The Maverick Preacher (12 page)

“Tea, then.”

“No, thank you.”

He scowled at her. “You’re making this difficult, Miss Clarke. I want to know about Pearl. The baby’s due in a few weeks. I have a right—”

“You have no rights!”

His eyes narrowed to snakelike slits.

Adie regretted the outburst. She had a strong will, but she couldn’t outstare a man as cold-blooded as the banker. She softened her voice. “The baby’s not due for a month. Pearl’s doing just fine. When the time comes, Bessie will see to them both.”

Adie expected a rant. Instead he reached inside his coat and lifted his wallet. He took out several bills. “Give this to Pearl.”

Adie couldn’t stand the thought of touching the money. Pearl would be revolted.

He shoved it closer. “It’s to pay for a real doctor.”

If Adie took the money, Pearl would be indebted to this man. If she didn’t, Dean’s temper might explode. She risked the explosion. “Thank you, but Pearl’s needs are met.”

She forced her way past him. Walking as fast as she could, she headed for Mary’s café. Behind her she heard the rattle of the carriage, then Dean’s voice coming from the backseat. “You’ll regret that, Miss Clarke.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Then think again.”

He tapped the seat with his gold-tipped walking stick. The driver gave the horses free rein and they picked up their pace, stirring dust as the carriage passed her. Shaking, Adie watched him go, then hurried into the restaurant, where she saw Mary serving a man at a back table. She couldn’t see his face, but she recognized the angle of Josh’s shoulders. Mary waved her forward.

Common sense told Adie to leave, but her insides felt like jelly. She needed tea and safety. Being with Josh offered both, so she walked to his table. At the sight of her, he stood and gave a slight bow. His fancy manners unnerved her even more and she wished she’d left the café.

He touched her arm. “Are you all right?”

“I’m—I just—”

He pulled out a chair. “Sit.”

Mary urged her into it. “I’m bringing tea.”

As the waitress hurried away, Adie took a breath to steady herself. Her chest felt as if horses were galloping inside her ribs. As Josh held her hand, the gallop turned to a dead run.

“What happened?” he said.

“I saw Franklin Dean.”

She told him about the money for Pearl and how she’d refused it. When she described Dean blocking her path, his mouth thinned to a line.

Mary brought the tea but couldn’t stay. Adie lifted a spoon to add sugar, but her hand shook so badly that the crystals showered the table. Josh took the spoon from her fingers, put the sugar in her cup, then added a second spoonful and a dash of milk. He knew exactly how she took her tea, a sign that he’d been watching her every move.

Using both hands, she raised the cup and sipped. If she
hadn’t managed on her own, Josh would have held it to her lips. All her life, she’d stayed strong for other people. Josh wanted to be strong for
her.
What would it be like to lean on this man? Adie didn’t want to know. He posed a threat of his own. Shaking, she set the cup on the saucer. Frightened or not, she had to finish her story. “Dean threatened me.”

“What did he say?”

“That I’d regret not taking the money for Pearl.”

Josh’s fingers curled into a fist. “That low-down—” He clamped his jaws.

Adie wanted to do more than call Dean names. “The broken window, the garden…I don’t know what he’ll do next.”

“We need to see Deputy Morgan.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

Adie knew about Josh’s visit to the sheriff’s office. He’d reported the garden incident and nothing had been said about Maggie, but that could change. Besides, what if Josh
wasn’t
Stephen’s uncle? What if a man as evil as Maggie had described was still looking for her? She wanted as little exposure to the law as possible. She shook her head. “It’ll make things worse.”

“So will doing nothing.”

“But…” She couldn’t think of a single excuse.

“We’ll go right now.”

“Tomorrow.” Her insides were still trembling and she couldn’t think straight. If the sheriff asked questions, she had to be calm.

Josh’s mouth tightened. “Tomorrow it is.”

Behind Adie, a plate crashed on the tile floor. She jumped as if she’d heard gunfire.

