Read The Maverick Preacher Online
Authors: Victoria Bylin
Her presence gave Josh the strength he needed to go back to that night in Boston.
To fully appreciate my dilemma, you need to know that your uncle is a famous minister. People travel miles to hear him, though I don’t know why! In those final weeks—when I knew you were on the way—I’d listen to him spout about righteousness and obedience and wonder if he had a drop of warm blood in his body. Josh, you see, is perfect.
At least
he
thinks he is.
I love God, too! God loves me. Jesus died for my sins and I know it. Josh doesn’t think he has any sins. Well, he’s wrong. That night, he became a murderer. The Bible says he who has anger in his heart might as well have committed murder. I’ve never seen Josh angrier than when I told him about you. I’d mustered my courage and I’d whispered the simple fact.
“I’m with child.”
He ranted at me. He paced like a lion about to eat me. He didn’t ask me who or why. He ignored the tears streaming down my face. My clearest memory is of the moment he pounded the table.
“Blast it, Emily! I have a reputation to uphold.”
His
reputation? What about
my child?
I was lost and broken and terrified. In the weeks after Dennis left, I’d had time to weigh the consequences of our recklessness. We should have waited. We should have found another way, one that protected our child. I couldn’t feed you without help. I had nowhere to go except to Josh, who turned his back on me. I didn’t think I could be more wounded, but his next words filled me with a pain I’d never known.
“Leave Boston, Emily. Give the baby away.”
“No!” I cried.
“I’m
ordering
you to leave.”
He started blathering about a long visit with cousins in Rhode Island. When I refused, he called me a horrible name. I ran to my room and packed my things. I heard him prowling in the hall. He pounded on my door, but I didn’t answer. When the house finally quieted, I crept down the stairs with a valise and my jewelry and walked two miles in the cold to the train station.
Josh looked up at Adie. “Every word is true.”
“I don’t care,” she insisted. “You wouldn’t say those things again.”
“No, but I said them once.”
If he’d learned anything this past year, it was one simple truth. Mistakes could be forgiven, but consequences weren’t so easily erased. Stephen proved his point. So did the pain in Emily’s journal. Josh had dedicated his life to preaching
God’s forgiveness because he needed it so badly. He couldn’t change the past, but with God’s grace he could claim a better future. He wanted that new start for himself. Hoping to find it, he focused on Emily’s next words.
After leaving Boston, I sent a note to my best friend. She knew about Dennis, and I didn’t want her to worry. I told her my plans. I intended to find your father in St. Louis and make a new life. That night I vowed to never return home, to never speak to Josh again. Even when I stood at your father’s grave, I knew I’d keep that promise. Oh, child. The sadness! I found Dennis’s cousin easily. He recognized me from the picture Dennis kept by his bed. As gently as he could, he told me your father had died of influenza.
“He’d been workin’ too hard, Miss Blue. He saved every penny for you. Wouldn’t even see a doctor.”
That foolish man and his pride! My jewelry would have supported us for years. We could have married! We could have left Boston together, but he’d made me promise to wait until he’d made his own way. I weep for him every day. You, sweet child, are my comfort, my joy. You’re the reason I know God has forgiven my sins. Only a loving God, a good and kind God, would share with human beings the joy of creation. You, my baby, are a miracle.
Know that I love you and always will. Someday I hope to tell you this story in person, but I know the uncertainties of life. If something happens to me, you’ll have these words, a picture of me but not your father, and whatever is left of the jewelry.
With deepest love,
Your mother
Josh looked at the bottom of the page and saw writing that wasn’t so perfect. These, he realized, were his sister’s final words, written on her deathbed when she was bleeding and weak.
Dear Stephen,
My son! The struggle…I’m dying. Know that I love you. Adie is my best friend. She’ll be a good mother. She—
So ended the journal, cut off in midsentence just as Emily’s life had been cut short by tragedy. With his eyes red rimmed and hurting, both from the fire and the strain of reading, Josh bowed his head.
Dear Lord, don’t let Emily’s suffering be in vain. I’ll serve You wherever, however, You ask.
Sometimes the Lord spoke to Josh through scripture he’d memorized. Other times he felt a quiet certainty. Tonight his heart beat with a new sense of purpose. Startled, he looked at Adie and saw the future with a sudden clarity. She needed a husband. Stephen needed a father. He loved her and wanted to marry her, but how could he? Adie believed in God but didn’t share his commitment.
He didn’t know what to say or do until she spoke the words that pointed the way.
“I’m going to church on Sunday.”
Adie opened her mouth before she could change her mind. As Josh read Emily’s words, she’d seen him grimace. Once he’d shut his eyes and groaned as if he’d been struck. She cared for this man. She’d do anything to make him happy.
