Doubt (The Connected Series Book 1) (17 page)

Please don
’
t make me choose Sophie. My heart and life are big enough to have you both in it, to love you both and spend the rest of my days making sure you are okay and doing everything to make sure you both happy, safe and loved. I can do that Sophie, please let me.
 

Please, phone me Sophie. I want to talk. I need you.
 
Hold on to me. To us. To our future. Don
’
t throw this away.
 

My heart is with you, along with my love.

Doug

The page is wet with tears and my heart is aching, this is why I fell in love with him. He is the most amazing, loving man in the world. It’s late so I can’t do anything about it tonight, and I don’t want to. My emotions are frazzled and I need to sleep. I have the second part of the shoot tomorrow and I need to be fresh. I shower quickly and get into my bed, for the first time since I left Doug, I feel a little bit of hope. Maybe we can work this out after all. I fall sleep, my heart feeling a little lighter and my eyes a little drier. 

Chapter Sixteen

Picking up Doug’s letter, I put it into my handbag as I leave for work, I’ve decided to call him during lunch and arrange to meet him tonight, and we can talk and decide where we go from here. I feel a little lighter as I walk into the shoot. 

“Morning.” I smile at everyone and go to get set up.

The morning flies by and before I realise it, it’s almost time for lunch. I’m just getting ready to head out with Abby, the hair stylist for the shoot when there is a commotion at the door and I turn to see Doug trying to shove past the security guy. 

“I’m here to see Sophie.” he growls in the face of the security guy.

“I don’t care who you are here to see, you need to calm down.” He stands, a few feet taller than Doug, but it doesn’t seem to matter. Doug looks over and into my eyes.

“Sophie, I need to talk to you.” his voice vibrating with emotion, his eyes pleading.

“I’ll be two minutes Abby,” I walk over to where they stand, “It’s okay, I’ll talk to him outside.”

I step around them and push open the door leading to the hallway. Doug follows close on my heels.

“Sophie...” 

“Don’t you
dare
Sophie me, what the hell are you doing here?” I narrow my eyes at him, “I’m working Doug and you’ve just embarrassed me beyond fucking belief in front of my client!”

I draw in a breath, trying to remind myself to calm down. I finally get a good look at him. Miley was right, he does look awful. He hasn’t shaved, for what looks like days, his hair is sticking up in every direction and he has dark circles under his eyes. He looks like he has lost some weight too.
Is it wrong I still find him breathtakingly gorgeous?
 

“How else can I see you?” Doug takes a menacing step forward, his voice is raising, “You won’t answer your door when I come over, and you ignore my calls…” He steps closer, trying to reach for me. I throw my hands up, stopping him.

“It’s not the time or the place Doug, you have to see that!” I run my hands through my hair exasperated, “Do you have any idea who that is in there? A big fucking client who is more than likely to go somewhere else now. How could you do that to me?” I wipe my eyes, desperately trying to calm down. I look at his blazing eyes.

“You won’t fucking talk to me Sophie, you won’t tell me how you feel. How am I supposed to fix this if you won’t talk to me? I need you to be honest with me. I need you to talk to me. Not cut me off” He shudders, “It’s killing me. And it stops here.”

Emotions flood me and I know this can’t happen here, not now.

“So you thought coming here was how to get me to talk to you? For an intelligent guy Doug, you can be fucking clueless sometimes!” He reaches for my hand.

“Will you stop swearing.” he growls.

“Don’t treat me like a child Doug.” I scowl at him, “I’m working, I don’t have time for this. Leave.
Now
.’

As I turn to leave, I remember how close I was to fixing all this.

“I was all set to call you this afternoon, to thank you for your letter, to ask if we could meet and discuss this. I see now, how wrong I was.” his eyes widen in shock.

“Don’t say that. Please, come and talk to me.”

“It’s too late for that now. I want you to leave, if you come back, I’ll get security to kick you out.”

I turn and push the door open, turning back to see if he has gone, bad move. Doug is standing, rooted to the spot, a look of pure pain and heartbreak on his face. With tears in his eyes.

“Just go, please….” I whisper walking through the door.

***

DOUG

Way to go idiot. Did you really expect her to listen to you? What exactly did you think you were going to achieve ambushing her at work?

I run my hands over my face, this is exhausting. I exit the building and get in my car. Slumping over the steering wheel, I let the tears fall. I don’t care who sees. I’ve just lost the best thing I ever had and it was all down to me. Down to my lying. Down to me jumping in before thinking. I fish my phone out of my pocket and prepare myself to beg. 

***

“Who was that?” Abby has raised eyebrows when I step back in.

“Boyfriend. Well, actually, can he still be classed as my boyfriend if we haven’t been together for weeks?” I try to laugh, if I don’t laugh I’ll cry, and I’m not crying at work.

“Oh.... It looks like he really wanted to talk to you.” I grab my bag and coat ready to head for lunch. 

“It’s complicated. Way too complicated. Shall we grab some lunch?” I try to steer the conversation away from Doug.

“Sure, you can tell me why this is so complicated.” Abby smiles, linking her arm in mine.
Great
. 

Thankfully, Doug doesn’t show up anymore and I manage to get Abby to drop it. It turns out, everyone was really understanding about Doug turning up and I get asked back for another shoot in two weeks.

“We’ve all been there right?” Joseph the photographer whispers in my ear as we leave, “He looked like he really needed to talk to you though Sophie, whatever he did, give him a chance.”

His words echo in my head all the way home, but I can’t cool the anger I feel at his actions today. I call Miley, needing her opinion.

