Her fingers flying over the keyboard, her gaze kept straying to the clock, hoping against hope she had enough time to finish the resume before they came home. She needed this opportunity, and she needed to make it happen quick. No matter how angry Matteo would be at her leaving so abruptly, he would understand. She knew it. He had to realize where she was coming from when it came to the two of them and how no matter what they just didn’t work. Being near him was torture.
A torture she didn’t want to deal with any longer, no matter how much that hurt.
Resolve filling her, she entered the information regarding her working for the Renaldi family, leaving Claudia as the reference. No way could she list Matteo as one and besides, it was Claudia who hired her in the first place.
Paige frowned. Okay, maybe that was cheating, but she knew she’d receive more support from Claudia than she ever would from Matteo, at least in this matter.
After opening the Internet browser, she went into her email account and started a new message, addressing it to the woman at the hiring agency, typing in a quick letter confirming tomorrow’s interview appointment. She went back to the resume and read it over, correcting all the mistakes she could find, saving the document onto the desktop so she could go back and delete it after she was finished.
Her heart hammering, she attached the resume to the email, icy dread creeping over her when she heard the distinct sound of the front door opening and Matty’s little voice calling out for her.
Crap. She needed to get out of there quick!
Practically bouncing in the chair, she waited for the resume attachment to load to the email, clicking send as fast as she could. Pushing away from the desk, she fled the office and started down the hall, stopping short when Matty and his father appeared before her.
She didn’t dare remember the last time Matteo caught her using something of his…and what happened afterward.
She’d been in the bathtub, and he’d seen her soaking in bubbles because Claudia had given her the green light to use it. How embarrassing it had been when he caught her sneaking out of his bathroom. And the way he’d kissed her, touched her…her most fond memory ever.
Now she was sneaking around again and she’d barely escaped unscathed.
“Hi,” she said breathlessly, brushing her hair away from her face. “You’re home earlier than I thought you’d be.”
“The weather turned,” Matteo said, his voice low, his head inclined toward the wall of windows in the living area.
Paige looked to her left, where indeed she could see the dark clouds, the rain falling heavily from the sky. “Of course, it did.” That was such a close call. If they’d arrived a few minutes earlier…
“Matty’s tired. Though it’s probably too late for a nap.” Matteo’s velvety deep voice snapped her from her thoughts.
“Early bedtime, then,” she said as she started for Matty.
“No,” Matty wailed with a furious shake of his head, indicating that he was very much exhausted. “I want to stay up longer.”
“It’s not bedtime yet, you silly goose.” She ruffled Matty’s hair. “Come on, let’s go fix you dinner.”
She took his hand and led him toward the kitchen, glancing over her shoulder to see if Matteo was watching.
But he was already gone.
Matteo entered his office, stopping at the edge of his desk, his nose to the air. The unmistakable, contradictory, erotically sweet scent of Paige lingered in the air. Subtle, but so very much there. As if she’d been in the room recently.
Of which she had no reason to be.
He ran his gaze over his surroundings, the desk, glancing about the room. Everything was clean, still in its place, just as he’d left it. The disturbance in the air was more from her scent than anything else. Though he swore her presence still haunted the room, almost as if he could feel her eyes on him.
Such nonsense.
He shook his head at his foolish thoughts.
The afternoon with Matty had been fun. He’d enjoyed seeing the zoo and all its wonders through his son’s eyes. They’d gone to lunch, they’d talked, they’d spent far too much time at a giant toy store and then the rain started, immediately dampening both of their moods.
On the drive home, Matty had declared, “I miss Paige,” rather loudly and Matteo couldn’t help but silently agree.
He always missed Paige when she wasn’t around, as reluctant as he was to admit it.
Settling in behind his computer, he turned it on and typed in his password, wincing at his choice. He’d changed it only a few days ago, a habit he’d formed from working at the office and needing to change his password every few months. Paige had been on his mind—nothing new there—and he’d decided if he couldn’t have her, he could at least have the thrill of typing her name in every time he needed to use his Mac.
More foolish thoughts. The woman had turned him into a downright foolish man.
The browser was open to an unfamiliar email account and he studied it, realization dawning when he saw Paige’s name in the upper left corner.
So she
had
been in his office. Using his computer. He’d told her before, when she first started working for him, that if she needed to use the Internet for anything personal, she was more than welcome to take his laptop. But he’d left it at the office lately, rarely bringing it home now that he had the iMac to work on.
Matteo frowned. He couldn’t blame her if she had a deep need to use the computer, since the one he was supposed to provide her was nowhere in sight. But why didn’t she ask? She asked before doing just about anything. For the love of God, he’d had to break her of the habit of asking to take Matty out to the park when she first started. He was surprised she didn’t ask if she could use the bathroom those first few days she’d been in the apartment, she was so timid.
Knowing he shouldn’t, he glanced at her inbox, his gaze running over the subject lines, the names of the senders. Mostly junk mail from a variety of stores, an email indicating her cell bill was due, another email from someone with the last name Stewart. A relative, most likely.
He was invading her privacy and he wasn’t proud of that fact.
Moving the mouse so the cursor hovered over the red button and exited out of the browser, he paused, jerking the mouse with his hand just as a new email landed in her inbox.
An email sent by the Pavilion Nanny Agency with the subject line
Resume Attached
.
Anger did a slow burn in his stomach, easing into his veins, pounding a throbbing rhythm through his blood. Christ, he knew it. She’d acted suspicious when he found her in the hallway. From the time noted beside the email, she must’ve just sent it when they arrived home.