To his credit, his mouth didn’t gape. “I’m glad.”
She wondered if she’d lost her mind. “It might be just once.”
“Whatever you want.”
That was the problem. Adie didn’t know what she wanted. Reverend Honeycutt had sent her away. Old Man Long had ranted about hell and judgment. Josh was different, but he worshipped the same demanding God. As the candle sent shadows across his jaw, she saw the straight line of his mouth. She didn’t know what Emily had written, but Josh had taken it hard.
She hurt for him. “Emily didn’t forgive you, did she?”
“Not a bit. In the end, she hated me even more.” He handed her the journal. “This belongs to Stephen.”
As she took it, Josh stood and so did she. As he lifted the candle, gold light pulled them into the same circle. A half smile softened his mouth. “Thank you for staying. You made this easier.”
“I’m glad.”
She hugged the journal because she couldn’t hug Josh. The smile climbed to his eyes. He motioned for her to go into the house, then guided her with his hand on her back. When they reached the stairs, he stopped and raised the candle to illuminate the steps. Their eyes locked in the shadows, but neither of them moved. She wanted to tell him that she hurt for him. She wanted to kiss his cheek and reassure him that he wasn’t an ogre. She wanted to tell him that she admired him, but she couldn’t. Emily no longer stood between them, but his faith did.
He stepped back, then spoke with a hush. “Good night, Adie.”
“Good night.”
As she climbed the stairs, questions for Josh swirled in her mind.
You’ve been hurt. How can you still trust God? Where was He when my mother died?
She had to fight the urge to turn around. Josh stayed until she reached her room; then the stairwell went dark. She went to the trunk, where she put away the journal and the jewelry and closed the lid. If she’d been speaking to God, she would have prayed for Josh. She would
have thanked the Almighty for Stephen’s life. Instead she spoke to Maggie…Emily now.
“He’s changed.”
Silence.
“You’d like him, Emily. You’d love him again.”
Adie knew, because she felt that love now. The admission stole her breath. She’d fallen in love with Joshua Blue. A man…a minister. She’d lost her mind. No matter what the future held, Josh would always be a man of faith. He needed a wife who shared that passion. Could she be that woman? Adie didn’t know, but she was willing to find out. This Sunday, she’d go to church in Brick’s Saloon. She’d be among friends and she’d listen.
L
ate the next morning, Adie heard someone knocking on the front door. Bessie, Caroline and Mary had gone to work in spite of their exhaustion. Pearl had stayed upstairs and Josh was outside, cleaning up the mess from the fire. When the visitor knocked again, she peeked through the drapes and saw a horse and buggy she didn’t recognize. Her stomach dropped to her toes. She couldn’t imagine who’d come calling, but she knew Franklin Dean had allies. No way would she open the door.
“It’s my father!”
She turned and saw Pearl lumbering down the stairs. She was clutching the railing, but Adie worried she’d fall. “Be careful.”
“It’s him,” she said again. “I looked out the window.”
Adie was concerned about Pearl’s health. They’d had a rough night and the mother-to-be didn’t need the upset. “I’ll tell him to leave.”
“No,” Pearl cried. “Let him in.”
Against her better judgment, Adie opened the door. The last time she’d seen Reverend Oliver, he’d stood tall in a crisp frock coat. Today he looked haggard. So did the coat.
He took off his hat, revealing thick silver hair. “Thank you
for seeing me, Miss Clarke. I heard about the fire. My daughter…is she all right?”
“She’s fine.”
“And the baby?”
His tone didn’t change. He feared as much for his grandchild as he did for Pearl. Adie glanced over her shoulder and saw the mother-to-be coming forward to answer the question herself. Adie pushed the door wide and stepped back.
Pearl froze at the threshold. “I’m fine, Papa. Thank you for—”
Reverend Oliver strode through the door, pulled his daughter into a hug and rocked her back and forth. In a torrent of choked words, he apologized for every mistake of the past months. When Pearl started to cry, he stepped back and gripped her hands in both of his. “Can you possibly forgive me?”
Her face paled. “How much do you know?”
“Everything.” He clenched his jaw. “Reverend Blue paid a call on me. I know about the buggy ride and Frank’s last visit. Now the fire—” He sealed his lips. “He forced you, didn’t he?”
Tears welled in Pearl’s eyes. “Let’s sit down.”
Adie, with a lump in her throat, slipped into the kitchen. As she busied herself with a pot of tea, Josh came through the back door. His shirt, a blue chambray, would need a good scrubbing and speckles of soot darkened his face. Underneath the grime, she saw bluish circles under his eyes. He’d been up all night and it showed.