Josh clasped her hand. The warmth of it stole her breath. It took away the terror of Dean’s threats and the coldness of being alone. She raised her gaze and saw the heat of war in his eyes.
This man would fight for her. She wanted to fight for him, too. She’d fed him bread and milk. She’d seen him hurting and she’d seen him heal. If she couldn’t trust Josh, whom could she trust? Surely he wouldn’t pull Stephen from her arms?

He deserved the truth about Maggie and Emily. He’d become a friend, but the possibilities scared Adie to death. Josh had integrity. He’d want to give Stephen his place in Boston and the family business. Adie felt sick with fear, but her guilt weighed more. She couldn’t bear it, not while peering into Josh’s eyes. Color flooded her cheeks. She looked at her lap, but she couldn’t hide from his presence.

He touched her cheek. “Secrets hurt, Adie.”

She bit her lip.

“Did someone harm you?”

She cringed.

“Did you fight to protect yourself?” His voice dropped to a whisper. “No matter what you did, I’ll help you.”

No, he wouldn’t. He’d take her son to Boston. He’d hate her for hiding the truth. She’d couldn’t tell Josh about Maggie, but she had to say
something
to make him leave her alone. “Someday I’ll tell you about it.”

She’d opened the door a tiny crack, but it was enough for the truth to shine. If she confessed to Josh, she’d be free of the guilt. Even in his black coat, he was a human being, a man with a good heart.

He squeezed her hand.

She squeezed back and felt strangled. Maybe for now, she’d said enough.

They sat in silence until Mary arrived with two pieces of pie. The dessert reminded Adie of Caroline and how she’d used Josh’s first name. His feelings for Caroline were none of Adie’s business, but she couldn’t stop herself from feeling jealous. Someday Caroline would marry and have children.
Adie never would. She had too many secrets. She lifted her fork. “It’s apple.”

“It’s good,” he said.

She forced a smile. “It’s not as good as Caroline’s.”

He stopped with his fork midway to his mouth, then lowered it. “I’ve got a problem, don’t I?”

Adie didn’t want to jump to conclusions. “What do you mean?”

“You haven’t noticed?”

For once she could tell the truth. “Actually, we all have.”

“Emily used to be my buffer. She’d spread the word—” he hooked his fingers to make quote marks “—Reverend Blue isn’t interested in marriage.”

Adie thought Josh would be a fine husband. “Why not?”

“Lots of reasons.”

She waited for details, but he took a bite of pie. It felt good to ask questions instead of answering them, so she smiled at him. “Now who’s keeping secrets?”

His lips curved up, but his eyes had a tinge of sadness. “It’s not a secret. My work matters to me more than anything. Getting married—having a family—takes a big piece of a man’s life. Without that responsibility, I can give everything to my work.”

“So you’ll never marry?”

“Probably not.” The sadness returned to his eyes. “It’s one of the reasons I have to find Emily. Her child’s an heir to a fortune.”

Adie gasped.

Josh looked quizzical. “You’re surprised.”

Until now she’d thought only of losing Stephen, not about what he’d gain by taking the Blue family name. If Josh claimed Stephen as his nephew, her son would have the finest clothes and a good education. He wouldn’t eat broth for supper or wear old shoes as Adie did. The pie in her mouth turned to dust. She sipped her tea, but it had gone cold.

Josh took another bite of his dessert. He looked pleased. “I hope I find Emily soon. I’m going to love being an uncle.”

Adie forced herself to smile. “You think so?”

“Definitely. Holding Stephen was the best feeling in the world.” Josh set down his fork. “I envy you, Adie. You struggle with money, but you’ve got a beautiful son and wonderful friends. Someday you’ll fall in love. You’ll get married and have more children.”

Could he torment her more? She had too many burdens to consider marriage. She had jewelry to hide and a secret to keep. Sometimes she wondered about marriage, but she pushed the notion aside. She had Stephen. Being a mother was enough.

Josh broke into her thoughts. “So tell me,
Miss
Clarke, does some Denver gentleman have his eye on you?”

“Not hardly.” She decided to turn the tables. “What about you,
Reverend
Blue? You must have broken a few hearts in Boston.”

“I don’t think so.” His gaze lingered on her face. “Sometimes, though, I wonder what it would be like.”

