That Was Then... (9 page)

“And you didn’t call your mom or anything?”

“How can I?”

I consider this. How can she not? I mean, it’s not like she can hide this thing forever. “Why don’t you go lie down, Nat. You and the baby could probably use some rest.”

She starts to resist, but I take her by the hand, tugging her to her feet and finally walking her to the bedroom. It’s not quite so messy in here. The bed is made, but I can tell someone has slept on top of it. I pull back the covers and help her to ease herself down then tuck her in. “Just rest. I’ll start cleaning stuff up.”

“Thanks, Kim…”

I close the door and go back out and look around. But instead of cleaning up, I step out the front door and turn on my cell phone. I call information and get Josh and Caitlin’s number.

“Hello?” says Caitlin.

“Caitlin,” I say in a shaky voice. “This is Kim Peterson and I’m with Natalie right now and—”

“Is she going into labor?”

“No, no…” I try to think how to put this. “It’s not that…but there’s a problem, a pretty big problem—with, uh, Ben and Nat. Do you think that you and Josh could come over to the apartment?”

“Of course. We’ll be right there.”

“Thanks.”

I go back into the apartment and consider cleaning up the mess, but then I decide to wait. I want them to see this for what it is. Including the empty Jack Daniel’s bottle still on the floor.

Josh and Caitlin get there about twenty minutes later, and I open the door and let them in. “Nat’s asleep,” I say in a quiet voice.

“What happened?” Josh asks as he sees the mess.

“Where’s Ben?” asks Caitlin.

And so I try to tell them the story. I try not to make Ben sound too much like the devil.

“Oh my gosh!” Caitlin says as she sits down on the futon. “This is unbelievable.”

“So you guys had no idea?”

“Cesar told me that Ben was dealing with something,” admits Josh. “I met him for coffee one night, and it seemed like it was just regular newlywed stuff. Ben acted like things were okay, just a little rocky. I figured it was natural that he was struggling some. Getting married and becoming a parent…”

“And being only seventeen,” adds Caitlin.

“I had no idea he’s been drinking.”

“Or abusive,” says Caitlin. While pouring out my story, I had told them about Nat’s black eye.

“I don’t know that for sure,” I say quickly. “It’s just an assumption.”

“It doesn’t really matter,” says Josh. “It’s obvious that they’re in trouble.”

“I hope Ben’s okay,” says Caitlin.

“Why don’t you try his cell?” suggests Josh.

So Caitlin goes into the kitchen and uses the phone.

“I didn’t know who to call,” I say lamely. “And it didn’t seem right not to tell anyone. Although Nat’s going to be really mad.”

“You did the right thing, Kim.”

“His phone’s turned off,” says Caitlin. I can see the worry in her eyes.

“He’s probably sleeping it off somewhere,” says Josh.

“Should we clean this up?” Caitlin looks around the apartment.

Josh nods. “That’s probably a good place to start.”

So we all start cleaning stuff up, and it actually doesn’t take too long. We’re just finishing up when
Natalie comes out of the bedroom. I can tell by the way she looks at me that she’s angry. But then Josh and Caitlin both hug her and tell her that they’re here to help, and I think I can see relief in her eyes.

“I had to call someone,” I say. “And I knew you didn’t want your mom to see this.”

“It’s okay,” she says sadly.

“You’re going to have to make some decisions,” Caitlin tells Nat. “But you don’t have to make them right now.”

“That’s right,” agrees Josh.

“I want you to pack some things,” continues Caitlin. “And then we’re taking you home with us.”

Natalie looks around the apartment. “But this is my home.”

“No, it’s not,” I tell her. “This is not a home, Nat. This is a prison.”

And then she starts to cry.

“I’m sorry, but it’s the truth, Nat. This whole thing is like a prison.”

“Come on,” Caitlin urges her. “We’ll help you to pack some things.”

So the three of us go into the bedroom and gather up some of Nat’s clothes and personal items, putting them into a duffle bag, and finally we’re ready to go.

“Shouldn’t I leave a note for Ben?” Nat says, holding on to the front doorknob.

“No,” says Josh. “Might be a good way to make Ben think about some things. Besides, I’ll be in touch with
him. I’ll let him know what’s up.”

I feel kind of at a loss as I watch the three of them drive away, like I’m no longer needed. And yet I’m relieved. Nat’s in good hands now. Josh and Caitlin will help her to figure out what to do.

And yet when I get home and sit at my computer to work on some homework and end up writing in my diary instead, I’m still really worried about Nat. What’s going to happen now?

Since I can’t answer that, I decide to answer a letter for my column.

So much has happened this week…where do I begin? For starters, Nat and Ben appear to be history. Serious history. Oh, Nat still has her moments when she thinks they could get back together, but I keep reminding her of the facts and giving her small doses of reality—not to depress her, but just to keep her head in the present.

Caitlin and Josh and Mr. and Mrs. O’Conner confronted Ben in the apartment later that same day we moved Nat out. I guess Ben had a pretty bad hangover, which made it even easier for them to make their point. Kind of an intervention, really. And it sounds like they did it in love, which was better than I probably would’ve done. I seriously wanted to lay into that boy. But as Nat keeps reminding me, I need to forgive him. I’m amazed at how easily she can forgive him. What’s up with that?

“It’s partly my fault,” she told me on Monday. It was the first night she came to stay at our house. Nat’s mom is too angry to allow Nat to go home just yet—if ever. And maybe it’s for the best. We’ve got plenty of room here, and Nat seems to appreciate it. I was surprised at how easily my dad handled it. He was like “no problem.” I think he was actually relieved to have Nat come here since it turns out he’s been as worried about her as anyone. And the funny thing is, Nat listens to him. He was even talking to her about how adoption was really a wonderful thing, and she didn’t argue. Go figure!