As their gazes met, she recalled the emotion of the journal and her sudden decision to go to church. After she’d gone to bed, she’d tossed all night with dreams of Liddy’s Grove and Franklin Dean. She’d become so angry that she’d pummeled her pillow and cursed her enemies. Just before dawn, she’d changed her mind about going to Brick’s for church. She
didn’t want to reveal her upset, but she had to tell Josh about her change of heart.
Looking tired but relaxed, he leaned his hips against the counter. “The mess from the woodpile’s gone.”
“Thank you.”
“I’ll get paint for the wall.”
She swiped at a speck of dust. “I should pay for that.”
“Let me,” he said easily.
“You shouldn’t. You’re a guest.”
She kept wiping the counter. With the lightness of a bird, Josh brought his hand down on hers and stopped the motion. “Is that what I am, Adie? A
guest?
”
She hung her head.
His voice stayed low. “I thought we were friends.”
“We are.”
“Then allow me to buy the paint.” He raised his hand, freeing her but leaving a memory of his long fingers and a trace of soot. It was a silly quarrel, one that had nothing to do with whitewash and everything to do with Adie attending church. She didn’t want to explain why, so she looked for an excuse. “About Sunday…I can’t go to Brick’s after all. Someone should stay with Pearl.”
“I’ll ask Bessie.”
So much for that excuse. She hunted for another. “I’d feel bad leaving Stephen.”
“You can bring him.”
“What if he cries?”
Adie knew a lame excuse when she heard one and so did Josh. He looked her square in the eye. “He can bellow all he wants. I’ll hold him myself.”
He reached for her hand. The strength of his grip made her feel small and obvious, as if he could see right through her. She looked into his eyes, then wished she hadn’t.
He kept his voice low. “You’re scared, aren’t you?”
“I’m not
scared,
” she insisted. “It’s just that…I don’t know exactly.”
“You’ve been hurt.”
“Yes.”
“And you’re angry.”
Her eyes blazed. “I am, but I don’t want to be. Not anymore.”
“That fight is between you and God,” Josh said. “He’s everywhere, but sometimes He’s easier to find when a person goes looking.”
Adie didn’t know, but she wondered about such things. In spite of Pearl’s trouble, she had peace. Mary still kept a loaded derringer, but she’d been smiling more and her humor had lost its sarcasm. They both had as much cause as Adie to be resentful, but neither of them held grudges. Neither did Bessie or Caroline. Adie wanted that calm. She also wanted to please Josh. She cared for him. She was raising his nephew and felt obliged to honor his beliefs.
Looking glum, she said, “All right. I’ll go.”
His eyes twinkled. “It won’t be
that
bad.”
When she sighed, he laughed. “What? You think I’ll bore you to death?” In a deep, droning voice, he imitated a very dull preacher.
When she laughed out loud, his eyes twinkled with pleasure. “You won’t be sorry, Adie. I promise.”
When she looked into his eyes, she believed him. A month ago he’d collapsed on her porch. He was still lean, but he had a strength of both body and character that inspired trust. Every man she’d known had let her down, but Josh had stayed true. She’d helped him, too. Between Buttons and Adie’s cooking, he’d recovered from the ulcer. The thought pleased her. “Are you hungry? I could make you a sandwich.”
“I’d like that.”
As she took a fresh loaf from the bread box, she thought about the simple pleasure of bread. She didn’t recall many of Reverend Honeycutt’s sermons, but she remembered him calling Jesus the bread of life. Adie knew about going hungry and being filled. Sometimes, especially when she’d feared losing Stephen, she’d felt as if her life were nothing but crumbs. Now she didn’t. Going to church sounded better by the minute, but only because she trusted Josh and didn’t feel intimidated by Brick’s Saloon. She’d worked in shabby places just like it. Reverend Honeycutt wouldn’t be anywhere in sight.
As she handed Josh the sandwich, she recalled Pearl and her father in the parlor. “By the way,” she said, “Reverend Oliver is here.”
“I thought he’d stop by.” Josh had been about to take a bite, but he lowered the sandwich. “I didn’t break your confidence, Adie. But I said enough to make him think twice about Franklin Dean.”
“I’m glad you did.” After her experience with secrets, she never wanted to keep one again. “Pearl was happy to see him.”
“Good.”
“He apologized to her.”
Josh’s expression turned wistful. She knew he was thinking of Emily. “I’m glad.”
“Me, too.” The voice belonged to Pearl.
Adie turned to the doorway and saw her friend, large with child and beaming with joy. Dried tears streaked her cheeks, but nothing could dim her smile as she looked at Josh. “I can’t thank you enough.”
He waved off her gratitude. “You just did.”
