“If you wish to leave, I can take you home,” Matteo offered quietly.
Snapping out of her lurid thoughts, she met his gaze, outright studying him for long, quiet seconds. She could almost forget they were in a restaurant, surrounded by people, family, friends. The way he looked at her at this very moment, she felt as if they were the only two people in the world. “I don’t want to interfere with what is clearly a night of family celebration.”
“If you’re too tired, I’ll take care of you,” he murmured, his voice, his eyes full of heat. “I don’t mind.”
Her heart lurched hard in her chest and she parted her lips, ready to protest. No, ready to agree, to beg him to, yes, please take her out of here so maybe they could steal a few hours alone and she could unleash all of the pent up passion and emotion on him that she’d held within her for months…
The waiter suddenly appeared with their meals, his loud voice shattering the intense moment. Paige shifted her chair away from Matteo, desperate for the distance, more desperate to catch her breath and calm her racing heart.
A few carefully chosen words and she was melting in her chair. He probably didn’t mean anything behind those words beyond a kind boss wishing to take care of his employee. His son’s nanny.
Paige stiffened her spine. It was best she remember this. Her place amongst the Renaldis was minimal at best. She was disposable. Her previous employer proved that to her quite well, thank you very much.
With the arrival of their dinners, talk of Matteo taking her home was forgotten. Which was fine. Considering how intently he’d looked at her, as if he could see to the very heart of her and knew how she felt about him, it made her uncomfortable. Instead, she quietly ate, made sure Matty did the same thing and generally tried to stay out of the conversation as they all lingered over their meals, everyone so happy over Stasia’s good news.
For whatever reason, Paige felt small now. Useless. Most definitely put in her place. While the three other vibrant adults sat at the table discussing the economy and how it affected their business, recent mergers and, of course, the new baby and how happy the family was, she curled into herself and spoke only to Matty. Ignoring the potent heat of the man who sat beside her, trying her best to stay out of his gravitational pull. He was dangerous. The worst kind of torture for her already tattered heart and mind.
Tomorrow, she would start looking for another job. Discreetly. She knew he might protest when she gave notice, but he wouldn’t hold a grudge. He would give her a stellar recommendation and never step in her way. Unlike the other couple she’d worked for previously. Both of them had been hell-bent on destroying her, threatening her. Screaming she would never work as a nanny in Manhattan again.
Paige frowned. Why was she thinking of Paul and Carolyn Leonard tonight of all nights? She’d pushed them from her thoughts the day she met Claudia Renaldi in a coffee shop and was offered this job. Matteo’s mother had saved her life that dreary, rainy day. She’d been this close to leaving the city for good, going back home, to the small Midwest town where she lived her entire life, with her tail tucked between her legs. Enduring the “I told you so’s” her parents would’ve no doubt handed out to her on a daily basis until she finally found another job and solid ground.
And even then, her mother and father would’ve probably never let her live this mistake down.
It frightened her, thinking of leaving the Renaldi home, starting somewhere new. But she was starting to realize she didn’t have much of a choice. Her feelings for her boss grew stronger and stronger as each day passed.
And they were useless. Harmful.
“So Mama told me you’re looking into putting Matty in an all-day school soon,” Stasia said after their dinners had been consumed and they were all too lazy to get up from their chairs.
Paige turned to look at Stasia, trying her best to appear as if Stasia’s words didn’t affect her. Beside her, Matteo stiffened, his entire body gone still. “That would be incorrect,” he said, his voice dark and edged with steel. As if he didn’t want to discuss the matter any longer.
Most likely he didn’t want to discuss it in front of her.
Stasia frowned, stealing a glance in Paige’s direction before returning her inquisitive gaze to her brother. “But she told me that was your plan. That it was high time for Matty to get into the proper preschool he needs to prepare for…”
“It’s not true,” Matteo interrupted. “Though I have made some inquiries for a preschool where he would attend half the day, two days a week, nothing’s final yet. And he certainly isn’t ready to go to an all-day school five days a week. He’s too young.”
Worry flooded Paige and she tried her best to keep it together. It wouldn’t do, falling apart in front of her boss and his family. Bad enough she was on the verge of tears.
And was he trying to tell her she was unneeded? Or worse, that she would go to part-time wages? She was saving every dime she made, paying whatever small bills she had and stashing the rest in a savings account. This job wouldn’t last forever and she knew eventually she would need to move and find her own place.
She just hadn’t expected it to happen so soon.
“When will Matty start his new school, then?” Paige asked, her voice soft. If she acted confrontational, her behavior would get her nowhere.
He turned to look at her, his expression unreadable. No surprise. The man was a mystery she was desperate to solve. “I don’t know. Like I mentioned, nothing’s been confirmed.”
“But I’m assuming it will be soon. After all, Matty isn’t quite four yet. Preschool is the next logical step.” She kept her voice calm, neutral, but deep within, she was reeling. Coming undone.
“You’re worrying over nothing, Paige,” he said quietly, as if he sensed she was about to break apart. “You’ll still be under my employ fulltime.”
“Of course.” She nodded once and even managed to smile. But it felt fake. The way he looked at her, she knew
he
knew it was fake.
“Are you all right? You don’t seem yourself this evening.” His direct gaze met hers, assessing, seeing everything. She thought she’d been so discreet.
Wrong. He could read her better than she realized.
That he was aware of her discomfort bothered her even more. She was a terrible liar and had never been good at holding back her emotions. The weakness got her into trouble more often than not. Offering him another brief, fake smile, she said, “I’m fine. Really.”
“Maybe we should talk later. I’ve been meaning to, just haven’t found the time. There are a few things I’d like to ask you, Paige.” Reaching out, he settled his hand over hers on the table, giving it a brief squeeze before his hand dropped away.
