The nurse stared at us both looking lost. Finally, she turned on her heels and started walking away with anger. "I'm reporting that man," she mumbled. “He’s not getting away with this.”
We both watched in silence as the woman hurried down the hall, almost tripping over her own two feet. I bet they'd be surprised to see that he got what was coming to him already. Most of it at least.
Jace reached down and pressed his lips to my forehead. They were warm and soft to the touch. It helped to calm the shivers that were running all through my body.
"Are you ready for this? He nodded at the door. "We have no idea what's behind that door."
I swallowed hard and then reached for the brass knob. "No," I mumbled. I gently turned the knob and pushed the door open. What I saw in front of me was frightening. Almost unrecognizable.
My mother lay in the oversized bed full of bandages and tubes hooked up to multiple machines. Bruises covered her once beautiful face and half of it was swollen beyond recognition. Her raven hair curled around her bandages and you could still see traces of blood that never got washed out. The sight made me sick.
"Mother," I cried out.
Her eyes shot open, but she didn’t move.
My breathing became heavy as I stood there waiting for a sign from my mother. Her blue eyes, swollen and bruised, struggled to stay open as she lifted her head and groaned out in pain.
My mind spun as I stood there watching her in silence waiting for her next move. She didn't attempt to move though. Instead, she just closed her eyes and exhaled as she rested her head back down
onto the pillow.
I held my breath and reached for Jace's hand for comfort as it lightly brushed against mine, sending chills up my arm. The feel of his soft skin made me remember to breathe again. If it wasn't for Jace's support then I would have fallen over in a weeping mess. There was no way that I could have done it without him.
"It's okay, Avery." Jace whispered. "You have to show her that you're here to support her no matter what." He gently kissed my forehead and gave me a slight push to get me going. "I'll be right beside you."
I slowly made my way over to the huge bed with Jace following close behind, but stopped before I got too close. I had no idea what I was going to say and I was honestly terrified.
I glanced beside me and smiled over at Jace as he stood there looking calm and relaxed, arms crossed over his chest as he smiled back. He seemed so put together and confident. How could he manage to be so perfect?
"Mother- I… I'm-"
"Avery," My mother cut me off, her voice weak. "Are you really here?" She whispered.
My heart raced as the sound of my name. It sent chills down my spine and reminded me of how much I had actually missed her in the last year. I didn't realize it until that moment, but I did. I missed the good times that we had. As few of times as there were, they made a difference in my life.
"I'm here," I whispered. A tear rolled down my cheek as my mother's hand reached out for mine. It was pale and badly bruised. It reminded me too much of my father and I had to fight the urge to not break down. It was enough to see my dad a bloody mess, but now my mother. It was all too much for me.
My mother's hand was ice cold as she wrapped her fingers around mine and softly rubbed her thumb over my hand. "I'm so sorry," she cried. "Shit, Avery. I messed up. I really messed up." My mother struggled to open her eyes as she pulled me closer and wrapped her arm around my neck. "I'm the worst mother in the world. I should have been there for you," she breathed. "I never thought I'd see you again."
I fought back the tears that were threatening to form as I looked into her eyes and gripped her other hand. I hadn't expected an apology and my emotions were running wild. She had hurt me a lot in the past, but she’d had her good times as well. Maybe none of that was important anymore.
Since meeting Jace I had begun to realize that looking back was only going to keep me down. Starting fresh and working on being happy was the only thing left to do. "The past doesn't matter anymore," I whispered. "I'm here for you. I won't leave you again." I squeezed her hand and leaned in closer.
Suddenly my arms wrapped around her frail body and the both of us just let it all out. All of the hate, the hurt and the frustration that has kept us back for so long.
The tears rushed out and I felt a sense of relief. I felt safe there in her arms with Jace by our side. I could tell that by the way she held me that she felt safe for the first time in a long time as well. Maybe even, for the first time since she had met my father. It made my heart ache to think about it.
I didn't understand how she had gone through so much hurt and for so long. Maybe my father wasn't always a monster. Maybe he was good once and she was holding on to the hope and memories.
After a few minutes of silence
, I felt Jace's hand on my back. His touch was supportive and gentle. It reminded me that he was there for me and he wasn't going anywhere. That thought alone was enough to make me smile. He was the light in the dark when I needed it the most and that moment was now.
I pulled away from my mother when she groaned out in pain again. I didn't even realize how much pressure I was putting on her. I was just happy to be close to her and I didn't want to let go. I had imagined the moment that my mother and I could let go of our fears and be close my entire life. I wasn't ready for the
moment to end. "I'm sorry. I'm just happy that you're safe." I smiled, but felt bad for hurting her.