She shifted her gaze to Adie. “Would you both come into the parlor? My father and I have something to tell you.”
Had she decided to report Dean to the law? Adie hoped so,
but that decision belonged to Pearl. Adie would support her no matter what she decided. She followed her friend into the parlor and sat with her on the divan. Reverend Oliver had the armchair, so Josh sat across from Adie.
The old man looked first at her. “Miss Clarke, I want to thank you for helping my daughter. When I failed her, you gave her a home. If there’s ever anything I can do—”
“I was glad to help,” Adie said shyly.
Pearl squeezed her hand. “You’re my best friend.”
Adie felt honored.
Reverend Oliver cleared his throat. “Pearl and I have come to a decision. In fact, we’ve come to two of them. One concerns Franklin Dean. I’ll get to that one. The second concerns the future. As soon as my grandchild’s strong enough to travel, the three of us will be leaving Denver.”
Adie pulled her friend into a hug. “I’ll miss you, but it’s what you wanted.”
Reverend Oliver told them that he’d sent a wire to his niece in Cheyenne and she’d already answered. She had a large empty house and would welcome their company.
“Does she know about the baby?” Adie asked.
Pearl looked troubled. “I want to explain in person.”
“Of course.” Adie squeezed her hand. “If you have trouble of any kind, you
know
you can come back here.”
Pearl smiled. “I do.”
Tobias cleared his throat. “I’m looking forward to the change, but there’s a problem.”
“What is it, sir?” Josh asked.
“I’m worried about my congregation here in Denver. You’re young, Josh. You’ve got a heart for the Lord and a level head. I’m hoping you’ll take my place.”
Josh held up his hands, palm-out to signal a hard stop. “Don’t even
think
about it.”
“Why not?” asked the older man.
“I know my place, and it’s not in a big church.”
The tension drained from Adie’s spine. She could manage a service in a saloon, but Colfax Avenue Church landed her back in Kansas with Reverend Honeycutt. If a church had stained glass, she wanted nothing to do with it.
Reverend Oliver steepled his fingers. “You sound very sure, maybe
too
sure.”
“I appreciate the offer, sir. But I can’t take your pulpit.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“They’re the same,” Josh answered. “I left an established church in Boston. I’ll never pastor another one.”
“Why not?
“It’s a long story, one I’ll tell you another time.”
“All right,” said Reverend Oliver. “But I’d like to challenge you.”
“Go ahead.”
“Examine your heart, Josh. Are you living to serve God or serving God to avoid living?”
Josh started to speak, but the older man held up his hand. “Don’t answer yet. Read Psalm 139.”
Adie recognized the psalm Josh had taught at the Bible study. Even
she
knew the substance of it. David had asked God to search his heart. He’d given the Lord his anxious thoughts.
Reverend Oliver stared hard at Josh. “Pray about it, son.”
“I will.”
His voice carried just a trace of longing, but Adie heard it. She flashed to the day he’d walked with her to the bank. He’d seen the church and had wanted to go inside. She saw that look now and it scared her. She could handle a church of misfits in a dusty saloon, but she couldn’t tolerate the spit and polish of Colfax Avenue Church. The women all wore the latest fashions. The men carried watch fobs and gold-tipped walking
sticks like Franklin Dean. Worst of all, not a single member of the congregation had called on Pearl.
Reverend Oliver’s jaw tightened. “This leads us to Franklin Dean. He has to be stopped.”
On that, they all agreed.
“What do you suggest?” Josh asked.
The older man aimed his chin at Pearl. “This is my daughter’s decision, but I support it fully.”
As Pearl straightened her back, her belly made an even bigger bulge. The baby could arrive at any time. Adie had seen Maggie die in childbirth. She didn’t want to lose Pearl. With her thin bones and white-blond hair, she looked too fragile for the rigors of birth.
Frail or not, Pearl set her jaw. “In a perfect world, I’d report Frank to the authorities and he’d go to prison. But this world isn’t perfect. A trial would come down to my word against his and he’d win.”
She was right. They all knew it.
“He may be the most powerful man in Denver,” Pearl continued. “But he’s
not
the most powerful woman. I’m sending notes to the elders’ wives. I’m going to tell them to keep their daughters away from him and why. It’s not gossip. I
know
what he did to me. If I don’t speak up, he’ll hurt someone else.”
“That’s right,” Adie said.
Tobias beamed at his daughter with pride. “It won’t be easy.”
Adie knew from experience that Pearl’s stand would come at a cost. Some women would thank her. Others would accuse her of causing her own problems. In the days before Adie left Liddy’s Grove, she’d felt the same daggers in her back.
Josh focused on Reverend Oliver. “You told me Dean’s on the elder board.”
“That’s right.”