “Blondie just left—unless he’s lurking outside like a damned stalker.”
Oh, Lord. Save me from jealous men
. “As you know, his name is Mark and he’s my best friend. I don’t make disparaging remarks about your best friend.”
He held up a hand, palm out. “Sorry. It won’t happen again.”
“I hope not but he’s always been there for me—just as I’m sure your friend has been for you.”
He nodded. “You have my word. Now will you put me out of my misery and have dinner with me? Please.”
I hope you know what you’re doing
. “Okay.”
He exhaled. “Thanks.” He offered her his arm.
She slipped her hand through it.
During the drive to a popular Center City restaurant, they listened to soft jazz in silence. Kira suffered through a wide spectrum of emotions. She felt relieved and expectant seated next to him. But she was also aware of a feeling of anxiety. What if he only wanted to resume their sexual relationship? What if—
What if you take a deep breath and just see how the evening ends? You can decide how to proceed in the morning. Just enjoy tonight—but no sex. Hopping into bed with him hasn’t exactly worked out well for you.
She managed to relax and cleared her mind as much as possible. By the time they reached the French restaurant he’d chosen, some of her tension had vanished.
It returned with interest when once they were seated and had ordered, he reached across the table to place his hand over hers. “I’ve missed you.”
“Have you?”
He nodded.
“I’m sure you had plenty of willing women to keep you company.”
He sighed before he finally nodded. “I did.”
Bastard! “Then why are you here?”
“Because none of them were you or capable of making even a small dent in the…way I feel about you.”
“And what way is that, Carter?”
“I want to try again.”
She removed her hand from his, annoyed by his failure to answer her question. “Why?
“How much do you want to know of how I’ve spent the time we’ve been separated?”
She took a low, deep breath. “There’s no need to go into detail, but…”
“I’ve spent that time trying to…fuck you out of my system with a number of different women.”
So he’d spent their time apart fucking everything with a pussy while she’d spent her time longing for him.
Get a grip, girl. At that point, he was free to sleep with whomever he wanted to. As a matter of fact, he’s always been free to sleep with whomever he wanted. If you’d had half a brain, you would have done the same thing.
“And?”
He shrugged. “It didn’t work. Each encounter left me frustrated and longing for you.”
That was all well and good, but…”What’s changed, Carter? The last time we saw each other, you were afraid that I felt more for you than you felt for me.”
“That’s what I told myself and everyone else.”
“But?”
“But it wasn’t true then and it isn’t now.” He reclaimed her hand. “I need to know if you still feel like that for me, Kira.”
So he wanted her to bare her soul to him again? Not damned likely. “I’m not in the mood for anymore true confessions.”
“Kira—”
“And you haven’t answered my question. What’s changed?”
“I did answer your question. I said it wasn’t true then and it isn’t now.”
“Carter—”
“I don’t know that’s anything changed or needed to. What I feel now, I felt then. The only difference is that now I’m prepared to admit it.”