Doubt (The Connected Series Book 1) (19 page)

“I expected you to shout at me, to tell me how I was a selfish bastard, to tell me that you hated me... not this.” He brings my hand to his mouth, and plants little kisses over it.  I sigh.

“Doug, you’re
not
selfish and I 
don
’
t
hate you, how could I? You’re my happily ever after.” He doesn’t say anything, he just stares at me. Leaning in he presses his forehead to mine, I can feel him trembling.

“God, I love you. I thought I had lost you.” He closes his eyes, trying to steady him breath.

“I’m here. I want this to work too.” I reassure him, taking his head in my hands and kissing him softly. He wraps his arms around me, engulfing me in Doug, all I can feel is him. All I can smell is him. And its
heaven
. 

“Can we get out of here? I really need to be alone with you.” He is holding me, showing no signs of letting me go. 

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that Doug...” I’m relieved we are back together, but I just don’t know if I’m ready to be with him like that yet.

“No, not like that, I just want to hold you and be with you and I don’t want to be surrounded by people.” 

“Okay. I’ve only got a few hours though, I’m due at my parents this evening.” He nods and stands, putting his coat on. 

“We can go to yours if you’d rather? But we are so much closer to mine...” he looks unsure.

“Yours is good.” I put my coat on and grab my bag,

“Lets go.” Placing my hand in his, we walk out of the shop into the cold April air. 

It only takes us a few minutes to walk to Doug’s and before I know it, we are stepping into his apartment. I haven’t been here since he told me about Abigail. I look around, noting nothing has changed.
What did I
 expect?
There to be kids toys all over the place?
The familiar sense of calm returns the minute I step through the door, I really do feel at home here. 

“Do you want something to drink? Eat?” Doug is hanging up his jacket and reaches for mine. 

“I’m fine, thanks.” I walk over to the sofa and sit down on the edge.

“Do you mind if I grab a shower and get changed? I’d like to wash away the past few weeks.”

“Of course, go ahead.” I smile, taking off my boots and tucking my feel up under myself.

“I would ask if you want to join me...” his wicked grin is back and its contagious. 

“No, thank you. I’m fresh as a daisy.” I smile pretending to sniff myself.

“I’ll be ten minutes.” he climbs the stairs gracefully and I smile to myself, I’m back where I belong. Whatever happens from this point on, I’m ready for it. 

Chapter Eighteen

DOUG

Stepping into the bathroom, I shut the door  I try to control my breathing.  “Get a grip, Roberts.” I whisper.

I remove my clothes quickly, I turn on the shower and step in. The hot water makes my muscles relax. I rub the spot where it aches, for the first time in weeks, the pain in is easing. I turn my face up to the water. There was a time, I thought, I would never get her back. I absolutely and completely love Sophie. With every part of me, with every fibre of my being. I was hers totally. And I hope in time, She was going to be mine just as much. 

Reaching for the shower gel, I squirt some in my palm rubbing palms together making a lather. My thoughts turn to the dark haired Goddess sitting downstairs on my sofa. My cock twitches at just the thought of Sophie. True, I haven’t been with her for weeks and I haven’t felt even the slightest bit of interest in taking matters into my own hand, but now she was back and I could still smell her and feel her on me, my cock begins to stir. I take myself in my hand, slowly working myself up and down, squeezing myself, I groan,
god that feels
good
.

I close my eyes picturing Sophie’s hand is mine. I begin to move my fist faster, desperately needing some kind of release before I can face Sophie downstairs. She wasn’t ready to be intimate again and I respected that, but if I was going to go and be close to Sophie, I need to sort this out. The steam clouds the bathroom, I couldn’t see a thing. I don’t need to. Grasping myself tighter, I move my other hand to cup my balls, they are tight and full and ready. I picture Sophie on her knees in front of me, taking me deep into her mouth, moaning in appreciation at the size and hardness of my cock.

“Oh, God.” I husk, feeling that familiar heat and pressure building.

I am moving my hand faster now, reaching forward, I place one hand on the wall in front of me, spreading my legs a little more to balance myself. I pump furiously, relishing the feeling, losing myself to the intense pleasure. I hear the shower door creak and my eyes spring open 

“
What!
” my eyes meet Sophie’s, lust filled and wanting, “What are you doing?” I ask.

She doesn’t say anything, dropping to her knees, she leans forward and kisses the tip of my throbbing cock. I throw my head back on contact with her hot, wet mouth.

“I came to tell you…. your office was on the phone, when I saw... Well, you know what I saw.” She looks up at me with hooded eyes, poking her tongue out to lick me from base to tip. 

“
Oh
G
od
, do that again.” When she dips her head, I shudder, she takes me to the back of her throat and then releases me. 

“I want to watch you...” her smile is unsure. 

“You want.. to watch... me..”

She nods, spreading her legs wider and slipping her hand between her legs. I almost come right there and then, I have to close my eyes to control myself. Sophie leans back, giving me a better view of her wet folds and nods to me to continue. We lock eyes and Sophie begins moving her hand. I take a deep, steadying breath and began to stoke myself, tearing my eyes away from hers, I watch her pleasure herself. Her little hand is stroking up and down her folds, then circling her clit.

This is sexy as fuck and I can't believe it is happening. Sophie is staring at my hand moving up and down, her hand moving faster over her clit, her chest rising and falling rapidly, the water making her skin glisten. I can tell she is getting close and this turns me on. She closes her eyes, arching her back, when she opens them, she looks right into mine.

“I want you to come over me, Doug.” she says.

Her voice straining and husky. I step forward, the filthy request tipping me over the edge. Watching her hand move frantically over her clit I pump, once….. twice….