Anyway, back to Nat and how she thinks the big blowup with Ben is partially her fault.

“I can see now that it was the marriage, the pregnancy, the responsibility that was making Ben crazy,” she told me that night. “It’s just too much for a guy his age to deal with.”

I nodded, thinking, Yeah, duh, I tried to tell you that about a billion times. But I don’t say this.

“Ben never would’ve started drinking if we hadn’t gotten married,” she said sadly. “Josh helped me understand that.”

“It did seem pretty out of character for Ben,” I admitted. “I could hardly believe it at first.”

“Me too. And then I told myself it was just a one-time thing. But it happened again, and again, and again…”

“Do you think Ben’s an alcoholic?” I asked.

“He’s agreed to an outpatient rehab treatment
program. He’ll get some counseling and report to a mentor and attend AA meetings for six months.”

“Wow, Nat, that’s a pretty big commitment.”

“Yeah, his parents told him that was the only way they’d let him come back home.”

“So he’s back home?”

She nodded with a glum expression.

“I know this is really hard on you,” I told her in my most compassionate voice. “But, in the long run, I think you’ll see it’s for the best.”

She shrugs. “Maybe…”

“Caitlin told me that she thinks it might be a good thing you guys got married.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. She said that it might’ve been the only way for you both to figure out that it wouldn’t work. I mean, if you hadn’t gone through all of that, you might still be thinking there was hope.”

“I suppose…”

“I know that God can still bring something good out of this, Nat.”

She sighed. “Maybe, but sometimes I feel like I’m sitting in the bottom of a great big hole, a hole that just keeps getting deeper.”

And I can understand how she might feel that way, but I happen to think she’s slowly climbing out of the hole. I mean, she’s been functioning pretty well this week. She uses my mom’s old car to drive herself to the pregnant school every morning. And then she comes
home and helps out around the house.

She even watches Krissy and Micah for a couple of hours after school, which you’d think would please her mom, although Mrs. McCabe is still treating Nat like she’s a good-for-nothing degenerate. It’s like she hates her own daughter. And, okay, Nat’s blown it, but shouldn’t she be forgiven? Especially by her own mother? Her mother who claims to be a Christian? I just don’t get that.

I think my dad is making some real headway with Nat. It’s amazing how she will listen to him. I suppose it has to do with her “absent” father. I know she’s been hungry for male attention. That’s probably one of the reasons she glommed onto Ben last year. I think he was sort of a “daddy replacement” for her. Oh, I’d never say that to her. Or anyone for that matter. But it’s safe in my diary. Anyway, tonight at dinner, which Nat made on her own, my dad surprises both of us by asking Nat what her plans are.

“Plans?” she says as she passes me the butter.

“For your future?” he persists. “And for your baby?”

“Oh…”

“Not that you’re not welcome to stay here,” he says. “At least until the baby is born. I can’t really say what will happen after that. But what are you thinking?”

“I, uh, I don’t really know.” She frowns. “I thought I’d
have my diploma before Christmas break, but that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen now. All the stuff with Ben and everything, well, I missed quite a few classes this fall.”

“You could come back to Harrison,” I suggest.

“But she couldn’t bring her baby with her,” Dad reminds me. “They don’t have childcare there.”

“That’s right.” I glance at Nat. “So you’ll stay at the pregnant school then?”

“It’s not the pregnant school, Kim. I keep telling you it’s the Margaret Allander Michner School.”

“Yeah, yeah. So are you going to keep going there?”

She sighs loudly. “I don’t know…”

“You don’t have a lot of time to figure these things out,” my dad says as he takes a second helping of mashed potatoes.

“I know. I mean my scholarship at the Michner school is only good until the end of this term. I don’t even know if I could get another one. And I know my mom can’t help me.”

“And childcare is expensive,” my dad points out. “Not only that, you have things like health insurance to consider—which makes me wonder, how do you plan to pay for your medical expenses when the baby is born?”

She shrugs. “I guess I thought Ben’s parents would help out. And I’ve heard that hospitals will sometimes forgive your debt if you’re really poor.” She kind of laughs, but her eyes look really sad. “And that pretty
much describes me. Poor and homeless.”

Okay, now I’m starting to get a little irritated at my dad. It’s one thing for him to get her to think about her future, but it’s another thing to make her feel like such a pathetic loser. I’m about to say something when my dad reveals where he’s actually going with this conversation.

“You know, Natalie, there are lots of really good people out there who want to adopt babies. People who would cover all your expenses and even help you get back on your feet again. People who would love a baby and give it everything it needs.” He turns and smiles at me. “There are people who would gladly take a child into their hearts and their homes and never, not for a minute, consider this child anything but their own.”

Except for the ticking of the clock, the room is silent now. And I’m looking down at my plate, afraid to look at Nat, afraid that she will get really angry now. The way she gets angry at me if I suggest this, which I haven’t for quite some time. I’m actually praying now, silently begging God to show Nat what’s best for her life. I admit that I don’t really know. It’s just hard to believe, especially after all she’s been through, that she will be happy being a single mother.

“I—I wouldn’t even know where to begin,” she says in a quiet voice. “I mean, how do you look into something like that? Who do you call?”

“I’m sure there are people at your school with connections,” my dad tells her. “And even the agency that helped us find Kam deals with domestic adoptions.”

“Domestic?”

“Within our country,” he explains.

“Right.” She nods as if she knew this. “Well, I guess I could talk to someone there. I mean, just to find out about it. I’m not saying that’s what I’m going to do. But I suppose I could at least look into it.”

My dad smiles. “That would be wise, Natalie. And I’m not trying to influence you one way or the other. I just think you need to take a really good look at what you’re getting yourself into. No matter which way you choose.”