He walked down the stairs wishing he still drank as much as he did at twenty-two. If he did, he’d surely be drunk already. He trod lightly and opened the big, heavy front doors as softly as possible to avoid drama with his mama.
Though he doubted it was an issue. She was probably staying hidden on purpose. Matt had lost his fucking mind earlier when he found out she’d paid off his boyfriend. Things were tense at the Tarrington estate this afternoon. If anyone needed to worry about being cut off, it was her.
The gates opened courtesy of Charlie as Matt walked down the driveway.
Matt found Holly sitting on the curb as if she had all the time in the world. She turned when the gates opened, and smiled in a way he didn’t expect.
She patted a portion of the curb next to her. “I saved you a seat.”
“How’d you get here?” Matt asked as he walked over and sat on the curb even if it felt juvenile and uncouth. It used to be something he loved about both Holly and Alex, their carefree approach to life. “I don’t see a car.”
“Alex took off, forgetting that he’s my ride for the day. Car’s in the shop.”
Matt shook his head and grinned. “Some things never change. Your car was always in the shop.”
“Probably need a new car.” Holly gave him a guilty smile. “But I tend to cling to what I know. Change hasn’t always been my thing. It’s sort of an issue, actually. Life is change. Hiding from it just hurts me.”
“There are a few things I wish would’ve stayed the same,” Matt admitted as he turned his head and looked down the long street of beautiful, multimillion-dollar beach houses. “Not that it makes a difference now.”
“Did your mama tell you Alex paid her back?” Holly asked curiously, tears suddenly sounding in her voice. “He didn’t have to, but he did. It was never about the money. He just needed a place to hide. The restaurant ate all his time. He stopped going out on the ocean. He hasn’t been with anyone since you.”
Matt swallowed hard and turned back to Holly, seeing the tears running down her face.
“No. She didn’t tell me, not that I’m surprised. But why didn’t Alex tell me? That should’ve been the first thing that left his mouth this morning when I confronted him.”
“’Cause he’s an idiot.” Holly shrugged and wiped at her cheeks. Then she reached out and clasped his big hand in her smaller one. “I know he hurt you, but he’s punished himself for it. Worse than you ever would’ve wanted for him. The restaurant was the only reason he had to be happy. He loved seeing something he created make the island a better place to be. Now that’s ruined too.”
Matt lifted his head and looked out to the street as the cars drove by. “What a fucking mess. Just ’cause two men were happy together. How ridiculous is that?”
“Pretty ridiculous.” Holly squeezed his hand tightly before she released him. “Alex is not perfect, but he loves you, Matt. He wakes up every morning calling out for you. Looking for what he lost. Leave if you have to. Let her win. But don’t ever doubt that what you had—what you
still
have—is real.”
Matt rested his elbows on his knees and let his head fall into his hands as the street grew blurry. There was so much hurt between them, so much loss when all either of them had really wanted was to be left alone to love each other.
“I wish we had a do-over,” he whispered it like a prayer, one last cry for help.
Holly kicked at his foot and said, “So make one.”
* * * *
Alex worked at loading the forty-two-foot Sea Ray he’d rented from Teddy. It wasn’t a boat Teddy would usually rent for more than a day, but he was nice enough to make an exception. He even offered it to him for free like the old days, but Alex insisted on paying.
He packed enough for at least a week, but that might not be long enough to make him functional again. The way he felt right now, Alex might end up running away with Teddy’s boat and never coming back to the island.
He’d send him payments for it.
Hell, it worked the last time he’d tried to escape from life. Alex thought he would never get rid of the hold Cecilia Tarrington had on him. It took years, but he’d done it, and in the end all those endless payments were for nothing.
Alex worked at loading the rest of his supplies to stop himself from thinking about it. He was almost frantic to get out on the water, to touch the memories and beauty. To remember everything good about his life.
The parents who left too soon.
The brother he hadn’t seen in six years.
The man he loved and lost on a road paved with good intentions.
They were all out there somewhere—their joy, their laughter. Alex might not be able to find the perfect day, but he could touch it for a little while.
“You think the marlin are biting this year?”
Alex turned around in surprise, seeing Matt walking down the dock with a backpack tossed over his shoulder. Alex gripped the cooler of ballyhoo baitfish tighter and stared at Matt in shock.