 “He turned up at work.” I don’t even say hello when she picks up. 

“I know…“

“You know? How?” I don’t understand what she is saying.

“He needs to speak to you. He is desperate. He...” 

“He what?” did I want to know what?

“He was here, he left about twenty minutes ago.” I’m shocked he would go to Miley. Getting others involved isn’t his style. 

“He is broken Sophie. Will you just phone him and hear him out? I’m not saying you take him back, but he explained it all to me. He really wasn’t trying to hurt you. But its
massive
what he is trying to deal with, and regardless of how hurt you feel, you have to remember that.” I groan. Maybe phoning Miley wasn’t such a good idea. 

“So you’re on his side now?”

“I’m not on anyone’s side, Sophie. I understand where you are both coming from. But surely after eighteen months together, you owe it to him, to your relationship to listen. Then you can decide if you leave.” I can’t say anything.

“You know I’m right sweetheart.” she whispers into the phone. 

“I’m almost home. I’ll speak to you later.”

I hang up before she has a chance to say anything else. Having a best friend who tells it to you like it is great, but then that best friend tells you that you are wrong, you really must be. I am trying to forget the day by listening to some music, having a glass of wine and painting my nails, pure relaxation for me, when the buzzer goes. Huffing, I walk to see who it is.

“Hello?” I ask into the receiver.

“I have a delivery for a Miss Sophie Bennett.”

“I’m not expecting anything.”

“Well, it is for you, can I bring it up?” I buzz him in and wait for the knock. He comes around the corner wheeling a huge box. 

“If you could just sign here please?”

He thrusts one of those annoying electronic signing things in my face, the ones where your signature looks
nothing
like it does it reality and it could have been signed for by a kitten. Handing his device back to him, I thank him and close the door. Intrigued what it could be, I waste no time in opening it. Inside I find eighteen bottles of
Prosecco
and a bottle of Italian peach juice - There is a note too. 

We
’
ve enjoyed many of these together over the last
eighteen
months.
Eighteen
bottles to remind you of all the happy times we
’
ve had, I hope there will be many more to come. All my love. Doug

My breathing is unsteady and my legs feel like they are about to buckle. I play it safe and sit on the floor. I reread the note, tears fall and I don’t stop them. I miss him so much. My mind swims with memories of times we’ve shared this drink together, our first date, and the first time I stayed at Doug’s and he cooked for me, our one year anniversary six months ago. They were all perfect and magical and so happy. Nothing like how I feel now. I close my eyes and let myself remember our first date; I can remember it so clearly. 

Our First Date
 

We have arranged to meet at a hotel for dinner. I am nervous the whole taxi ride over. Even more so as I step into the bar of the hotel and spot him. He doesn’t see me at first; I have the perfect view of him. He’s leaning up against the bar, looking the picture of sophistication. He is wearing a navy suit with a crisp white shirt and purple tie.
He is so sexy.
He runs his hand through his hair, biting his lip an looking at his watch. He’s nervous. Looking up his eyes meet mine, a slow, sexy smile spreads across his face. He raises one beautiful eyebrow at me and starts towards me.

“You look gorgeous.” he leans in, brushing his lips softly against mine. My heart rate instantly picks up.

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

He holds his hand out to me and I take it, allowing him to lead us to the bar. 

“What would you like to drink?” I take a moment to calm my heartbeat.

 “A Peach Bellini, please.” 

“Make that two.” Doug smiles at me. 

“Your drink is a
Bellini
?” I ask, surprised.

 “Not normally, but if you like it, it must be good.”

The waiter makes a show of making our drinks, taking the time to form a spring out of the peel of lemon which he places around a very small straw. 

“Thank you.” I smile, taking my drink.

“Let’s go sit.”

He places a hand on the small of my back, guiding me to a booth, the heat from his hand coming though the thin fabric of my dress. I have to focus on walking, the heels and the effect of Doug being so close making me wobble. I slide into the booth; Doug slides smoothly in after me. The close proximity takes me by surprise; I can smell him so clearly. Fresh, clean and Doug. He places a hand on the table in front of us, palm up, looking expectantly at me; he brings his other hand to reach for mine and places it in his.

“That’s better.” he smiles, “You’re shaking.” he furrows his brow, “Are you nervous?”

“Yes.” I nod my head and whisper back.

“Me too.” he whispers back.

That is all it takes to relax us, admitting to each other we were both nervous. We spend the evening talking, laughing, it is wonderful. We laugh about the fact that our best friends have been a couple for a few months now. Yet we hadn’t met until Miley’s birthday party a few days ago.

“I know, Miley kept talking about this Doug guy, I assumed he was someone Jonathan worked with. I pictured an old greying man...” I teased, sipping my drink.

“Because of the name? You’re not the first to comment.” he laughs .

“It is an older person’s name, not a name I would associate with the sex God in front of me.”

Oh god
, I’ve had more to drink than I thought. His eyebrows raise and he gives me a slow, cocky smile

“Sex god huh? Now, how would a nice girl like you know anything about that?”

“I’m not a girl, I’m a woman.” I pout. “And I can assure you, I know a thing or two about...
that
.”

“And what, Sophie, is it that you know about
sex
?” He leans in so he is almost touching, but not quite. 

My head is swimming, from the alcohol, from being this close to Doug, from having been aroused since the moment I got here. I lean forward, resting my lips against his.

“I know...” I murmur against his soft lips. “How to tease you until you’re begging me to let you take me.” I kiss him, softly.