“I’m coming, ohhhhhhh God I’m coming!” With a guttural cry I jerk my hand, coming over Sophie’s chest. Her eyes roll into the back of her head and she screams her release.

“Oh fuck! Oh yes! Oh god!”

Panting, she stills her hand, looking up to meet my eyes, she raises her hands to her breasts, rubbing my come into her skin. It has me hardening in seconds. I kneel down, picking Sophie up and thrusting my tongue inside her mouth.

“That was the
sexiest
,
dirtiest
thing ever.” I dip my head, licking her neck.

“God it was sexy.” She groans, tilting her neck, giving me better access. I inhaled her skin, it was the sexiest smell in the world. Reaching down, I grip her arse, I’d missed this arse. 

“How about we finish up here then head downstairs?”

I murmur into her neck, she smiles and reaches for her shampoo They were going to be okay. He knew it. 

***

“You know, Alison really is a fabulous cook.”

Sophie leans back, patting her very full stomach. I have missed this, just sitting eating together, chatting, enjoying each others company. I was well aware, there was still lots to be discussed, but for now at least. Sophie seemed content to just be together. 

“I know, she made me her chicken and ham pie last week, I swear, it could win awards.” I smile, taking a sip of my red wine. 

Sophie phoned her parents after our shower to let them know she would be driving to see them tomorrow rather than tonight as we needed to talk, I wasn’t sure how much they knew and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to ask and spoil the evening. 

“Mum asked if you would be joining me this weekend, she said you were very welcome as always.” She doesn't look me in the eyes, fixing her stare to her empty plate. 

“Do you want me to come?” I whisper, looking at her the whole time. 

“I don’t know, I mean.. We’ve only just...” 

“I know,” I reach over and take her hand, “I won’t if you don’t want me to, but I want you to know, I would love to come with you, I haven’t seen them in a long time.”

Sophie’s parents live in Cornwall, we don’t go to see them often as we were both so busy and it takes a good five or six hours on a good day to drive there. But with the bank holiday this weekend, it made sense to go.

“I’d like you to come, they always love seeing you, and I love taking you there.” she squeezes my hand and meets my eyes. “I want to get back to how we were Doug, before all this happened.” 

“Me too.” Clearing the plates a thought comes to me.

“This may sound crazy, but, we could drive tonight?” I turn to face her raising an eyebrow. 

“Tonight?” 

“Well, there won’t be any traffic, and it would make the most of tomorrow.” 

“It makes sense I guess, and we’ve only had a small glass of wine.” she is chewing her lip, thinking if this was crazy. 

“I’m happy to drive Sophie, you can sleep.” I walk up to her, putting my hands on her waist, pulling her to me. 

“We could be there late tonight, you still have a key don’t you? So you’re mum and dad wouldn’t need to wait up?” rubbing circles on her hips, my cock starts to thicken. 

“Thats true... shall I see if they would mind us arriving late?”

As Sophie steps away from me and goes to get her phone, I take the opportunity to discreetly adjust myself. I hear her speaking to her mum, she sounds so happy, excited, I can’t help but smile to myself. Sophie should always be happy. 

“Mum thinks its a great idea, she said you’re a genius.” she rolls her eyes laughing. “I told her not to feed your ego.” 

“Well, your mum is right, I am a genius” I grin. 

“Can we pop back to mine so I can pack some things?” She looks at me with her deep brown eyes. She could get me to do anything with those eyes.

“Of course.” and I was sure she would. 

Chapter Nineteen

Doug

“Okay... what do you want to know.”

I grip the steering wheel a little tighter and focus a little more on the road ahead of me. I thought this was a good idea, to talk this through in the car, no escaping.

“Well,
everything
. What she’s like? When you’re going to see her again? Do you want me to meet her? Does she even know about me?”

Turning my head I see Sophie is watching me. I exhale, trying to decide what question to answer first. 

“She is…
beautiful
. She has the funniest expressions and I just know she is going to wrap me around her little finger.” I risk a glance at Sophie, and am surprised to see she is smiling at me. 

“She is so strong, it is incredible. She has just lost her mum and been told she has a dad and do you know what she said to me the first time I met her?” I smile at the memory, “She took my hand, looked into my eyes and she told me....”

I have to stop and swallow down the lump in my throat. Sophie reaches over and takes my hand in hers.

“She told me, My mommy is with the Angels now, I think the Angels sent me my daddy to look after me. I always wanted a daddy. I’m gonna love you forever.”

My heart clenches at the memory, her big blue eyes looking into mine, shining with tears. Her little hand so small in mine. I hear a sniff and look over to Sophie, tears are falling down her face and she is smiling.

“She sounds like an amazing little girl, just like her dad.” I grip her hand more tightly, feeling so much love for her right now I think I might explode. 

“To answer your other questions, I’ll be seeing her in a months time. She isn’t at school yet, so her grandparents are going to bring her over for a holiday...” I hope Sophie will be okay with this.

“I invited them to stay with me, I have all that space and it doesn’t make sense for them to pay to stay in a hotel, I hope you don’t mind..” 

“Mind? Why would I mind? Where else would you have your daughter stay other than with you?” She takes a deep breath.

“Can I meet her?” She whispers so quietly I can barely hear her.

“Do you want to? Are you ready?” There is silence for a while and then Sophie answers.

“I really
would
like to meet her, if she is a part of your life, she will be a part of mine. If you think she is ready, then I am too.” She raises my hand to her lips and kisses my fingers. 

“I told her about you, Sophie, I showed her your picture. She wants to meet you.” I can’t really believe how open Abigail is, so quick to love and accept change. 

“She asked if you lived with me, I told her not yet, but one day I hoped you would.”