Jace rushed over and grabbed the back of my mother’s head for support as she attempted to lie back down and get comfortable. "There you go." He smiled as he pulled the blanket up to cover her shoulders and then brushed the hair from out of her face. "Can I get you anything? Just relax, Joyce."
My mother looked a little confused at first, but managed to smile when she realized that Jace was with me. "Thank you. Um…" She paused searching for a name.
"The name is Jace ma'am," he said softly. "It's nice to meet you."
Seeing Jace being so polite and caring made my heart pound. I was amazed.
How does he do this to me?
He had everything that any woman could ever dream of in a man and yet there he was next to me.
Jace stood next to the bed and placed his hand on my shoulder. "Maybe I should give you two some alone time. I'll be out in the hall." He smiled down at my mother as she reached for his hand and squeezed it.
"Thank you," she whispered, looking him over. "I've never seen her look so... alive."
Jace nodded his head, a look of pain in his eyes, and then left the room.
It was silent as I sat there on the edge of the hospital bed. The temperature seemed to drop as soon as Jace left the room and it left me feeling cold and lost.
Should I tell
her about my scumbag father? How would she react? Would she hate me?
After watching her lay there in the bed with her eyes closed, curled up into a ball, I decided that it was probably better to wait. She had already been through enough and she deserved just a little moment of peace. I didn't want to be the one to ruin that for her.
I jumped out of thought at the sound of my mother’s voice. I was so lost in thought that I hadn't even heard what she said.
"Avery?" She tried again. “Are you okay?”
"Huh?" I mumbled looking into her eyes.
My mother reached out and ran a hand over my face. "What happened to your eye?" she questioned. "Who hurt you?"
Shit! Please just drop it.
"I said what happened to your eye?" She sounded angry as she leaned back on her elbow and sat up. "Who did that?"
I turned my head away from her vision and pushed myself away from the bed. I didn't need her asking any questions. All of the answers would lead to her piece of shit husband and how Jace put him in the hospital. "It's not important.” I smiled and squeezed her hand. "Get some rest and I'll be out in the hall with Jace..."
I got ready to walk away, but her arm reached out and gripped mine before I could manage to get away. "It was your father, wasn't it?" She squeezed my arm and a tear fe
ll down her face. "Answer me," she screamed. "I need to know. Where is he?"
"It was-"
My words cut off as the door swung open and Jace rushed into the room with the nurse following close behind. Their presence seemed to shake us both up, causing our bodies to shake uncontrollably as we both looked up and studied the sight in front of us.
The nurse stood in the corner of the room as Jace nervously ran his hands through his hair.
I don't like this.
Jace eyed my mother’s hand with concern, as she squeezed it and took a step closer to us. "Is everything okay, Avery?" he asked cautiously.
"No," my mother muttered. "Where did this come from?" She pointed at my face and took a deep breath. "I know you guys saw him. Did he come for her?"
Jace bit his lip and turned to look at the nurse. "It's best that you step in now." He walked over to the wall and placed his head into his arm. He looked scared.
The nurse nervously played with her shirt collar as she eyed the gray linoleum flooring. "Ma'am your husband," she paused to swallow. "He died a few hours ago. I'm sorry," she breathed. "I'll be back to discuss the details a bit later. Get some rest." The nurse looked at me with a look of relief and then left the room. I knew that she felt he deserved death after what he had done to my mother, but what would my mother feel?
The look on my mother's face was of pure shock. All of the color drained out of her face and she looked as if she couldn't breathe. "What," she whispered. "This can't be happening." She looked around the room in silence before she set her eyes on me.
The fire in her eyes made my heart stop. I knew what was coming next. "What happened to him? You better answer me," she growled.
Jace stepped away from the wall and walked over to stand next to me. He protectively placed his arm in front of me and faced my mother. "It wasn't her fault." He looked down at me and cupped my face as I broke down in tears. "It wasn't your fault. Do you hear me?" He shook my face and then pressed me into his chest.
"I'm sorry," I cried. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I just wanted to stay away from him. He came after me. I didn't want him dead."
My mother sat up in the bed and squeezed the white sheet until the color drained from her knuckles. "What did you do, Avery?" she spat. "Please just tell me. I can't live without him." she sobbed into her hand. "Please."