His eyes glimmered with a discord that matched her own. Was he lonely? Did he think about sharing sunsets and morning coffee? She did, more than ever since he’d come to Swan’s Nest. She was thinking about such things now, but those feelings could only cause trouble. To distract herself, she took another bite of pie. It tasted sweet, but she barely noticed. The way Josh looked at her had been even sweeter.

As he’d said, sometimes she wondered.

“T
ake it away, Lord. This feeling for Adie—” Josh groaned out loud.

The sun had set hours ago. After supper, he’d helped with the dishes, then gone out the back door to avoid seeing any of the women. He wanted to speak with Pearl but didn’t have the heart for it. Tonight his thoughts were on Adie, and he didn’t like the direction they’d taken. How could he think about staying in Denver when Emily was still missing? As for the second turn his thoughts had taken, he had no business courting Adie or any woman. He needed to be alone to pray, so he’d gone to the far end of the flower garden.

He stood there now, a man with anxious thoughts. Josh had noticed pretty women before now, but he’d never felt a stirring in his soul the way he did for Adie. When she smiled, he felt joy. When she wept, he tasted salt. Yesterday she’d been afraid and he’d wanted to murder Franklin Dean. No one—not even Emily—had ever inspired such deep feelings.

Neither had he felt a worry like the one in his gut. Adie was in trouble; he felt sure of it. Every time he mentioned going to the law, she balked. For the past hour, Josh’s imag
ination had run amuck. Women traveled west for all sorts of reasons. Having Stephen out of wedlock explained her secrecy but not her reaction to seeing the sheriff. When it came to shame, she had nothing to hide from him. She knew he wouldn’t stand in judgment. That’s why he’d told her about Emily.

She had something else to hide, something with grave consequences. Had she committed a crime? Josh looked at Swan’s Nest and recalled the question he’d considered when he’d first arrived. Even with a loan, how had she been able to buy a mansion? The possibilities made his belly hurt. Maybe she’d been a servant in a fine home. She could have stolen jewelry and taken a westbound train. Maybe she’d been abused and had seen the theft as her only escape. His mind went down a dark alley, a place full of violence and tears. Had she been raped? Had she killed her attacker to save herself?

She’d suffered and the pain hadn’t eased. It wouldn’t until she faced the past, but at what cost? The thought of Adie going to prison filled him with horror. Stephen would be ripped from his mother’s arms. If Bessie or Caroline didn’t take him, he’d go to a foundling home. Pearl had problems of her own. Mary had secrets.

That left Josh. He’d never expected to have a family, but he wanted one now. Adie made him feel alive. When she entered a room, his heart sped up. His eyes would find hers and his soul would settle.

“Why, Lord?” he said to the moon. “I can’t stay in Denver. I have to find Emily.” He kept his eyes on the stars. “After that, you’ve called me to preach, but where?”

Josh’s thoughts ran wild. The Lord was everywhere, including Denver. His congregation at Brick’s had doubled in size. The growth indicated fertile ground. He didn’t care about the number for the sake of his pride, but it proved he’d planted
seeds and they’d sprouted. He wanted to water those seeds and watch them grow.

God had planted another seed, one Josh couldn’t deny. He’d fallen in love with Adie. Had a man ever given her flowers? He wanted to be the first. As for the other firsts in a woman’s life, someone had taken her innocence and used it to hurt her. Josh cared for Adie’s sake but not his own. When he looked at her, he saw virtue and perfect beauty.

Once he found Emily, he could return to Denver and court Adie properly. But when would that be? How much longer was he destined to search? Josh looked at the stars. He saw God’s power in every single one and thought of Adie sitting in the café, pale and trembling because of Franklin Dean. Or was it because of
him?
Did she return his affection?

Someone gasped.

Josh looked down the path from the house and saw Adie turning back. In Boston he never met with women alone. He’d been careful to protect his reputation as well as theirs. Adie deserved the same consideration, but he couldn’t let her leave. A woman didn’t wander alone at midnight unless she had a troubled heart.

“Adie?”

She stopped but didn’t turn.

He kept his voice light. “Can’t sleep?”