She felt the flex of his fingers as if he’d literally squeezed her heart and never let it go.
And she was being so melodramatic she should probably chastise her mere thoughts for overreacting. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Your future. With me,” he said simply, his warm gaze searching her face as if he liked what he saw. And wanted more.
Her heart dropped to her toes and without thought she pushed back her chair. “Well, I can’t wait to hear what you have to say.” She glanced at Matty as she stood. “Let’s go to the bathroom and wash our hands.”
“Paige…” Matteo started but clamped his lips shut when she looked at him. Did he see the turmoil in her gaze? Did he know what she wrestled with day in and day out? Her feelings for him threatened to burst out of her chest like that horrible little alien from the scary movie she watched as a child. She still had the occasional nightmare about it.
She could not endure this torture any longer. He spoke of a future and she saw love and marriage and babies when he most likely saw her accompanying Matty to school and maybe finding her a uniform so she looked more like an official employee and less like a member of the family. Did they even do that sort of thing? She hadn’t a clue.
God, she was so
stupid
.
“Matty, let’s go,” she whispered, drawing the little boy’s attention. He stared at her with those big, velvety brown eyes, his gaze troubled. Lord help her, he was far too perceptive for his own good. The complete opposite of his blind-as-a-bat father.
“Okay.” Matty stood and took her hand, walking beside her as she led him to the bathroom. The restaurant was full, the space small so the tables were crowded within the room. Most of them occupied by couples involved in intimate conversations and as she passed by one table in particular, she nearly tripped over her own feet.
The man sitting there was her former boss, Paul Leonard, his arms stretched across the small table, clutching the hands of the woman who sat across from him.
Revulsion filled her, making her recoil in fear as she remembered what he did to her as if it were yesterday. She’d been in the laundry room, folding the children’s clean clothes when he’d accosted her out of nowhere, his hands all over her body, trying to slip beneath the hem of her T-shirt, the waistband of her jeans.
That’s how his wife had found them, Paige plastered against the wall and pushing him off. Paul’s mouth latching on to hers, his hands busy while she screamed against his disgusting lips. He’d let Paige take the blame for everything, never saying a word when his wife accused her of being a shameless slut messing around with her husband. He didn’t protest when Carolyn Leonard fired her either.
He was the worst sort of scum.
And the woman whose hands Paul Leonard held now was most definitely not his wife. Not that she was surprised he was out with another woman. She was shocked that she actually saw him after all these months. So odd. It was as if she’d conjured him from the very thoughts she had only a few moments ago.
“Hurry, Matty,” Paige whispered, jerking on his hand as they scurried toward the bathroom on the other side of the building. She hoped like crazy Paul didn’t notice them.
Paul glanced up at the precise moment she sped past his table, recognition dawning in his narrowed eyes. She looked away, embarrassed that he would see her, and nearly sagged against the door in relief when she found the bathroom.
She helped Matty wash his hands, noted that her own were shaking and she willed them to stop. Just seeing him had her heart beating like crazy and her entire body trembling in fear.
The man had the heart of a monster. Slick, charming, always smiling, always friendly on the outside, yet dark, foreboding and so incredibly cruel within. Those few moments of stark terror she’d experienced when he yanked her into his arms and tried his best to maul her still lingered in the back of her mind.
Would she ever be able to completely banish what Paul Leonard did to her from her memories? God, she hoped so.
“Are you okay, Paige?” Worry was written all over Matty’s face as he dried his little hands with a bunched up paper towel and her heart went out to him. He was so sensitive to other people’s feelings and at such a young age too. She always believed it had something to do with his relationship with his mother. He’d known even as a very small child—a mere baby—that something was wrong with the woman. Stasia had told her more than once Matty had worked extra hard to earn the approval and love of his mother but she’d always pushed him away. Ignored him.
Paige didn’t know how she could’ve stood it. Matty was like a shining little happy light wherever he went. She’d fallen in love with him.
Just as easily as she’d fallen for his father.
“I’m fine, Matty. Just…I saw someone I don’t like very much out there.” She dried her own hands, tossing the crumpled towel in the trashcan. Matty followed suit.
“Who? And why don’t you like him? Is he mean?”
“Well, it’s not nice to talk bad about other people but…yes. He was very mean to me once and I can never forgive him.” Shaking her head, she offered a reassuring smile. “But he’s no one you know or should worry about, trust me. Now, are you ready to go?”
“Yeah!” He beamed at her, his little wiggly body looking ready to sprint forward. She grabbed hold of his hand before he ran off, led him out of the bathroom and walked straight into the chest of the waiting Paul Leonard.
“Paige.” His voice was warm and inviting as he curled his hands around her forearms, pulling her to him for a hug. “So good to see you again.” The overt friendliness that was so clearly an act disgusted her.
She stiffened within his arms, everything within her trying to recoil from his touch. She had no choice but to let go of Matty’s hand so she could forcibly remove herself from Paul’s embrace.
“Let go of me,” she whispered, the temptation to knee him in the balls so strong it took everything within her to fight it off.
“You never protested before.” He withdrew from her, slowly dropping his hands away from her arms. He was a handsome man. Tall with light brown hair and sparkling hazel eyes, his expression at the moment deceptively easygoing, though she noted the shrewdness in his gaze.
He wasn’t pleased that she spotted him with another woman. She knew it, felt his worry and irritation vibrating off of him in palpable waves, and she stepped back, taking Matty’s hand in hers once again. “Goodbye, Paul,” she started to say, but he stopped her, his hand resting on her shoulder, fingers digging into her flesh.
“Wait a minute.” His voice was low and he stepped close, his mouth near her ear. “You best keep this to yourself, do you understand? I will destroy you if you leak one word of this to my wife.”