I turned my head away and bit my bottom lip. I never actually came out and told Jace that. He was a lot smarter than most people that I knew.
He slowly broke my walls down bit by bit and knew all of the right times to touch me.
"You figured that out." I smiled impressed. "You're perfect." The words left my mouth before I could stop them. I threw my hand over my mouth and hid my face, embarrassed by my confession.
Jace cupped my face and forced me to look at him. "Don't be afraid of your feelings. I want to know how you feel." He leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. "Go and get ready." He smiled, his eyes sincere. "There are some people that want to see you."
I wasn't surprised when we pulled up in front of diner. My stomach still managed to do a flip at just the sight of The Indy Go. It hadn't been that long since I had been there, but it had felt like a lifetime. I was nervous.
Jace pulled the keys out of the ignition and looked over at me with concentration. The look on his face looked as if he was trying to figure me out. "Are you okay with coming here?" he finally questioned.
I thought about it for a moment before I responded. "Yes."
As soon as Jace pulled open the door to the diner, Stacy, along with her loose blond curls were bouncing around in my face. She didn't waste time before she threw her tiny arms around me and pulled me in for a hug. It was probably the tightest hug that I had ever managed to survive. She was quite strong for being so small.
"Holy shit, Avery!" she squealed. "I was so worried that I would never see you again. I'm so sorry that I didn't see you leave." She pulled away, but not before planting a soft kiss on my forehead. She really had a way with making a person feel at home. If I had to admit it, I would say that I have grown to be quite fond of her.
I nodded my head and patted her on the back. The softness of her sweater made me feel cozy and comfortable.
I was so lost in the moment that I almost didn't even pay attention to the fact that there were about three more bodies surrounding us. "It's okay," I managed to say.
Before I could take another step, I noticed Dex, Winston and Maple standing in a circle in front of the counter. Winston stepped away first and made his way to stand in front of me. "It's good to see you again." He offered his hand for a shake and I took it without a second thought. It felt good to see them all again.
I smiled and brushed my hair from out of my face. "It's good to see you too. All of you." I looked around nodding my head. “It really is.”
Jace grinned as he cupped my face and looked me in the eye. "No one is happier than I am at this moment. It feels like home here and it isn't complete without you here." His eyes softened before he pressed his lips against mine and rubbed the back of my head. "Welcome back."
Everyone in the room looked shocked as Jace pulled me next to him and kissed the top of my head. Everyone acted as if they’d never seen Jace be affectionate with a woman before.
He just ignored all of the looks and walked me over to the counter. His hand held onto mine as he grabbed Dex's shoulder with his other hand. "I owe you my life, man." He pulled Dex's face close to him and squeezed his shoulder. "Let me know if you ever need anything."
Dex's eyes lit up as he grabbed Jace's shoulder and smiled. "You've already done enough in the past. I owed you, bro."
Dex’s eyes turned to me and he smiled. “I’m glad that you’re okay. You’re in good hands.”
I nodded and smiled. “Thank you.”
I couldn't help but to feel warm and tingly inside from all of the love that seemed to be going around the diner. The feeling was so overwhelming that it brought tears to my eyes. I wasn't used to this feeling and it had me very confused.
"Are you alright, dear?" Maple questioned concerned.
I slowly looked up while trying to hide my moist cheeks. "I'm fine. More than okay."
The room was silent as everyone stood there watching me. I felt like a freak show.
"Well everyone," Jace said breaking the silence. "We're going to take off."
Everyone said their goodbyes and we headed back to Jace's house.
I knew that at some point I was going to have to tell him that I was moving into my apartment in just a few days, but it just wasn't quite the right time.
When we arrived back at the house, Jackie was sitting on the floor with the game Yahtzee sitting in front of her. She looked up with tired eyes.
It looked as if she had been crying again, when we were gone. She forced a smile and patted the two spots beside her. "Remember when we used to play this game?" She looked up at Jace with a childish grin.
Jace grinned back before he sat down next to her and grabbed for the dice. "I do. I remember we used to stay up all night playing. Mom never cared, but when dad got home... he would yell until we put it away and went to bed. We were so in love with this game." He smiled over at me. “Sit.”
Jackie looked up at me as if she was still waiting for me to join them. "Do you like this game, Avery?" She waited for an answer as I found my way to the floor and took a seat next to her.
I thought for a second before I answered. I knew that they would both probably laugh at me. I would have. "I've never played it." I grabbed for a piece of game paper and looked it over. "How do you play?"
Jace and Jackie both smiled at each other before explaining the rules to me. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be and the game was actually fun.
We spent the next couple of hours just laughing and talking while playing Yahtzee. We never had games at my house back when I was living with my parents. I knew the main reason for that was that they didn't want to take the time to teach anything to me. The thought made me sad, but it was never too late to learn.
Hours later, Jackie went to bed leaving us alone in the living room. I was tired as well, but didn't want to leave Jace's side. It felt good being so close to him and the thought of being alone made me sad. I just wasn't ready yet.
"Tell me what happened with Jackie," I whispered while leaning into his chest.
Jace squeezed me closer to him until my head was resting on his shoulder. He lightly kissed my head and then played with the ends of my hair.