“I haven’t tried.” She faced him then. Moonlight revealed her upturned chin. “I wanted some air. That’s all.”

Josh thought of the times Emily had questioned him about his “stomach medicine.” He’d worn a similar look, one that mixed defiance and desperation. Emily had been intimidated by the defiance and had left him alone. He wished she’d seen the desperation and taken him to task. Adie needed help. If she’d let Josh get close, God had the power to turn ugliness to something good.

Before Josh found the words, Adie broke the silence. “About the sheriff tomorrow, I’ve changed my mind.”

His heart plummeted. “Why?”

“He can’t help me.”

“We don’t know that.”

“I do,” she said. “Now if you’ll excuse me—”

“No,” he said. “I won’t.”

The only other time he’d spoken so forcefully to a woman had been the night Emily left. He hated himself for that outburst, but he felt no remorse for being firm now. Adie needed to face the truth.

Her face tensed with outrage, then softened with a yearning Josh understood in his gut. How many times had he hoped someone would find the laudanum and free him from the lie? He suspected Adie felt the same way, but confronting her came with a risk. She could order him to leave Swan’s Nest. She might never speak to him again. He found the thought intolerable, but neither could he leave her to suffer.

Honesty required courage. He needed it now. Knowing Adie might come to hate him, he spoke with authority. “Are you wanted by the law? Is that your secret?”

“It’s none of your business.”

He indicated Swan’s Nest with a sweep of his arm. “This house…where did you get the money? Even with a loan—”

“What are you saying?” Her voice trembled.

“I’m afraid for you.”

“Don’t be.”

“Dean could do real harm.” He gestured at the vegetable garden. “He’s evil, but I’m even more worried about what you’re not telling me.”

Adie pulled a thin shawl around her shoulders. “There’s nothing you can do.”

“I can listen.”

She sealed her lips.

“If you need an attorney, I’ll hire one.”

Her mouth gaped.

“Whatever you did, it can be forgiven. I’ll help you through it, Adie. If you stole—”

“I didn’t.” Her voice dropped low. “At least not money.”

Her confession confused him. “What
did
you steal?”

She’d stolen the truth. She had it hidden in the trunk. No matter what she’d promised Maggie, Josh had a right to know if Maggie and Emily were the same woman. Adie had robbed him of that opportunity. She’d come to the garden to avoid him and had stumbled into a trap of her own making. Lies led to more lies. She couldn’t bear to look at him, but neither could she flee. If she didn’t answer his questions now—at least in part—he’d keep asking.

Yesterday Bessie had urged her to tell Josh the truth. Later Mary had cornered her in the laundry room. Caroline hadn’t mentioned Stephen’s birth, but Adie had seen her looking closely at the baby, then at Josh. No one had told him she’d adopted the child, but the truth could slip. She could lose everything.

“Talk to me, Adie.”

He took a slow step in her direction, then a second and a third. She smelled roses, then the starch of his shirt. She tried to put him in the same camp as Reverend Honeycutt but couldn’t. Without knowing her mistake, he’d offered to help her. She could have committed murder and he’d look at her with the same understanding.

Adie weighed her choices. She could tell the truth and hope for the best. She could spin a tale about a rich uncle or make up a dead fiancé. Or she could say nothing. The last option appealed to her, but she doubted she had the strength. She ached to be free of the guilt. Even stronger was the desire
to free Josh. They stood face-to-face, breathing in the same rhythm and feeling the same confusion. When the tears spilled down her cheeks, he wiped them with his thumb. No one had ever touched her with such tenderness. Weakened, her shoulders rolled forward. She cupped her face in her hands, but a sob still burst from her throat.

With his arm around her shoulders, Josh guided her to a stone bench, where they sat side by side, hips close but not touching. Slowly, as if they were made of wet clay, they leaned against each other.

“Cry it out,” he murmured.

But she couldn’t. Tears wouldn’t cleanse her. Only the truth could set her free and she feared it more than ever. She jerked upright.

He kept his hand on her back. “I don’t care what you’ve done, Adie. You need to confide in someone.”

“It’s private.”