“I wouldn’t know,” he said distantly as Matt stopped in front of him, clearly waiting for an answer. “I haven’t been out this year, but I’ve heard they are. I’m heading down to Key West. I should hook something along the way.”
“I’ve never been to Key West.” Matt looked to the boat and then turned back to Alex to quirk a dark eyebrow. “I had a boyfriend promise to take me once, a long time ago, but he flaked out on me.”
Alex snorted. “What a dick.”
“Actually, he was a really nice guy.” Matt gave Alex a smile, his light eyes glassy in the late afternoon. “Just, you know…young. He made some stupid mistakes. We both did.”
Alex shook his head in denial. “You didn’t—”
“I should’ve protected you from her,” Matt cut him off. “I’ve spent my entire life dealing with my mama’s manipulation tactics, but you weren’t equipped. I should’ve known better, and I shouldn’t have let you push me away. I should’ve fought harder.”
“I’m sorry,” Alex whispered once more in anguish. “I know it doesn’t make it better, but I paid her back.”
“I know.” Matt sighed. “And it wouldn’t have mattered if you hadn’t paid it back. I’m not letting her hurt us a second time. It happened, but it’s over now.”
Matt reached out and grasped Alex’s wrist, pulling him in to a hug. Alex wrapped his arms around him and held on tight, half expecting Matt to turn to dust and slip away from him like he had so many times before.
This time he was nothing but solid muscle as Alex pressed his lips to the curve of Matt’s neck and said, “I’d move to Atlanta with you…if you’d have me.”
He meant it too. For Matt, he could leave Mirabella and never look back. Matt was his island, his haven from the sea that was beautiful, but often cruel and unpredictable. Wherever Matt was, Alex would be happy.
“I know you would. But you’ve got your restaurant and—”
“Fuck the restaurant!” Alex pulled back to look at Matt in disbelief. “It was just—”
“Amazing,” Matt said before Alex could put down his accomplishment. “What you did with Starfish and Coffee is unbelievable. It’s always busy. The concept is brilliant. People talk about those starfish doughnuts all over the island. I’ve heard about them at least five times since I got here.”
“Yeah, but look how I got it.” Alex shook his head. “It’s…tainted.”
“Only if we let it be,” Matt argued. “Why don’t we get away for a few days? Talk about things and make a plan like real adults. No more rash decisions.”
Alex swallowed hard and looked at Matt uncertainly. “You really wanna come with me? Is it real this time?”
Matt kissed Alex in response. They both opened their mouths to the rush of lust, their moans mingling. Their tongues brushed and nothing about the connection tasted wild, young, and free like it once was. They weren’t going to reclaim their lost innocence on the ocean. This time it was warm, strong, and stormproof. Truly golden. Completely untouchable.
The kiss tasted like home.
“Let’s make another perfect day,” Matt finally answered when they broke apart, breathless and smiling. “We’ll start a collection.”
Epilogue
“We can have the first ten up in the next six months,” Devon Hastings said as he used the salt and pepper shakers to hold down the blueprints. “But I wish you’d let me in on the deal.”
“I’m contracting your firm to design and build the first fifty stores,” Matt said with a snort of incredulousness. “You’re in on the deal, Devon.”
“I want a cut of the business. Let me invest.”
“I don’t need venture capital,” Matt reminded him as he looked over the drawings. “Sorry.”
Devon huffed in frustration. “What happened to loyalty to your brothers?”
“Am I or am I not paying your firm an outrageous amount of money for this project?” Matt lifted his eyebrows without looking up. “I could’ve gotten a better deal.”
“But not with this level of quality. I got my best guys on this.”
“What do you think?” Matt turned to Alex sitting next to him at the table. “Good?”
Alex nodded, his eyes glued to the proposal. “Yeah, it’s essentially what we asked for.”
“Don’t think that because it’s Devon, you can’t voice your concerns. This is just a first-draft-type thing. It’s all open to change.”
Alex tilted his head to get a better look. “There are only four tables.”
“But it’s not a restaurant like the one you’ve got here. The concept you two are laying down is completely different. It’s express. People are going to get their coffee. Get their doughnuts and go.”