"Jackie was a... is a good woman. She got mixed up with Joe sometime after my father left and my mother passed away a few years later. She was uncontrollable at the time and he took advantage of her. He fed her lies, drugs and anything else that he said would make her happy again. She believed it all." He paused and shook his head. "I've been trying ever since to get her back. She's a tough one. Even now I can't be sure that she will stay."
I swallowed the emotions that were forming as I reached up and touched his chest. It felt warm and firm under my fragile touch. He had been through so much and… alone. "What happened to your mother?" I asked suddenly wondering if I had taken it too far.
Jace's body stiffened for a moment as we sat there in silence. His heavy breathing made me nervous.
"She kind of lost it after my father left. She got addicted to antidepressants until eventually she gave up on everything and got sick. I took care of her for as long as I could." A tear fell from his face as he squeezed his eyes shut. "She didn't make it."
My heart pounded heavily in my chest as I pulled him as close to me as I could. It broke my heart to think about what he had gone through. He deserved so much better.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered. I didn't know what else to say. I knew that nothing would be able to take the pain away. Mine was always there.
Jace reached out with trembling hands and cupped my face, his emerald eyes burning into mine as he as he shifted to his knees and pulled in closer to his face. "Be with me, Avery," he whispered.
My throat closed up. I tried pulling away from his firm grip, but it was useless. I was weak and powerless when it came to looking into his eyes. I felt as if I was drowning. I was sinking further and further under the water and it was getting harder and harder to breathe.
Jace sat there breathing heavily, chest heaving up and down as he stared into my eyes, his eyes burning with passion.
"Avery, I love you," he said breathless.
Chapter 17
Unable to think clearly, I clumsily scrambled to my feet, hands tangled through my hair as I fought to catch my breath. My whole body was trembling now and I had many mixed emotions. I wasn’t quite sure, but it sounded as if Jace had just confessed his love for me. Maybe I was hearing things.
“Avery,” Jace whispered moving closer to me.
I looked up in a daze, but didn’t utter a single word. I was speechless.
“Did you hear me?” His eyes searched mine.
I shook my head back and forth while slowly backing up against the wall. I carefully leaned against it for support as I tried to calm my spinning mind.
“Huh,” I breathed. “I...um.” I dropped to my knees and reached for the tear that was rolling down my cheek.
“Avery.” Jace dropped to his knees in front of me and reached for my face, but I turned away from his grip. I couldn’t handle the feel of his touch at the moment. It wouldn’t allow me to think straight.
“What is wrong with you,” he questioned, his voice soft. “I love you. Is that so wrong of me?”
I forced my eyes up to meet Jace’s and suddenly I got slammed with so many emotions that I lost it. I couldn’t handle the fact that he could throw those words around so easily when he knew that I had been through so much.
He couldn’t love me. I didn’t even know what those words meant. How could he love someone that didn’t even know the meaning?
“How could you even say that,” I mused. “You’re going to look me right in the eye and lie to me. Are you trying to hurt me?” I stood to my feet and pointed at my chest. “Look at me,” I screamed. “If you could see right through me. Then you would see that this is empty. How could you love someone like that?” I was sobbing now. Sobbing like a baby.
Jace forcefully gripped my wrist and pulled me against his chest. “Why won’t you just let me love you?” A look of pain flashed in his eyes as he ran a finger over my cheek. “I have never in my life told a woman that I love her. You have made me feel things that I have tried to keep locked away for so long. Just the thought of never being with you hurts. Do you get that? You have to believe me. I would never lie to you.”
I closed my eyes and leaned my head to the right. His touch was making me weak and I didn’t want to fall into his arms and drown in all of his lies. “I can’t do this right now.” I yanked my wrist from out of his reach and slowly backed away from him. “I can’t listen to this.”
Jace stood there in silence for a moment before he walked over to the wall and slammed his fist against it. The wall shook.
His jaw clenched as he ran his hand through his hair and stared at the wall. “Tell me something then, Avery. Tell me the truth.” He paused to look up at me. “Do you have any feelings for me? Do you feel anything at all?” he asked breathless.
My body stiffened as my mind searched for answers. "Jace, I don't know how I feel," I whispered, searching for my own answers. "What I feel is very confused right now. I have never felt this way before about anything or anyone but when I'm around you, it's like... my heart hurts. I don't know how to describe the feeling."
I pressed my hand to my chest and squeezed it. My heart stopped at the sound of my own words, my stomach suddenly dropping.
Jace placed his hands to my face, hands shaking, as he gently backed me into the wall behind me. He took a deep breath and
exhaled slowly. "Tell me this." He paused to swallow. "Do I even have a chance?" His eyes searched mine again.
My mind spun as I fought to figure out how I felt. The truth was that I thought about Jace every second of everyday and just the thought of never seeing him again hurt like hell. I had never felt anything like it before. It pained me too much to put it together now. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Jace.
Jace’s eyes hardened when I didn’t respond.
"Nothing to say, Avery? I just poured my heart out to you and you can't even say one word, "he growled.
I closed my eyes and sighed. "Jace, I don't know-"
"Just stop there," he cut in. He pulled his hands away from my face and walked over to stand in front of the door. "I need to clear my head and cool off." He hesitated for a second before he reached for the knob and pulled the door open.