“I’ll take your secret to the grave.” He touched her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. “If you can’t tell me, take it to God.”

She thought of Timothy Long and Reverend Honeycutt, then Maggie dying in spite of their shared prayers. She jumped to her feet and turned on Josh. “Where was God when my mother died? I was twelve and all alone. I tried to bury her myself, but I couldn’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Where was God when Timothy Long did what he did?” Her voice shook. “And when Reverend Honeycutt sent me away like trash! Where was God when—”
When Maggie died.
She choked back a cry. Just as she feared, the truth had come to a boil.

Josh stood and clasped her hands. She tried to pull away, but he tugged her closer…closer still…until he held her in
his arms and she was weeping on his shirt. She wanted to stop but couldn’t. Safe in his arms, she wept for the frightened girl who’d been run out of her hometown. Through choked sobs, she told him about that year in the Long house, how Timothy had abused her and how Reverend Honeycutt had sent her away.

His arms tightened around her. “No wonder you feel bad when I mention Emily. I’m sorry, Adie. You deserved better.”

So did Josh. He deserved the truth.

He tucked her head against his shoulder. “Timothy Long…Is he Stephen’s father?”

She thought of Maggie bleeding out and her deathbed promise. What mattered more? Josh’s peace of mind or Adie’s word to Maggie? Josh had a good heart. That goodness could compel him to take his nephew home.

She wiped her nose. “Stephen’s my son. That’s all you need to know.”

As she broke from his arms, she noticed the smell of roses for the second time. The fragrance reminded her of Maggie’s burial. Across the hedge she saw the remaining vegetables. The single cornstalk had the jangled look of a skeleton. The tomato plants hung in a lifeless tangle, a reminder of Franklin Dean and his assault on Swan’s Nest.

Josh stepped to her side. “I know you’ve suffered, Adie. I know it doesn’t make sense.”

She sniffed. “No, it doesn’t.”

“Honeycutt failed you.”

Her eyes burned with the memory of boarding the train out of Liddy’s Grove. The Honeycutts had arranged for her to work for relatives of theirs in Nebraska. Traveling alone, she’d gotten looks from strangers and had been afraid. The cousins had been decent folk, but Adie had been a servant when she longed to be a daughter, a sister. After a year, she’d left. She’d
gone to Topeka where she’d struggled to find work. In the end, she’d been reduced to sweeping saloons and eating scraps.

Everything had changed when she’d seen Maggie Butler, obviously with child, walk proudly into the Topeka Hotel. On a whim, Adie had approached her and asked if she needed a maid.

“No,” she’d said. “But I desperately need a friend.”

The memory made Adie sniff. She turned to look at Swan’s Nest. She hoped Maggie would be proud.

Adie felt Josh standing behind her, gazing at the mansion rising tall and dark against the purple sky. Not a single light burned in the windows, but nothing could hide the house’s grandeur. The mansion brought them back to the questions of money and stealing.

He clasped her shoulders, then turned her to face him. His voice, low and strong, filled her ears. “You
know
I’m not like Honeycutt. You can trust me, Adie.”

“I can’t trust anyone,” she insisted. “But I’m telling the truth. I didn’t steal the money for Swan’s Nest. And I’m not wanted by the law.”

“Then Stephen’s father—”

“No.”

He tightened his grip. “Talk to me, Adie. I care about you.”

His confession sent tremors to his hands. Josh looked startled, but his eyes held no regret. Instead he broke a rose off the hedge and handed it to her. “If it weren’t for Emily, I’d stay in Denver. I’d bring you flowers like this one.”

Adie pinched the stem, raised the petals to her nose and sniffed. She could love this man…except he was a minister and she’d been living a lie. Neither did she share his love of God. She lowered the rose and looked up. Josh clasped her shoulders. His eyes drifted shut as if he were in pain, then he bowed his head and kissed her forehead. She felt cherished, even blessed, until guilt flooded through her.

Angry at herself for the lies and at God for the pain, she stepped back. “You’re very kind, Josh. But there’s no place for you in Denver.”
Or in my life.

He lowered his voice. “I’m not so sure.”