The Husband Beside Me (The Devil Trilogy Book 2) (33 page)

I watched in horror, looking at the scattered pieces of his violin. It was the only thing that kept him grounded and he broke it without hesitation. I peeled my eyes away and looked at him. His face was severe and devastated, his eyes trying to hide his anguish.

“Is this what you wanted?” I asked softly.

“Addie, if I came into your life again, you wouldn’t even dare look at me twice. I know I was wrong, I know…I fucked up, but tell me, tell me honestly, would you have even looked at me? Would you have agreed to see me? Would you have ever fallen in love with me?” He voice sounded crushed as he laid himself bare to me.

“I don’t know. You never gave me the choice. You never let me see the Daimon I know now. You used my pain. You manipulated me in my darkest hours. You call it love. I call it an infatuation. It’s sick,” I said dejected.

“You said you loved me. That you love me,” he implored.

“That’s what hurts the most. I do love you. I love you so much that I can’t see straight, but you twisted it now. You tainted it!”

“Just don’t leave. You can have the room— you can be in the other room, just don’t leave.” He dropped to his knees and slowly cried. “Please, Addie,” he begged softly. I looked on as I watched the man I love kneel at my feet, broken, both of us now gutted by his lies and deceit. I dropped the suitcase from my hand and cried.

“Addie, I’m sorry,” he said, rising himself from the ground and stepping closer to me. I recoiled and left the room.

“Addie!” he cried out as I headed to the other room and locked myself in. I slid down the door and cried. I placed my hands over my mouth to stifle my sobbing.

“Addie?” Daimon banged on the door, his every thud rippling down to where I sat. “Addie!” he kept calling, but I didn’t answer. I hugged my knees tightly against my body and buried my head into my knees.

“I know I was wrong. I know I fucked up badly, but I’m going to make it better, okay? I’m going to make it up to you. Addie. Fuck, I’m sorry. I did it—I did it— because I love you. I was scared. I’m still scared. Addie, I’m no good but I’m trying to be better. You make me want to be better.” A louder thud hit the door nearly throwing me over. I heard something sliding down the door; it must have been Daimon.

“I love you,” he murmured though his heartbroken voice. I closed my eyes. The Addie I grew to love was now lost again.

I sat there in that position for hours. My body ached, my head hurt and my soul was broken. I rose up quietly and dropped onto the bed. I looked outside through the vertical blinds to see the night sky; the lights of Lower Manhattan lit my room as I curled up in bed, dragging the duvet over me. It was late at night and there was no point in dealing with it all right now.

A soft knock woke me from my restless slumber. “Addie, come out and eat. I’ll leave if you want, but at least eat,” Daimon said quietly.

I sighed heavily as I rose out of bed and headed for the door. I unlocked it and took a deep breath. Daimon stood at the other end of the hallway and watched me. Drako came at my feet and whimpered softly as I walked down the stairs to the kitchen. Daimon had made me breakfast and placed it on the island. I sat down staring at it, not knowing if I could eat.

“If you need space, I’ll leave,” Daimon said from behind me.

“I want a divorce,” I said coldly.

“No!” he snarled.

“Daimon, I want a divorce,” I said again.

“And I said no,” he replied angrily.

“Is this what you want?” I asked.

“I want you,” he said hoarsely.

“I don’t want to be here anymore,” I admitted.

“Addie, if you go forward with a divorce I will sue you for breach of contract. You and I had a deal,” he warned, God, he looked like shit. His face was sunken in, his hair was a mess and the vibrant colors of his eyes were darkened by the shadowy circles that surrounded them.

“Our deal was based on a falsehood. You can’t sue me. I can sue you though; I can sue you for lying to me,” I snapped.

“I will take it all away, Addie,” he said flatly.

“Is this your love? Or the so-called love you have for me? Is this it? I stay because you threaten me?” I asked pointedly.

“No. This isn’t what I want, but I’ll do everything I need to, to keep you. The longer you’re with me, the better chance I have to bring you back to me,” he said seriously.

“You can’t,” I refuted.

“Yes, I can. You love me, Addie, and I love you. I fucked up, but this—this kind of love doesn’t happen every day and I'm not going to lose it. You have me in your heart and that’s where I'm going to stay!” he said vehemently.

“I’m not going to stay here,” I stated.

“Then I’ll follow you. I will go where you go,” he fired back.

“Daimon, what do you think you are doing?” I asked, wondering how far he was going to go with all this.

“It’s called love, Addie, try it sometime,” he retorted.

“Love? Is love when you lie to someone? Is love when you threaten to take everything away? Is love when you make them stay by your side even though they can’t stand you right now?” I argued.

“I’m scared. I’m scared of you, of your eyes and the way they look at me; your words and the way they cut right through my crap. Your body, I want it so badly it drives me fucking nuts. Addie, I'm desperate right now to keep you. I know I hurt you. I know I—” Daimon pleaded.

“You exploited my feelings,” I cried out.

“Yes, I know I did, but fuck, Addie, you were slowly dying. I could see the very light that makes you,
you
diminishing every day. So what that I made you marry me? I knew I wanted you as my wife. It was only a matter of time. I wanted to make your life better, to make you thrive like you’re supposed to. For fuck’s sake, Addie, you were dying a slow death. I wanted to save the woman I love. Is that such a fucking bad thing?” he shouted.

“I need to leave!” I started for the elevator, wanting to run away from him, from the lies he had told me and from the world I thought was finally mine to have.

“Why? Why do you need to leave? Is what I’m saying so hard for you to understand?” he barked.

“No, it’s not! That’s the problem. I can almost agree with you. Yes, you saved me. Yes, I love you, but you lied and manipulated me, now I’m fucking confused and hurt. Right now! Right now, I don’t want this anymore,” I yelled.

“You need space. I’ll give you space, but I’m not giving you up. I’m not giving you a divorce,” he said gruffly.

“You think what you want, Daimon,” I snapped as I headed to leave.

“No. You stay and eat. I will go.” He took his leather motorcycle jacket and left.

The moment Daimon left, it was like I was left bare, alone without his presence to orbit around me. Drako nudged his head and I smiled, looking down at him; his big dark eyes wondering what was happening. “Come on, Drako, let’s go for a walk.” The moment I spoke, he jumped toward me and headed for the elevator waiting. His tail wagged and I sighed.
Now what?

August was hot and humid, the scorched air made it hard to breathe. I sat at the park bench weighed down by what to do. I loved Daimon. He owned me and I gave into him. Not willingly, I fought hard for him not to have me, not to touch an inch of my soul, but the bastard entered in without me realizing it.
Now what?

****

I entered the penthouse. Daimon was sitting alone by the window looking out.

“I thought you would have left,” he said under his breath.

“Drako needed to be walked,” I said quietly. “I'm going to my father’s.”

Daimon let out a heavy sigh. “Why?”

“Because I need to. Being with you is toxic,” I admitted sadly.

“Do you love me?” he asked, still looking out the window his arms crossed.

“I don’t know anymore,” I said, unsettled with my feelings and sense of betrayal I felt.

“Then go,” he murmured.

“What happened to the Daimon who said I couldn’t leave your side?” Why was a part of me hurting so much when he let me go without hesitation? This is what I wanted, right?

“I tried, Addie, and I fucked it up. I tried my way and I destroyed us. No point in holding onto you. You are a dream I wanted so badly and I couldn’t even be honest with you.” He turned his head slightly and looked my way. Daimon was silently crying.

“Go now, now that I can let you go, because I don’t think I’ll have the strength later.” He turned away from me, stifling his cry. The instant his beautiful sky blue eyes veered away from me, my heart stilled and my soul ached.
Now what?