“Some people like to sit in coffee shops,” Alex argued. “Have their coffee. Hang out with their laptops. Be cool.”
“True,” Matt agreed. “We need comfy chairs too. Maybe a sofa.”
Devon turned to his laptop next to him on the table. “We can do that. We’re drawing up several different models—ones for smaller locations, and others for bigger strip centers and malls. Have you considered franchising them?”
“Not right now,” Matt said in annoyance. “We’re still working on establishing the business plan.”
“If you did franchise them, you’d give me first dibs, right?”
“But we’re
not
franchising.”
“When are you going to let me fly you two down to Key West?” Devon changed his tactics and gave them both a wide smile. “You’re still in the honeymoon phase. Can’t be all work and no play.”
“He’s buttering us up.” Matt laughed as he turned to Alex. “That’s part of the game. He’s pretending to be open-minded and supportive to win brownie points.”
“I’m not pretending.” Devon sounded genuine. “A lot of people have given you shit since you came out. Was I one of them? Even before you approached me with this project I never cared. More women for me. Those were my exact words.”
“True.” Matt shrugged. “If we franchise, you’ll probably get first dibs.”
Alex laughed, surprised Matt gave in that easily. He put his arm on the booth bench behind Matt and looked around, keeping his eyes on things out of habit. At three in the afternoon, the lunch rush had died down and the servers were working on cleaning up. Holly was sitting by the register doing something on her phone, probably playing a word game.
“How’s business been?” Devon asked, pulling Alex’s attention back. “It seemed busy earlier.”
“Good,” Alex said with a smile. “Never underestimate the power of starfish doughnuts. Even Daryl started coming back for them.”
Matt shook his head. “And we thought money talked. Turns out grease and sugar win every time. I feel sort of guilty profiting off it when I won’t even eat the things.”
Alex squeezed his thigh affectionately. “I’ll eat them for you. Save you from being a hypocrite.”
“I wish you wouldn’t,” Matt said with a glare. “Just because you have a high metabolism doesn’t mean you can’t get heart disease.”
“You’re giving me heart disease by bitching about my diet all the time,” Alex countered. “I eat all that healthy crap at home. If I want a few doughnuts, it won’t kill me.”
“You eat fine at home. I don’t know what you’re complaining about. You have thirty pounds of mahi in the freezer right now.”
“You want to come over to our place later?” Alex asked Devon, desperate to change the subject. Matt had turned into a drill sergeant about Alex’s diet. “We do have a shitload of mahi to get rid of. We have some snapper too.”
“Yeah, sure, fish fries at your house are always fun,” Devon agreed enthusiastically. “You guys have the best place on the beach.”
Matt had bought the mansion he’d rented six years ago. There were parts that needed to be upgraded and remodeled, but for the most part Alex and Matt had kept it the same. The marlin hung over the bed in the same room they’d spent so many nights enjoying each other. They hadn’t caught another one yet, but they had a lot of fun trying on their days off.
Alex had those now—two a week. He took the time off even on weeks when they needed the extra hands on deck, because Matt insisted being well rested and calm made him a better manager.
Matt was a health nut. Alex still worked too hard but life was good.
Even with the bumps in the road. The friends they’d lost just for finally being themselves and being happy together. None of it was too much of a heartache for Matt and Alex. Losing each other for so long taught them to appreciate the best parts of life and ignore the rest. A few lost acquaintances from their youth was a small price to pay for the freedom it bought them.
Besides, the friends that stuck around were the ones worth keeping.
Alex leaned into Matt to inhale the expensive cologne that clung to his tan skin. “I like that you’ve made the restaurant your office.”
“I’ll probably have to set up some real offices once we get this going.” Matt touched Alex’s thigh, totally comfortable with the affection. “But for now, seeing you all day is nice.”
“Island living.” Devon shook his head, reminding them he was still there. “You make me want to tell my family to screw off and start my own projects. I’m jealous, Matt. You got out.”
Matt shrugged. “I never wanted to be in. Quitting was easy. Lucky the stock was up. I made a mint when I sold it all off.”
“I cannot believe you did that.” Devon laughed. “It’s plummeted since you left. You breathed new life into that corporation.”