She was trying to find another job and leave him—and his son—without his knowledge.
The idea both terrified and infuriated him.
Paige avoided him all evening. Not a surprise, considering what he’d found, though she hadn’t a clue that he knew her secrets. Had she planned on sabotaging him right before they were supposed to leave the country? Abandon him and Matty so she could stay behind in New York and start her new job?
At first he’d been angry. So furious he could hardly see straight. But the emotion had slowly worn off as the night went on, until it became a low, worrisome ball of sadness in his gut. That she would walk away so easily, without hardly any notice, hurt him.
Devastated him.
But how could he approach her? Confront her pointblank with what he discovered on the computer? It was her own neglectful fault, leaving the browser up for him to find. Yes, he knew he shouldn’t have dug deeper into her email inbox but it was too late for regret now.
Memories of his past with Lucia crept in. How dramatic she’d always been, how volatile their entire relationship had been from the very start. They’d loved passionately and fought just as passionately those first few years they were a couple. He’d felt a sort of adrenaline-filled madness every time he and Lucia were in a room together and she’d experienced much the same. While the arguing had been dramatic and loud, so had the lovemaking. And in those early years, he’d reveled in it. Thought she was what he wanted.
That desperate sort of madness had slowly ebbed once they were married, until they became so completely dispassionate toward each other, it was difficult to believe they were the same couple. She’d become so cold, distant. To get away from her, he’d thrown himself into his work, their son. When Lucia died, they hadn’t had sex in nearly a year.
He’d become a shell of a man, unfeeling, not caring for his wife. She didn’t matter. So when she was gone, the guilt that had settled over him had been enormous.
Paige was the first woman who made him want to feel again. And she was so wrong for him, it was as if the fates had brought her into his life merely to test him. He’d almost failed many times.
Yet he could let her walk and pass the ultimate test. Let her slip away before he made the fatal mistake of tossing her naked into his bed so he could have his way with her. All night.
Every night.
Running his hand over his head, he gazed unseeingly at the television. He didn’t want her to go. He wanted to keep her. Possess her. Make her his.
It could never be. Not like that. But he’d be damned if he’d let her slip through his fingertips a few days before he left the country. If she made her escape now, he’d never see her again.
He could hardly stand the thought.
Quietly, he plotted. And waited for over an hour after Matty finally went to bed later than usual, considering Matty’s renewed burst of barely contained energy. Finally, Paige had calmed Matty down enough to get him into bed.
All the while, Matteo ran over and over what he would say to her.
Pretending to watch some horrendous movie in the living room, something he rarely—if ever—did, he was extremely aware of Paige’s presence in his home. And he knew without a doubt she was also equally aware of his presence, and it made her uneasy. She spent most of her time in the kitchen while he waited, he could see her from where he sat on the couch. Packing up portable snacks for Matty for the next few days, like she always did. She then sat at the kitchen table with a notepad, no doubt plotting her desertion.
Matteo breathed deep and shook his head. Lord help him, his mother was right. She was prone to the dramatics and so was he.
Finally he couldn’t stand it any longer. After flicking off the TV, he tossed the remote onto the coffee table with a clatter and stood, striding straight into the kitchen toward the table.
She glanced up from her notepad, her eyes going wide when she saw him, her expression full of apprehension. “Is everything all right?” Her voice shook, betraying her nerves.
“No,” he bit out. He thought he could be subtle but the truth was dying to burst out of him. “Tell me why you sent your resume to an employment agency.”
Her lips parted and the pen slipped out of her hand, falling to the tiled floor and rolling under the table. “Wh-what are you talking about?”
“Don’t lie to me, Paige.” Breathing deep, he rested his hands on his hips, glaring at her. “You used my computer. You left the browser open and I saw your inbox. I know you sent Pavilion your resume.”
“I—”
“Why don’t you want to stay with us?” he interrupted. God, he was an ass, but he couldn’t stop the words from coming. He felt downright betrayed by her wanting to go. “We’re leaving for Italy in a week. Matty needs you.”
I need you.
“It’s best that I go.” Her voice was quiet, cool, void of any emotion. “Being here is hard on…all of us.”
“What will be hard is how Matty reacts when you leave him. How can you desert him, Paige? He adores you.” Matteo shook his head.
“Please don’t say that. I’m not deserting him.” Her eyes filled with tears and she blinked them back. Damn it all to hell, his heart softened, and he refused to feel sorry for her. She wanted to
leave
him. “You know I can’t stay here. It’ll be too hard.”
“Why?” he practically growled. “What will be too hard?”
“Being near you. Knowing I—I shouldn’t be with you.” She swiped at the corners of her eyes with both hands, trying to stop the tears that slowly slid down her cheeks. “It’s too difficult, Matteo, and such torture. I’m so afraid. What if we became a couple and then eventually we break up? What if you find someone else and I have to watch you…watch you fall in love with her?”
Swallowing hard, Matteo shook his head. He didn’t want to hear this. He didn’t want to face the harsh, cold realities. “You worry too much.”
“Someone needs to. What would our potential relationship do to Matty? He’d see us together and then when we’d split and I would disappear…that might devastate him, especially after the loss of his mother.”
He was floored. She was bravely laying it all on the line. Declaring her feelings for him while he’d rather hide behind his gruff exterior and claim he didn’t want to touch her for fear of a sexual harassment suit down the line. Or worse, that it was just flat out wrong, with she being his son’s nanny and he being her boss.
But really, he was afraid. Afraid that what they shared could turn into so much more, and that scared him more than he cared to admit.