I looked up at Jace not knowing what to do. I couldn't tell her the truth or she'd hate Jace and blame everything on him. Maybe even press charges and get him arrested. I couldn't let that happen. As much as it hurt, Jace was only protecting me.
I got ready to speak, but Jace silenced me by placing his finger to my mouth.
"It was me. I did it." He paused to look me in the eye. "I don't regret protecting you and I would do it all again if it means your safety. You deserve to be safe. I want to do that." He ran his thumb over my cheek and turned back to face my mother. He somehow managed to keep his calm. I wasn't for sure, but I was guessing it was for my sake.
"I didn't mean for it to go as far as it did, but when I walked in on them he was choking her. She couldn’t breathe and I couldn't let him hurt her anymore. It was an accident."
My mother's mouth dropped open and she sat there looking surprised. She looked between the both of us and then pointed for the door
, her hand shaking. "I need you to leave. The both of you." She threw her hands to her face and shook it back and forth. "Now!" She screamed.
My heart ached to reach out and hold her. I wanted to feel like I did a few minutes before. When she actually loved me and was happy to see me. Now it was gone. I was losing my mother again. "I'm sorry. Please-"
"Just go," she screamed as she wiped at her face. "Please. I need to be alone."
Jace gripped my waist as my knees gave out on me. He pulled me close to him and walked me toward the door. "We need to give her some space. We'll be back." He grabbed my face and looked me in the eye. "Everything will be okay. I'm here for you."
I looked back at my mother right before we reached the door. Her face was pressed into the pillow that was now covered in her tears and drops of blood from the scabs that covered the side of her neck. She looked pathetic and weak once again.
My father always managed to do that to her. He still somehow managed to do that even in his death. To the both of us. He really was a monster.
Now what?
Chapter 15
An hour later, Jace and I were on the road once again and heading back to Jace's place. My mother refused to see us or even the nurse again and I knew that nothing would change her mind.
Thoughts of my father now poisoned my mother’s every thoughts and that was a powerful enough thing to make her blind to the situation. It would be no use to try to gain her forgiveness. Not now. Only time would be able to heal the damage done. Even then, there was only a slight chance for forgiveness.
My swollen eyes wandered out the passenger side window as the nurse's words replayed repeatedly in my head. They were words that I never expected and that I would never be able to forget.
"Avery, your father has been battling cancer for over thirteen years now. His body has been shutting down slowly and all of the drinking has finally taken him down. He was admitted to the hospital earlier today after being attacked in an alleyway. It was then that they noticed the cancer had taken its toll. There was nothing that anyone could do to save him. He did this to himself. He was an addict."
"Avery." Jace's deep voice called out.
I slowly reached up, hands shaking as I wiped the tears from off my puffy cheeks. Then I turned to face him, keeping my eyes
glued to my hands that were now moist from the tears that wouldn't seem to stop falling.
"Are you okay?" he questioned. His emerald eyes looked dark as they scanned mine and then set back on the road. "Would you like me to stop somewhere? We can take a rest and get something to eat."
My stomach growled at just the thought of food, but I knew that keeping any food down wouldn't be an option at the moment. "No," I whispered. "I'm not hungry. I just want some rest."
I leaned into the black leather seat and closed my eyes. I had no idea that my father had cancer and the thought made me sick. I had a feeling that not even my mother knew. All of those years he’d kept that huge secret to himself. One that had probably been eating at him and tearing him apart bit by bit as he died a little more each and every day.
Every day he had to live with the pain and face the fact that he was dying. Maybe he couldn't face the fact. Maybe that's why he was never sober. He turned to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. That was why my mother stayed. She did know the good side at one point. She spent her life waiting for the good Henry to return. The one that at one time possibly adored her and maybe even myself. I was going to be sick.
"Stop the car!" I threw my hand to my mouth as the vomit threatened to spew through my parted lips. "Stop!"
Jace quickly pulled the car over and jumped out of the car right as I managed to swing my door open and fall out on my knees. The hard gravel dug into my bony knees as the world spun around me and the vomit escaped through my parted lips. The only thing that kept me sane was the feel of Jace's strong hand rubbing the back of my head. Nothing else in the world seemed to make sense at the moment. He was the only thing that seemed real to me. The only thing keeping me alive.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," I cried. "I should have stayed with you. I did this. Everything is my fault." I brought my knees to my chin and rocked back and forth, as he continued to rub my head. "I left to keep you safe and I still managed to mess things up. I'm nothing but a-"
"No," he whispered. "None of this was your fault. You had no control over your father or your mother for that matter. You have been through so much and it's time for you to move on. This is your chance." He pulled me into his arms and fell down on the ground next to me. "This is what it feels like to be loved," he swallowed. "Let me get you home."
I stared up at him in confusion as he jumped to his feet, helped me up and back into the car. All of the color drained from his usually tanned face as he wiped the ass of his jeans off and gently reached over to buckle me in. I wanted to question what he had just meant, but I couldn't seem to form any words. Not the ones that I wanted to at least. "Okay," I whispered. Thank you."
He looked down at me while chewing on his lip in frustration. He looked as if he had something to say, but decided against it at last minute. Then without another word, he jogged to his side of the car and jumped in.
We arrived back at Jace's house to find a little silver Honda now sitting in the driveway. Jace's eyes went wide as we pulled up behind the car and Jace nervously slammed the car into park. He looked lost as his eyes focused on the figure that now sat on his front porch. It was too dark to tell, but I was almost positive that it was a woman.
"It's my sister," he whispered. "She hasn't come to my house in over three years. There has to be something wrong." He ran his hands through his hair and exhaled. "Shit."
I sat there frozen in place as he jumped out of the car and hurried over to his sister. They both stood there in silence before Jackie threw her frail arms around Jace and he pulled her into his arms. I could see Jackie's body shaking as she fell to her knees and gripped his shirt. The sight in front of me brought me to tears. I could tell even from far away that they were both crying.
I never in my life had seen a man cry and it broke my heart to pieces. Jace was the strongest person that I knew and to see him cry crushed me. He really did have the biggest heart in the world. First, he was there to take care of me and now his sister. He had to have a heart of steel to be so strong.
I waited in the car until Jace looked my direction and nodded his head.
He smiled as I stepped out of the car, popped a piece of gum in my mouth and walked over to stand in front of him and
Jackie. "Go on inside and get some rest." He kissed his sister on the forehead and watched as she smiled at me and headed inside. She looked as if she had been crying for days. Her cheeks were swollen and red and she could barely even open her eyes. By looking at her, you would think that she hadn't slept in over a week. Jace really had his hands full with the both us.
I stood there feeling lost, but somewhat relieved as the door softly shut behind Jackie. Jace peered over his left shoulder to look at me. He nodded his head and then walked over to lean against the porch. His eyes scanned mine as he played with his leather jacket. "She left him, Avery." He let out a small grunt and then smiled. "She actually left that piece of shit." He looked down at the ground and a tear fell from his face. He didn't even try to hide it.
My heart raced as I ran over to him and threw my arms around him. For the first time in a long time, I was thinking about someone other than myself. "Don't cry," I breathed, wanting nothing more than to comfort him. "I don't like to see you look so..."
Jace looked up and cupped my face. "What?" he pushed.
I hid my face in his chest and gripped his jacket. I didn’t want him to see my face. "Sad," I replied. "It makes me..."
"It makes you what," he whispered, "Tell me."
"It makes me sad and breaks my heart. Okay," I muttered. "It fucking hurts me to see you sad." I looked up into his eyes as his grip suddenly tightened around me. It gave me chills.
The look on his face was unreadable as he leaned forward and softly brushed his lips against mine. "That's how I feel about you every day." He pressed his soft lips to mine and then slowly pulled away. "My heart aches for you every day, but that won't keep me away. I wouldn't stop the suffering because I welcome the pain." He crushed his lips back to mine, causing me to lose my breath as I kissed him back with force.
A moan escaped my parted lips as I placed my hands to his stiff chest and squeezed. His heart pounded heavily against my open palm as he lifted me off the ground and set me down on the railing. He forcefully pressed his body between my legs and gripped the back of my hair with both hands.
I felt like I was falling, but I wasn't afraid. I had Jace there to save me. "You do something to me," I moaned against his lips.
He smiled and ran his finger over my bottom lip. "You do something to me too. Something that I'll never be able to explain..."
His words trailed off as he kissed me again while fighting to catch his breath. His breathing was heavy and forced as he placed his hand to my chest and reached for my hand with his free one. "This is the only way to explain what you do to me." He firmly pressed my hand against his chest to reveal the heavy beating of his heart.
I had felt it earlier, but it was beating much faster and harder at the moment, making me feel weak.
Seeing him, standing there so vulnerable and open made him sexy. Everything from the sultry look on his face mixed with pain to the way that his chest looked in his fitted black T-shirt screamed '
sexy
'. In that moment, I wanted him.